November 20, 2009
First impressions of GENERAL HOSPITAL's Franco, as portrayed by movie star James Franco? Cautiously optimistic. Franco the actor did not have a chance to really do much beyond act all shadowy and mysterious. But Franco the character does seem really twisted — like someone out of one of those lurid prime-time procedurals. Okay, so he's an artist, but that doesn't make it right that he likes to play with corpses — and live girls playing dead bodies.

Was I the only one a little creeped out when Kate was instructing Maxie to do whatever is necessary to land the reclusive artist Franco for a Crimson photo shoot? Now, Kate is always very demanding, but the way she noted that Franco had been a recluse in recent years and how Maxie is such a pretty and perky blonde…well, it seemed clear that Kate was urging Maxie to seduce him. Too bad it looks like Franco's idea of foreplay may just be to have Maxie lie in a chalk body outline. (Maxie is an "open-minded" chick, but that might be too much even for her.) Still, once she gets a gander at exactly how "facially challenged" he is, who knows what she would say?

November 19, 2009
There has not been a more consistently wonderful show this fall than Fox's GLEE. What started as a lark of a musical comedy set in a high school has matured into a complicated drama with deep characters and layered stories. And songs.

Take this week's installment, which saw the choir kids assigned to work on ballads. The task uncovered hidden passions, some surprising, some not so much. Kurt tried to manage his crush on Finn by helping the football hero in his struggle to deal with Quinn's pregnancy. Kurt's romantic advice — which may have been colored by his wish to free up Finn for himself — led to a hilarious scene in which Finn crooned "(You're) Havin' My Baby" in front of Quinn's mortified parents (which included DAYS OF OUR LIVES' former Eve, Charlotte Ross). The staunchly conservative couple had no idea their princess was pregnant, and in a shattering scene, threw their wayward daughter out of the house! I felt sure Quinn would feel guilty enough to tell Finn he is not really her baby-daddy, but...no. The story also examined Kurt's and Finn's feelings for their dead parents (Kurt lost his mother at a young age, and Finn never knew his soldier father) in a heartbreaking sequence. Those heavy emotional sequences were contrasted with Rachel's loopy schoolgirl crush on Will, which resulted in a fun mash-up of The Police's "Don't Stand So Close To Me" with Gary Puckett and the Union Gap's "Young Girl." And it all ended with an uplifting (if ultimately misguided) version of "Lean On Me."

And that is what I like best about GLEE and makes it the most entertaining new show of the fall: It's funny and sad at alternating (and unexpected) moments, just like real life. But with songs.

November 18, 2009
In case anyone is just emerging from a cave today, the big news about last night's TV lineup was not some model being kicked off DANCING WITH THE STARS or the epic fail of that PRISONER remake; it was the return of Heather Locklear to MELROSE PLACE in her signature role, überbitch Amanda Woodward. And, just as she was credited with saving the original series, I think Locklear might just improve the odds for the remake, which has been plagued by shaky ratings.

Suddenly, the entire show — not just Amanda's scenes — seemed sexier and more tightly focused. The storytelling was not as scattershot as it was in the past when trying to service the large cast. Locklear was the star, and she got right to work. Amanda promptly blew up the silly "Riley is a model" plot, and gave Ella a lesson in how to really play the vixen game: by taking no prisoners. Amanda demonstrated she has not lost a step in the ruthlessness department when she got Riley fired for sinking the Anton V account. Nobody crosses Amanda Woodward! It also taught Riley that there are consequences for having values. It's one thing talk about honesty being the best policy in an AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL kind of way; it's another to get fired from a teaching job for it. When Amanda wanted to test Ella's loyalty to the agency, she sent a woman to try to seduce Ella, both professionally and personally. I really like Katie Cassidy's work on this show, so I hope Amanda mentors her, rather than supplants her.

I had literally given up on MP and stopped watching, but I'm willing to give it another shot when it returns in December.

November 17, 2009
Night two of the AMC miniseries adaptation of the cult series THE PRISONER found No. 6 getting a new job, but still trapped in the desert — and the series itself still lost in the wilderness.

But let me be positive for a moment. I have thoroughly enjoyed the photography and high production values. Last night's installments looked really spectacular, especially the first hour, which dealt with characters spying on each other. Filming scenes from a distance, through windows, from behind plants and grates or reflected in mirrors or car fenders really expressed a feeling of voyeurism, and adding creative shots through holes in walls and ceilings, or even peering upward out of the cup on a putting green honed the creepiness factor into outright paranoia, as if every character is spying on every other one.

