April 8, 2009
I haven't seen a full episode of RESCUE ME since the fourth season concluded in September 2007. The nine mini-episodes broadcast last summer were fun, but only served to remind me what I was missing: an acid-tongued series packed with witty dialogue, outrageous storylines and thrilling fire sequences. Well, my friends, our wait is over. RESCUE ME has returned for a full-fledged fifth season, and star/co-creator Denis Leary was in top form as fractured firefighter Tommy Gavin. What makes Tommy such an intriguing character is the depths of his emotions. He loves and hates (but especially hates) with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. His burning rage is barely contained at the best of times — and Tommy rarely has good times. It seems like each episode of RESCUE ME brings him a fresh hell (complete with literal flames). What Tommy hates most is himself, but he expresses it as hatred for everything and everyone else. What other TV character could have a fantasy about attacking his own father's casket with an ax and then setting it afire at the funeral? Not even THE SHIELD's Vic Mackey could get away with that. But this series has always had a particularly vicious dark side. I was not surprised to see Franco and Sean talk Mikey out of donating his $150,000 inheritance to the cancer society so the boys can open a bar instead. (Franco's rationalization the the cancer society would only use the dough for postage to beg other people for more cash almost made it sound like a public service! Almost.) As usual, the boys at the 62 were thinking only of themselves. Yet, the search for redemption is a constant theme: Tommy's love/hate relationship with Alcoholics Anonymous clashes with his romance with booze on a daily basis. Take last night: Tommy has been sober for almost a solid year, but his AA sponsor, cousin Mickey, went on a bender! And not just any bender — he rampaged into a church and told a family that instead of baptizing their baby, they would be better off taking the kid home and drowning it! And he drank booze out of the communion chalice!

Of course there are huge problems in the interpersonal relationships. Tommy met ex-wife Janet's newest beau, a former "extreme sports" guy portrayed by Michael J. Fox. Ultimate nice guy Fox plays brilliantly against type as the smug Dwight; just wait until Tommy discovers why Dwight didn't stand up to shake hands with him! As if that wasn't bad enough, Tommy's daughter Colleen is sleeping with (but not having sex with) blackSean; wait until Tommy finds out about that! Leary capped the episode with Tommy's absolutely hilarious rant about how dead people (like his father) are reclassified as saints just because they died — even if they were a—holes in life (like his father).

The first thing I noticed about the first new episode of FRINGE since February was that it wasn't on! Instead, I had to sit through the end of an extended episode of AMERICAN IDOL. Worse, I heard Adam Lambert mangle "Mad World." He was attempting to riff on Gary Jules' version of the Tears for Fears tune recorded for the soundtrack of Donnie Darko, a film I adore. (If you've never seen it, rent it!) Simon gave the squealer a standing ovation, which could only mean Simon didn't like the movie. The phone number montage indicated that every performance last night was wretched. My hatred of "KARAOKE IDOL" now knows no bounds because the runover caused me to miss the end of FRINGE, because my recording stopped when it was supposed to. Is this hate irrational? Sure. But is this my blog? Yup. The second thing I noticed about the return of FRINGE was that the new promos trumpeted "six new episodes in a row." Sounds good — unless you remember that back in February, Fox promised us seven episodes in a row.

Anyway, FRINGE was eventually allowed on the air, and concerned the case of a mysterious boy discovered alone in a locked underground chamber. Only he might not be a "young" boy. For one thing, he seemed to be an empath of low-level telepath, which allowed him to plug into Olivia's mind and help her with a serial killer case. And for another, he looked like the Observer's Mini-Me: pale and hairless. (How funny was it that they dressed the boy in a "Northwestern" sweatshirt and took him to the Harvard campus?) Erik Palladino (late of the late ER) was introduced as Elliot Michaels, who claimed to be from the Department of Social Services, but was really from the Department of Creepiness. After seeing the boy, made a mysterious call and told someone, "We may have found another one." Is there some organization out there monitoring/collecting Observers?

•Line of the week honors go to Walter: "Unless you have an IQ higher than mine, I'm not interested in what you think."

HEROES is still managing to hold my interest, thanks to giving HRG stuff to do. I like that the-powers-that-be continue to write him as intelligent. He was the only one who was skeptical that Danko really bagged Sylar, and even used the shapeshifter's powers against him by pretending to be Sylar pretending to be him. Of course Sylar really is alive, and has set out to destroy Noah's life. The baddie morphed into the likeness of Sandra and served Noah with divorce papers, then pretended to be a field commander and let HRG "kill" him to make Noah a fugitive. I know I just complained about Fox's promos, but NBC did something even more unsavory: After a week of teasing/promising to reveal the origins of the Petrelli family, HEROES waited until literally the last minutes to set the stage for big revelations about something called Project: Icarus at a place called Coyote Sands. Next week. D'oh!

