YOUNG AND RESTLESS's Neil took it pretty well when daughter Lily got tattooed and pierced as a cry for attention, but Kristoff St. John's three kids better not get any ideas.

"Teen-agers are a rare bread," laughs St. John (Neil)."On the show, it's shock value, so of course Lily, Sierra and Colleen all go out and brandish themselves. In real life, I know my daughter. Paris, 10, has more sense than to do anything major to her body without talking to me first. If not, she'd be one dead little girl!"

His oldest, son Julian,13, has already taught him that you can never be too sure, though."Having a teen-ager in the house, I can understand how those types of things occur," he grins."It's become more and more difficult to deal with Julian since he turned 13. There are a lot of teen-age issues on the table: friends, social life, AOL, telephone, music -- virtually every aspect of his life."

The key is communication, and just the right amount of it."We're locking down on the inappropriate teen-age behavior and letting him make as many positive choices as we feel he can, without keeping him too closely under our thumbs," confides St. John."The best way to keep someone away from you is to get too close for comfort. Give them their space, their distance and let them learn. It's about consequences: knowing what will happen when a certain objective is met or not met."

This father knows best indeed.