But while it all looked fantastic, the actual storytelling has been crap. Director Nick Hurran seems less interested in telling a story than making sure there are lots of pretty pictures on the screen. For example, the entire sequence when 11-12 helps 6 go undercover in the tunnels was completely incoherent. What happened? Did anything actually happen, or was it a dream? Was 6 drugged? Instead of mysterious, it's all just confusing. Too much of the story still appears to be odd merely for the sake of being weird: Why does 313 appear seemingly at random nearly everywhere? One moment she's chiding 6 for skulking on the roof of her building, but the next moment she's with 6 at 147's place? Are the other denizens of the Village in the same boat as 6, or all planted there to work him? Why did 6 agree to work the surveillance unit with 909? That entire story felt tacked on; the idea of the mysterious Dreamers as a threat came out of the blue and was left undeveloped.

That's assuming that there is an overarching story. I have a sinking feeling that the Village is going to be explained as just another part of the evil corporation 6 quit, and the whole enterprise is going to be written off as the machinations of just another greedy multinational that went too far in the pursuit of profits.

Based on the first 4 parts, I do not hold out much hope THE PRISONER will be able to replicate the mind-bending denouement of the original series (although I have my ideas about how I would accomplish it), but I've come this far, so I might as well see it through tonight. So, for the last time I will say, "Be seeing you..."

November 16, 2009
AMC launched the first two installments of its six-part remake of the British series THE PRISONER last night, and I can honestly say this is not your grandfather's PRISONER. And that's not a good thing: The show is as dry as the desert that surrounds the Village on all sides.

This 2009 version uses the 1967-'68 series as a jumping-off point, but it leaves out a key ingredient that made the original such bracing television: tension. In the original, Patrick McGoohan played a secret agent who quit and found himself trapped in a mysterious Village — a seemingly idyllic resort designed to uncover the secret of his disenchantment. There, his name was replaced by number: 6. The Village is run by the mysterious No. 2, an ever-changing bureaucrat. But in the 2009 version, No. 2 gets humanized with a family life, and is played by Sir Ian McKellen as a delightfully sinister predator. However, as the new No. 6, James Caviezel seems to take playing a mystery man as license to avoid giving him a personality.

It's still early, but the new version has adopted only some of the better-known tropes of the original run: The characters repeat the catchphrase "Be seeing you" — but without the accompanying hand gesture (which resembles the "OK" sign). And, strangely, only one old man wears the characteristic cricket jacket that was the ‘60s uniform of the Village. And while Caviezel says, "I am not a number," repeatedly, I missed McGoohan's defiant motto: "I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered!"

Well, at least soap fans must have chuckled to see the entire Village addicted to the (fictional) soap opera WONKERS!

Based on last night's two-parter, I'm not really holding out much hope for tonight's Parts 3-4, but despite my better judgment I'll say, "Be seeing you." (For one more night, at least...)

November 11, 2009
Tonight is the night that Gleeks everywhere will get a chance to convert their skeptical friends into true believers when GLEE airs its most moving episode so far this season. Appropriately called "Wheels," tonight's installment (at 9 p.m. on Fox) focuses on Artie (Kevin McHale) and delves into his life with a story that is sensitive without being maudlin. In fact, the entire episode is intensely moving and features redefining revelations about a host of characters you only think you know.

Assuming you can focus through the tears — we've seen the episode here at Weekly, and certain people almost needed to be sedated afterward — you (and the grateful new best friend you have just converted) will see fun interpretations of some pretty well-known songs, and an elaborate finale quite unlike anything you've seen before.

November 4, 2009
The new version of V is designed to be a reboot, but tacking on the conventions of our current TV landscape calls attention to the familiarity of the concept. Of course a little of this is part-and-parcel of being a remake, and thus unavoidable, however, everything that is being ladled on top is also all too familiar. V feels like we've seen it all before because we have seen it all before. Literally.

This time around, the idea is, when 21st-century aliens invade, they will not come as warriors, but rather as marketing agents. They will invade via advertising, with pamphlets, white teeth, long legs and tight butts. And a subtle message of inclusiveness and the common good. Heck, the Visitors were even offering "universal health care" — red meat for TV talking head Chad Decker (Scott Wolf), if only he hadn't compromised his morals in exchange for ratings. Blast!

