Things fell apart soon after he followed Leal to San Francisco for her run in Rent, although he admits that she's still the closest he has come to lifetime commitment. "There was a moment where I thought I was going to get married," he reveals. "I walked into Tiffany's with her -- and walked right out again. I think it was from that moment on, and we never really spoke about it after that, but it was the beginning of the end."

Without his relationship, it's almost as if the distractions of L.A. got the better of him. "After Sharon, I met a lot of really fine-looking women who lacked a lot of substance that I miss from people like Sharon or even Betty," he continues. "I felt myself compromising, attached to people I had no business getting attached to: a bunch of hot mamas who can't offer me a thing at the end of the day. I'd love to find fusion of everything again."

And he's not just talking about his love life. He dreads the idea of life being that empty, even as he fights the more shallow impulses within himself. "I feel almost desperate to find gratification blended with impacting life in a positive way. And the two don't necessarily feel like they go hand in hand all the time," he finally says, in one of his most honest declarations.

Like we said, pretty forthcoming. But he's not so obliviously earnest, which is why one of his last comments -- elicited, quite innocently, from a non-invasive "just the facts"-intended question about his worst qualities, and which quickly evolves into a more complex discussion -- comes with another wry grin. "I'd like to dig a little deeper, which I've been doing. I've been excavating a lot," he says. "We'll see how deep I can go."

This interview originally appeared in the April 29, 2003
issue of Soap Opera Digest.