Joe and I had fun with yesterday's GENERAL HOSPITAL — if you call fun e-mailing each other back and forth going, "Wait, is this the same night as Claudia's car accident?" Between the brain surgery sequence a few days ago, the trip to the police station and the scenes at the Quartermaine mansion, we were totally mystified by everyone referring to the collision as having happened mere hours ago. "Is this like PASSIONS, where the days last for months?" Joe asked me. The answer? Yes. Yes, it is. And this interminable storyline has only just begun!

You know, I accept that Sonny Corinthos is the center of GH now. There's no use in wailing about the mob-driven storytelling. That ship done sailed. The ship that hasn't sailed? Sonny's love life. That can, and should, be dry-docked and overhauled.

Almost every single time he gets involved with a woman, it's the same tired and misogynistic cycle. There are variations on the theme —Emily, for instance, skipped the "I hate you" phase — but for the most part, it goes like this:

I'm going to try and hit a few different shows in this entry, including Y&R, NBC's MERLIN, and B&B — with no mentions of Rafe/Adam, babies or hats!

Holy HIPAA violation, Batman! Y&R's Olivia told Neil and Devon about Lily's cancer diagnosis before telling the patient herself? Last I checked, Lily is a twice married, grown woman. First Neil brings her a teddy bear to make her feel better, and then he tells her about her biopsy coming back positive? All the while insisting that Cane should be kept away from her? I know daughters are their daddy's little girls forever (Hi, Dad! I love you!) but that is ridiculous. She's not a child. Neil's righteous indignation about Cane rings extra hollow considering he's dating Tyra, who lied about her identity for years! However, I'm glad we got a Dru mention out of today's scenes. Neil and Olivia's bittersweet scenes about Lily and her mother were incredibly poignant.

Hey, Y&R, what's the dealio? Why wait till now to flesh out Rafe? Just because Colleen is back to be his talk-to? Couldn't we have seen the flashes of depth we saw yesterday before he got busy with Adam? Viewers tend to like a little dimension to characters, especially when they're suddenly part of a front-burner story. Yesterday was the first time I felt like Rafe was a character and not just a plot point, a simple device in Adam's Grand Scheme. And — I'm about to freak even myself out here — I actually saw a flicker of heat between him and Adam. Their Very Meaningful But Chaste Hug was nice. Mind you, I'm still not rooting for them or suggesting pairing names and fan campaigns. I'm just acknowledging that Adam's crazy plot is actually developing a mildly believable component now that Rafe has more to do than just react like a deer in headlights. BTW...? If Rafe were to hook up with John Driscoll's soon-to-debut Chance, we could call them "Chafe." LOL! In fact, I don't care if they hook up or not, I'm going to call them that anyway!

I've said it before, but I'm a sucker for a slow-burning love story, and that's part of why I'm such a fan of gay-themed storylines on soaps. By virtue of daytime treading carefully with the issue, stories like OLTL's Kyle and Fish are being told at a snail's pace compared to the whirlwind courtships and weddings of straight characters. I mean, I miss the days of waiting years for a couple to get together.

Case in point? I'm a huge fan of Marvel Comics' Rogue and Gambit.

Cutting away from Y&R's Adam and Rafe kissing isn't going to make it any less gay and, therefore, more palatable for conservative viewers. Odds are they've already tuned out because the mere existence of gay characters disturbs them...or because Adam's story in general is so crazy. A little smooch action isn't going to make it any worse. Not-so-gay gay content is kinda like being a "little bit pregnant." The barn door's open, the horse has fled, and there ain't no getting it back in the stall.

Cue another day of completely inappropriate laughter on my part when it comes to Y&R’s Adam and Rafe. Honestly, I'm trying to figure out what I find so gosh-darned funny. Maybe it's just Adam, who is so, so ridiculous, especially in the context of a show like Y&R, which is usually "serious business."

Watching ATWT at home on Friday instead of at the office, I was reminded of the tagline for Alien: "In space, no one can hear you scream." Without my co-workers around, I was free to shriek like a horror movie ingenue at Hunter and Alison. Of course, the worst of it happened on Thursday, but still...I felt like I was watching Flowers in the Attic, as Hunter talked about his FEELINGS FOR HIS SISTER. What in the fresh hell is going on in Oakdale that this is an acceptable storyline twist? Was the Zac/Zoe arc a litmus test for how people would take Hunter/Ali tonsil hockey? Because I gotta tell you: I do NOT need to see siblings make out.

Oh, GH. What AM I going to do with you? You give me the awesomeness of Coleman and then the ick of Ethan manhandling Rebecca. What's next, he rapes her on a dance floor just like his hero, daddy Luke? Though, really, the stalker-rapist vibe that's emanating from him now may be positive news for many GH fans: maybe the powers-that-be got your message and are sending him out on the villainous crazy train?

I've found the perfect way to deal with Meg's forever-revolving door of swains on ATWT: focusing on how pretty Marie Wilson's hair looks. Love the deep red highlights! However, I can't hand-wave Margo's acceptance of Adam quite as easily. In fact, it makes me see red in a different way. ATWT has done a beautiful job of calling back to Emily, Susan and Larry's history, but how could they forget a quintessential part of Margo's: she was raped. I cannot believe that she would let Adam have a free pass for attacking Gwen, no matter how much her bullet wound hurts and how glad she is to see him alive. I remember how tender she was with Maddie during Maddie's rape reveal storyline.