It was clever to cast Morena Baccarin (ex-Inara, FIREFLY/Serenity) as Anna, the beautiful public face of the Visitors; Baccarin also played Adria, the beautiful public face of the invading Ori cult on STARGATE SG-1. And well, the Visitors are practically setting themselves up as a cult, to the point of recruiting confused young people. Getting Laura Vandervoort, whose big break came playing the alien Supergirl...er, Kara on SMALLVILLE, for Lisa was another sly casting move, as was bringing aboard Joel Gretsch (as Father Jack), who knows a thing or two about alien abduction after starring on THE 4400. Oh, Alan Tudyk used to play Wash alongside Baccarin on FIREFLY. Gee, one begins to understand why everything feels familiar, even without seeing ALIEN NATION before or District 9 this summer.

Of course, that could be due to the clichés in the plotline: Morris Chestnut played a man with a mysterious past that comes back to haunt him just as he's about to propose. And the FBI office investigating the case has a mole tipping off the bad guys, so our heroine — played by Elizabeth Mitchell, who has loads of science-fiction cred herself, thanks to her much-admired run as LOST's Juliet — has to act as a lone wolf. That is, when she isn't playing heroic single mom to surly teen Tyler, who has the requisite doofus best friend and a thing for comely newcomer Lisa. Zzzz...

Chad was told, "Compromising one's principles for the greater good is not a shameful act. It is a noble one." So if you want to watch V as currently constituted, then that's fine. It's diverting enough. But don't delude yourself into thinking it's for the greater good; it's actually more of a lowest common denominator.

Contrast all this with STARGATE UNIVERSE, which takes some familiar ideas (It's basically STARGATE crossed with STAR TREK: VOYAGER and a dash of LOST IN SPACE) and mashes them up into something greater than the sum of its parts. All SGU did was add a bunch of interesting character conflict, and really think about its premise; what's really powerful and interesting about it? Then the-powers-that-be wrote good stories around those characters and ideas. Simple, right?

Simple as A-B-C. But can ABC pull it off with V?

November 2, 2009
MAD MEN set itself a tall order in dealing with a historical moment as well-documented as the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, but the Emmy-winning AMC drama succeeded in evoking what it felt like to get the news that the president had been suddenly murdered. (BTW, Walter Cronkite's legendary announcement came when he cut into AS THE WORLD TURNS.)

There was a palpable sense of societal vertigo to go with the characters feeling torn asunder themselves. Don and Betty still had not found their footing following the ugly revelation of his former identity, and so many other characters — Pete, Jane, Roger, Betty — were still questioning where they fit in the world. And then the entire old order dropped out beneath their feet. "What is happening?" Betty cried when Lee Harvey Oswald was shot dead right before her eyes on national TV. In those days, the political globe was more rigidly segmented into the Free World and the Communists, with the West held up as the model of peace and stability. So to have its leader savagely struck down by seemingly random violence made everything seem potentially unstable and nonsensical. So many other historical treatments of Nov. 22, 1963 tend to focus on the sadness, but MAD MEN went for the disorientation of a nation decapitated. The Draper family has also lost its head, and is stumbling around, disoriented, like a chicken with its head cut off that doesn't know enough to lay down and die.

October 29, 2009
The moment he first appeared on Tuesday, wriggling his eyebrows and asking Elizabeth, "Remember me?" Jonathan Jackson effortlessly reclaimed the role of Lucky. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of Greg Vaughan's work as Lucky and not looking to disparage him at all — but I instantly liked Jackson. And maybe I was imagining it, but even perky Rebecca Herbst (Elizabeth) seemed to have an extra glow about her and spring in her step as a jaunty Lucky declared, "I feel lucky tonight."

Lucky's thrust-and-parry with Luke carried more of an edge when played by Jackson and Tony Geary. Even the scene in which father and son lounged on a bench and growled at each other felt livelier because Jackson looked so dialed in and focused. I hope that concentration eventually translates to the character, and GH stops walking all over Lucky. The man is a detective, remember, yet he's always the last one to know important things like, oh, say, his wife is screwing around on him. Stop making him a dupe. If Lucky can look different, why can't GH look at him differently?