CASTLE was another agreeable story, but nothing extraordinary. And nothing really set it apart from last week's chapter, either, which actually is not a good thing. Is it settling into a rut already?

April 3, 2009
ER officially wrapped after 15 seasons this week, but for me the series ended six or seven years ago. (Whenever another editor mentioned ER, I could always be counted on to crack, "Is that show still on?") I lost interest in the revolving door staff and the numbing sameness of the cases, and sweeps stunts, etc. While all that may have been completely realistic, it failed to hold my attention. Plus, graphic depictions of medical procedures? Not my thing. I tuned in for the finale to see a sea of faces I knew only from promo spots dealing with the usual assortment of "colorful" ailments. And then who should appear but Oscar winner Ernest Borgnine — as a devoted husband who could not bear to let his terminally ill wife go — and GILMORE GIRLS' Alexis Bledel. She played another in the endless line of bright-eyes and bushy-tailed residents tossed into the ER meat-grinder. My advice: She should have directed her piercing blue eyes toward optometry instead of emergency medicine. Lots of familiar faces have been dropping in for self-conscious cameos, so the episode felt like a victory lap. But I have to admit the very last scene, with the phalanx of doctors ready to treat the victims of yet another disaster, nicely evoked the idea that "life goes on." I liked that "ending" much better than closing the hospital or some other grand gesture. The realistic ending was apropos.

SUPERNATURAL tread dangerously close to a certain kind of reality with a story in which the Winchester boys discovered that a writer was publishing their adventures as novels that had their own fan following. This introduced the boys to fandom and the myriad flavors of fanfic, including the erotic fiction that some segments of fandom produce. Note to SUPERNATURAL: There is such a thing as too meta. I know some folks who felt their toes were stepped on during all the shout-outs, but I personally enjoyed this episode a lot. Chuck Shirley, the novelist in question, turned out to be an honest-to-God prophet: one charged with delivering wisdom from on high by writing the books that will become known as the Winchester Gospels. That's why he knew so much about the brothers' adventures. A very similar story was done on STARGATE SG-1 in 2005: In "Citizen Joe," THE SIMPSONS' Dan Castellanetta (Homer) played Joe, a barber who experienced the adventures of SG-1 through their eyes and thought he was making up stories about fictional characters. An alien artifact was blamed for that psychic bond, not the word of God. The angel Castiel had a small but pivotal role this week, as he found a crafty way to thwart the Will of God without actually rebelling! And who thinks we will see an archangel by the season finale? We saw Dean actually pray for God to save Sam this week, so all bets are off. Consider this: Since Cass appeared after Dean asked for divine help, was the angel's archangel gambit actually the Will of God, as opposed to a subversion of it? Sure, it appeared that Cass was sent to tell Dean that no help was available for his brother... but it could have been a crafty plot. Folks are always saying the Lord works in mysterious ways...

April 2, 2009
Easily the best part of this week's LOST was Miles and Hurley's discussion of the mechanics of time travel. The sci-fi geek in me loved their back-and-forth, and could have listened to it for hours. (It's a long time until the next installment of DOCTOR WHO, people.) Miles maintained that traveling into the past does not cancel out the concept known as causality (which, simply put, means that an effect must follow its cause; it cannot happen first). Like most people, Hurley was hung up on the Back to the Future template: that if you mess up something in the past that would wipe out your existence, you would eventually fade out of existence. Miles advocated the more functional idea that tampering with the past creates a new version of the timeline. They were discussing Ben being shot in 1977 by Sayid. "That always happened," Miles said. "We just never experienced how it turned out." He meant that they had to live through these new events. Miles explained how Ben turning the Frozen Donkey Wheel altered time for them so that it was no longer a straight line. After a long argument, Hugo trapped Miles by pointing out that when Sayid first interrogated Ben, he didn't recognize Sayid and remember being shot by him as a child. I don't know why Miles conceded that point, because it actually bolsters his case: It meant that Ben's past (and future) also happened before the new "now," and Ben has to live through it to see how it turns out. Miles pointed out that are not immortal just because they are in the past; the same holds true for Ben.

