Theresa, Theresa, Theresa...would she really go anywhere without Ethan? We think not, but we'd like her to. We'd send her to GENERAL HOSPITAL, because the exotic, petite, ballsy brunette could be the kind of gal Sonny and Jax might like fighting over. While tall, blonde Carly is wavering, Theresa can swoop in and captivate the boys. If she thought clashing with Gwen for six years was a challenge, wait till she meets Carly!

Chad has a couple of choices here. Having been dissed by Whitney for his down-low behavior, he still needs to accept his homosexuality. In his confusion, he might try to hook up with Pine Valley's Zarf, a woman trapped in a man's body. After one session with hunky Chad, Zarf is sure to decide he’s happy enough being a man and call off the sex change, which could mean a happily-ever-after for the duo.... But we'd like to see Zarf complete his mission, so we're sending Chad to Oakdale, where he might learn a thing or two from out and proud teen Luke. Some ATWT fans would hate to see Luke romanced by someone so confused and full of self-loathing, but every guy needs a good wingman. As for romance, maybe if Chad gets it together one day, they can share something akin to what Whitney thought she had with him.

Whitney is the original triple threat. True, we've never actually seen her dance or act, but you can't deny she has the voice of an angel and we're sure she has what it takes to make it. As the Oakdale music scene has gotten too dangerous of late, she's heading to Los Angeles to make it on her own. Once out there, she'll be spotted at the Insomnia karaoke night and the rest, as they say, will be history. If she can get over Chad's betrayal, she might even find love with older man Thorne, whose daughter is in the same class as young Miles.

Miguel has been to hell and back — literally — so he deserves some fun in the sun. With his sister's best friend watching over him, the working man can move west and land a job fishing off the marina. That's where he'd meet Captain Nick Marone, who's always looking for a surrogate child, but it won't be long before he's won over to the other side. B&B's Forresters will snap him up as the model for their new men's line and once he's breached the inner circle, he can give Rick a run for his money and land Phoebe as his next catch. Unless, of course, he finds Charity's been living there all along. The blonde good girl would fit right into L.A.

Paloma and Pilar lead the Bennett clan to a quaint Mexican town in the new telenovela La Familia Mas Loca (The Craziest Family). The spin-off kicks off when Sam and Pilar, still in mourning over Grace, find comfort in one another and fall in love. This works just fine for supercouple-in-the-making Paloma and Noah, but when the Latinas are forced out of Harmony, both affairs are at risk. Ultimately, Noah and Sam agree they can't let their ladies go. After deciding to relocate to Pueblo del Lagrima (Tear City), Sam calls single mom Kay and rehabbing Jessica together and announces that the family needs a new start. In the soapiest immersion storyline ever, the dysfunctional Lopez-Bennett clan serves as "The Americans," trying to cut it in a Spanish-speaking world. The villain? A poorly accented Spike, of course!