October 28, 2009
I have to give mad props to MAD MEN's Jon Hamm for his moving confession scene in this week's episode. Confronted with evidence of his past as "Dick Whitman," a haggard Don fingered the fading photographs and finally talked about his childhood. Hamm was sedate, and there was a bitter tang of defeat in his voice, as if all his years of careful subterfuge were now wasted. (And maybe they were.) Viewers could see that dredging up the past was tearing Don up. But when Don recounted the story of his younger brother's suicide, Hamm was simply brilliant. For years, Don has been haunted with guilt that he "failed" his sibling by not recognizing his cries for help, and Hamm showed every minute of that torment in his posture, gestures and weary tone. Hamm's voice was choked with long-suppressed emotion as he admitted that he valued his new life as Betty's husband more than his old identity, and could not risk his current family by reaching out to his troubled old one. (Yet he constantly risks that marriage with his philandering!) Hunched over and sobbing, Hamm never lost Don's sense masculinity, even as he gave viewers a glimpse at the shattered man behind the cool facade. Don Draper, the man who can talk clients (and women) into anything, could not finagle his way out of this one, and in the process, left me practically speechless.

October 22, 2009
I am really glad that GLEE is on the air, and that Fox has picked up the back nine, giving it a full season of 22 episodes.

GLEE is generating a lot of positive buzz and good ratings because the stories tend to be edgy and raunchy, often addressing the ugly realities of real teen issues like popularity, and sexual and religious identity. Sure, the cast looks politically correct (There's a guy in a wheelchair, as well as various ethnic minorities!), but the way the kids are treated is so not PC. Artie's (Kevin McHale) wheelchair was wedged into a portable toilet by "pranksters," for example. This week's episode, in which cool kids Finn (Cory Monteith) and Quinn (Dianna Agron) were knocked to the bottom of the social totem pole because of their association with glee club, was hilarious. From quarterback and head cheerleader to objects of ridicule and slushie attacks overnight!

Of course the songs are always a highlight, but I have to give special props to Puck's (Mark Salling) rendition of "Sweet Caroline," which was possibly better than Neil Diamond himself, and will make you forget every time you had to suffer through some drunken rendition of it at karaoke night. Will (Matthew Morrison, ex-Adam, ATWT) busted a move like Young MC, and Emma (HEROES' Jayma Mays) finally got to strut her vocal stuff. I could have watched all night...

October 21, 2009
It looks like last night was my last time watching the rebooted MELROSE PLACE, because the clichés are so overwhelming that it feels like I've seen it all before.

Let's start with Riley's adventures in modeling. Designer Anton V. supposedly chose Riley as the...er, face of his his jeans because she's real" and "not a model," but then he dispatched her to a photo shoot where she was given the standard fantasy makeover that transformed her into a standard-issue model.Instead of "real," Riley looked real fake, just like any other model. And why did Anton hire photojournalist Jo Reynolds to shoot a campaign that looks like every ad, ever. (The returning Daphne Zuniga has a nice gig over on ONE TREE HILL, so she probably didn't need the work). When a half-naked Riley stormed off the set, it proved she has really big principles! But then again, Anton liked the photos (of course), so she'll take the $10,000 anyway?

Perhaps Riley's plot was a cliché for the same reason that her fiancé, Jonah, was dispatched to the famous Paramount Pictures lot to meet a megaproducer Andy, who "loved" everything about his film — and only wants to change everything! Oh, Hollywood, you're all the same!

Which is the problem. Everything about this MP is more of the same. Apparently the-powers-that-be are banking on the target audience of preteen girls being so young they have no frame of reference for a nighttime soap beyond 90210, GOSSIP GIRL and THE VAMPIRE DIARIES. Well, the legendary newspaperman H.L. Mencken famously noted, "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." (He didn't know from Nielsen ratings, though...)

Finally, I leave you with the laugh line of the night, courtesy of Colin Egglesfield's Auggie: "Riley, I don't know if you know this, but it's kind of impossible to hate you." Uh, no, it's not. It's actually quite easy to hate Riley. And her little show, too.

October 14, 2009
I've been sort of watching THE GOOD WIFE; I have it on so I can listen and occasionally glance at it while doing other things, but my colleague Mala has really been stumping for it, so I made the effort to pay attention to last night's episode — and was rewarded with an interesting story of suspected jury-tampering.

Alicia Florrick is the titular character; her state's attorney husband was jailed following a public sex scandal, and Alicia was seen grimly "standing by her man" at his press conference. Star Julianna Margulies is a very appealing actress who imbues the wronged wife with an amiability that really works. The show's premise is original, and Margulies runs with the character. Alicia shows more than a little vulnerability, but projects a facade of competence and dignity that keeps her from looking silly. The big question is obvious: How could she not know? Was she that oblivious? Was she just a stooge? Alicia asks herself those same probing questions with every home video and gift she reconsiders.

As a bonus, the-powers-that-be are able to find intriguing legal storylines to go with the interesting characters. Alicia has returned to her career as a lawyer and — surprise, surprise — she's pretty darn good at it. Her compassion for the victims in cases is often the key to victory. (Gee, wonder where that comes from?) But the cases also take lots of legwork, and luckily Alicia meshes well with "in house" investigator Kalinda Sharma (portrayed by British actress Archie Panjabi). Kalinda boasts a more streetwise, edgy persona. Alicia also works with Cary, despite the fact that actor Matt Czuchry (ex-Logan, GILMORE GIRLS) looks too young to be a law student, let alone a litigator. Margulies seems to have a real connection with LAW & ORDER vet Chris Noth, who plays her crooked, incarcerated hubby Peter. (Hey, what's not to like about SEX AND THE CITY's Big and ER's Carol Hathaway hooking up?) I like that Peter is still in the picture as a kind of Yoda peddling a jaded insider's view of the way the game is really played. Alicia resists the Dark Side because she wants to be...y'know, good.

October 13, 2009
I was all set to drop HEROES when, just in the nick of time, this week's episode turned out to be pretty good.

If HEROES was in the public consciousness at all, it was because this episode featured Hayden Panettiere's Claire getting kissed by her roommate Gretchen (played by CALIFORNICATION's Madeline Zima). So that happened — but in the context of the story, it was actually rather creepy, because Gretchen had been exhibiting stalkerish behavior, and her explanation was that she's "crushing" on Claire. I'm going to keep an eye on this plotline and see where they take it.

The story that made this week's episode memorable concerned Peter and Emma bonding when he absorbs her synesthesia power, enabling him to see sound as light. Ironically, this low-key plot contrivance actually made the show look more like a comic book than all the previous super-powered battles combined. The ability to see sounds aped the visual language of a comic book, where sound is represented by wavy vibration lines or onomatopoeia. HEROES showed Emma and Peter perceiving sound as a cloud of multicolored lights, and the two characters were able to connect on a deep (and quiet!) level. (Emma's power reminds me of X-Men's Dazzler, but she converts sound into light.) I definitely want to see where this relationship goes.

Meanwhile, Sylar was in Baltimore, getting the third degree from Ghostbusters' Winston Zeddemore — I mean, Ernie Hudson. Hudson played Warden Glynn on OZ, which was set in Baltimore. Sylar decided to kidnap his pretty therapist with the odd accent, just like Bruce Willis did in 12 Monkeys (which was also set in Baltimore). That led to the reveal that the Sullivan Brothers carnival can literally travel from place to place. Talk about a roadshow!

Finally, I leave you with the line of the week: "Great, I missed all the commercials." — Harry, MAD MEN

October 8, 2009
I think Wednesday night is the perfect time for Fox's GLEE. We all need a boost in the middle of week, and the Mckinley High gang is right there to offer some high-octane song-and-dance along with LOL lines. GLEE never fails to entertain me with its mixture of great music, vivid characters and raunchy comedy.

Even this week's slightly sub-par episode was still better than most of the rest of what's on the air. (Let's face it, last week's show, featuring that guest appearance by Kristin Chenoweth was a highlight of the fall season so far.) There were only two musical numbers this week, but they were doozies! The rest of the episode started to chip away at the harpy facade of Jessalyn Gilsig's Terri, hinting (but only hinting) at the humanity hidden (deep) below the surface. But at least Terri is an entertaining monster: Witness her obliviously handing out pseudoephedrine to the glee club while acting as school nurse. Terri's jealousy of Will's connection to mousy Emma really boosted the soap quotient. Terri and Ken teamed up to derail Will's friendship with Emma so they could claim the pieces for themselves. Boorish slob Ken and doe-eyed germophobe Emma are a riot together. His marriage proposal and her acceptance with (hilarious) conditions was pure soap opera! So is Quinn and Finn struggle with her unwanted pregnancy. AS THE WORLD TURNS is doing practically the same storyline right now! Only without the singing. Maybe that's what Liberty and co. need: a rousing rendition of "Don't Stop Believin." I know I sure believe in GLEE!

October 6, 2009
The unquestioned hero of HEROES right now is consulting producer Bryan Fuller, who wrote this week's episode, "Acceptance." Fuller's superpower appears to be the ability to grasp these characters and express what makes them great. He has a particular faculty for Noah/H.R.G. and Claire. Fuller wrote the legendary "Company Man" episode back in season one, which crystallized the previously mysterious H.R.G. and arguably made HEROES the breakout hit it (briefly) became. Fuller also deftly emphasizes the camaraderie of Hiro and Ando, making the pair believable buddies. In fact, I think Fuller has a firmer grip on these characters than even creator Tim Kring. (Fuller has imagination to spare: He also created WONDERFALLS and was an executive producer on PUSHING DAISIES.) I never like Tracy except in the stories Fuller has written (see "Cold Snap"). And he also delivered us from the ill-advised Sylar-in-Nathan-form plotline. Does this mean fans will not get to see Adrian Pasdar die in a season finale for once?

This week, I was initially on the fence as to whether I would even watch HEROES. The episode took a little time to build steam, so I was seriously considering abandoning it in favor of the Packers/Vikings football game. But then, something clicked — right around the time Noah and Claire were sharing bowls of cereal and discussing the possible application of bag-and-tag skills to selling lumber. That did it; I was roped back in. H.R.G. may be an ultracompetent field agent, but he's an all-too-human fish-out-of-water (er...so to speak) on the home front. I don't want to minimize the contributions of Jack Coleman here; when Noah told Peter that he just didn't have it in him to get tangled up in another adventure, I really believed him. Coleman meshes especially well with Hayden Panettiere, and H.R.G.'s scenes with his "Claire Bear" always feel like the most realistic relationship on the show (followed by Hiro/Ando). But Fuller is not merely the master of human scenes; he also excels at thinking through the implications of superpowers. Just because Hiro can travel back in time does not mean he can save a man from himself, as Hiro's funny/sad encounters with the hapless, hopeless Tadashi proved. I hope HEROES does not let Fuller escape.

September 30, 2009
It's a good thing that AS THE WORLD TURNS' Janet has volunteered to adopt Liberty's baby, because there may be more unsuitable parental units than Paul and Emily, but I'm having trouble imagining who. Neither Paul nor Em is known for sound, responsible — or even rational — decisions (hooking, anyone?), but Paul's history with children is particularly heinous. Can you imagine how extensively he had to lie on that adoption application to avoid being dismissed out of hand? The adoption agency must be well out of town to not have heard about Paul, the amazing dead/alive serial babynapper.

Liberty wanted Parker to attend the session to hear his opinions and, lo and behold, she actually asked him for his impressions of Paul and Emily, and listened to him. Okay, so Parker does not have the whole story about Paul, and his perceptions were understandably colored by Paul's friendship during that period when Carly fled the country with Simon. But he knew about Eliza being kidnapped by her loopy dad, and expressed concerns about it. However, he also should have tried to pin Emily down about Daniel, the son no one ever sees anymore. Parker would most likely know that Danny has been warehoused at boarding school, and with his own brother J.J. similarly off the canvas,

Viewers could sense that Liberty was going to make the soft-hearted (wrong) decision, but at least it came out of her character. Liberty noted how she hates talking about embarrassing developments in her own life, and was painfully reluctant to grill Emily about her past indiscretions — even though those "mistakes" included major felonies like kidnapping and attempted murder. But that's Liberty; she's full of empathy. Paul and Em, however, are full of...er, B.S.

September 29, 2009
I have figured out what's wrong with HEROES — at least as far as I'm concerned. The characters of HEROES are, with the exception of Hiro, obsessed with leading "normal" lives, lives that do not feature healing factors or mind-control. In other words, they aspire to lives of quiet desperation. Which is exactly the kind of lives most of the viewership is desperate to escape! The show and its fans are ships passing in the night, going in opposite directions. Most HEROES watchers imagine what it would be like to live an extraordinary life, rather than an existence defined by mind-numbing work and scrambling for paychecks. There's clearly a disconnect when the stories are striving to be low-key. Now, there's nothing wrong with wanting to tell stories that people can relate to. But how about relating to the best parts of them, the aspirational parts? Spider-Man's mantra is, "With great power comes great responsibility." Well, along with great power and responsibility comes the need for great stories, not pedestrian ones. Extraordinary characters call for extraordinary stories. The heroes may want to be "normal," but the stories should aspire to be more. Sure, Peter Parker is famous for wanting to get on with his life, including attending school and holding down a job, but sooner or later the Scorpion, or Venom shows up and puts Spider-Man through his arachnid-powered paces.

It is possible to tell stories about emotions and feelings people can relate to while using science fiction and fantasy as the conduit. That's what made BATTLESTAR GALACTICA so compelling: the stories were all about human conflict, but they were dramatized by people and robots and spaceships. BSG did not shy away from its milieu, it embraced it to tell stories in a way no other show could, using what was unique about its premise. Want to explore questions about parenthood? Tell a story about a Cylon that desires to have a baby. For the most part, HEROES is not using what makes it unique to tell compelling stories. "Claire has a nosy new friend" is not a story; it's a potential complicating factor within a story. "Peter wants to help people" is not a story; it's a potential motivation for a story.

HEROES has been plagued by routine: Either the powered folks are trying to stop someone from blowing up New York/the world, or struggling with vaguely-motivated "villains," or they're trying to deny their powers. It should not be hard to tell an involving story about Claire, the indestructible teenager. She cannot be killed, but she has myriad other vulnerabilities. And there are fates worse than death! The British series TORCHWOOD also features a character who cannot die, Capt. Jack Harkness. But TORCHWOOD is never boring, because Jack gets put through the wringer by problems that test his humanity as well as his immortality. (For example, he was buried underground for 2,000 years; constantly suffocating and reviving in an endless cycle. Who wouldn't prefer true death?) What does being unable to die do to the mindset of a young woman? The parallels for teenage alienation practically write themselves. And, until the-powers-that-be at HEROES apply their brainpower, they may have to…

September 25, 2009
Maxie's dream — make that nightmare — of domestic life after marriage on Friday's GENERAL HOSPITAL was hilarious. Everything made sense as exaggerated versions of her own fears and the criticisms of others. The specter of Spinelli morphing into a stone-cold mobster has kept Mac up nights. "Men of danger don't cave in the face of nagging wives," DreamSpinelli snarked while the children screamed and a stark-raving-mad Mac babbled. There was more than just Maxie's professional jealousy in the vision of Lulu becoming a fashion mogul; there was also personal jealousy, since Spinelli used to crush on "the original Blonde One." So it was only natural to envision being replaced by her in the fashion world — and in the Jackal's heart. Only one note rang false: Would fashionista Maxie really dress so shabbily? Then again, that was probably the point...she would be that far removed from her true self.

After Maxie woke up, she addressed Felicia's absence by noting that she convinced herself it was better to not even contact. Maxie also acknowledged late sister Georgie's love for Spinelli. The Jackal himself explained why his grandmother was skipping the nuptials: She used a bingo outing as a transparent excuse to avoid a union she did not believe would last. Poor Damien.

September 23, 2009
I promise, AS THE WORLD TURNS, I really am trying to suspend my disbelief for the story of Holden being imprisoned by Eb and Maeve in Kentucky. But the contrived circumstances just keep getting in the way.

The less said about the cardboard Eb, the better. He’s written as a lazy stereotype-cum-boogeyman. Hit him with a shovel, he just keeps coming! And the way Lily, Luke, Damian and co. have been coming to Kentucky in the blink of an eye, the entire Volunteer state might as well be a suburb of Chicago. Holden had numerous chances to disarm Eb, escape or even just cry out when a trooper came to the door. But no — time and again Holden made boneheaded choices that resulted in his quick recapture. (Note to Holden: Next time, take the gun with you!)

The Kentucky state troopers can’t even find a local accent, let alone any bodies, evidence or suspects. Remember how they let the wreckage of Holden’s vehicle burn at the foot of the cliff forever (apparently all the firefighters were otherwise engaged.) And when Damian refused treatment for his gunshot wound today, the EMTs packed up and walked away — leaving Mr. Grimaldi perched on their gurney. (Good luck getting your security deposit back without that, boys!) Time and again, Damian — a non-relative — was given confidential information. This is exactly the reason why privacy laws exist.

I know budget concerns preclude casting a crowd of emergency workers and elaborate sets, but clever writing can be accomplished on a budget without selling out believability.