Meanwhile (Does that word have meaning on LOST?), Kate's struggle to save young Ben's life led to flashbacks of what happened to Aaron. After the Oceanic 6 returned, Kate went to visit Cassidy, because Sawyer whispered to her that he wanted her to take care of his daughter, Clementine. Kate gave Cassidy some money, and grew close enough to the child over the ensuing three years to become known as "Auntie Kate." When Kate nearly let Aaron wander away in a supermarket, she was practically overcome with grief and worry that the boy would be taken away from her. Cassidy pointed out that the reason was because Kate had taken Aaron from Claire. So Kate went to Claire's mother, Carole, and told her that Aaron is her grandson and asked Carole to take care of him while Kate returned to the Island to search for Claire. So now we know why Aaron was not on Ajira Airways Flight 316 — and why Kate was, despite being so adamantly against going mere hours before. Jack was adamantly against operating on Ben, even to save his life. He pointed out that he already did that, 30 years from now. When Juliet demanded to know why he returned to the Island, he said, "because I was supposed to." Supposed to…what? He said he didn't know yet. Kate and Sawyer took the dying Ben to the Others, and Richard Alpert asked, "Is that Benjamin Linus?" immediately upon seeing him — as if he was expecting him. Richard agreed to heal young Ben, and took him to the mysterious Temple. Then, in 2008, the adult Ben woke up to face John Locke. "Hello, Ben," Locke said. "Welcome back to the land of the living."

LIFE ON MARS was all about a journey back as well last night, as the series ended its all-too-brief run. I liked what the-powers-that-be did in making the journey to 1973 a dream — but not the dream viewers were expecting. No, Sam Tyler was not in a coma after being hit by a car in 2008; he was actually an astronaut in hibernation aboard a spacecraft journeying to the planet Mars in the year 2035! The ship's computer, nicknamed Windy, created artificial "neuro-stim" environments to keep the astronauts' minds entertained on the long journey, but there was a malfunction in his program, and instead of allowing him to live as a cop in 2008, the glitch transported him to 1973, and the change of scenery was incorporated into the storyline of his dream. I say bravo for deviating so radically from the finale of the original British series. This sci-fi explanation worked in context of the American version, and was a worthy wrap for this quirky, fun series. It brought together all the disparate clues dropped along the way, from the frequent appearance of tiny robots, to Windy, to the recurrence of the name "Hyde" (which was "Sam Tyler's" real name in 2035), not to mention the idea that it took the show's name pretty literally. There was also a strong Wizard of Oz subtext, up to and including using the name "Frank Morgan" for the imaginary fed/real NASA boss who appeared as a floating head on the view screen. (Actor Frank Morgan played the Wizard/Prof. Marvel in the 1939 Oz.) In a more mundane real/reel-life connection, Dean Winters' bad dad, Vic, was shot dead, and Winters' Charley character was killed off TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES last Friday. So he went from having two jobs to zero jobs in less than a week. And ABC goes from starting the fall season with two off-beat, creative series (PUSHING DAISIES being the other) to zero in April. The network appears to be willing to try to fill the creative hole with the upcoming THE UNUSUALS, but it just won't be the same.

Fox is hanging on to its off-beat procedural LIE TO ME, and that's a good thing. In the course of investigating the suicides of a number of Indian immigrants, LIE TO ME revealed how Cal discovered the secret of microexpressions: He studied film of a woman who appeared to show no warning signs yet went on to kill herself. Cal slowed down the film a detected the split-second tells. Sadly (yet unsurprisingly), the patient was later revealed to have been Cal's own mother, and he has blamed himself ever since for not spotting her danger signals in time to save her. The Indian women in this case were suspected of suffering from postpartum depression of a slightly different stripe from GENERAL HOSPITAL's Robin. It was revealed they were victims of a con man who forced them to serve as surrogate mothers-for-hire, and were left humilated, penniless and childless. Cal got the all-important truth by once again feeding the baddie a lie that drew out a confession. Please, let's retire that little gambit for the rest of the season, okay? Let's also dial back on Cal's teen daughter who parents him (to the point of bringing a box lunch to the office because she knows he won't feed himself), because we've seen it enough already this season. And also, Rick's daughter does that same stuff on CASTLE, and that show is on first, Mondays at 10.

April 1, 2009
It's April Fool's Day once again, but I'm not the type to post outrageous made-up junk and then laugh that I fooled people with a rumor on the Internet. That's just a waste of time. You'll get from me what you always get: My honest opinion of what I've been watching lately...

After watching THE MENTALIST for quite some time, the show finally included some mental…. er, stuff! Jedi mind tricks at last! Hypnosis was basis of this week's crime, and although it was easy enough to figure out that a hypnotist had mesmerized someone else into committing a crime, it was not easy to figure out which hypnotist did it, because so many people turned out to be trained. In any event, I enjoyed seeing the mechanics (and myths) of hypnosis worked into the storyline. Poor Rigsby (played by the hulking Owain Yeoman, late of WITHOUT A TRACE, so I have to ask: Does Vanessa Marcil (ex-Brenda, GENERAL HOSPITAL) have more to do than just look sexy as Eric Close's girlfriend? Because this episode just reminded me of her role in The Rock.

GOSSIP GIRL's Eric pointed out that the Humphrey breakfast scene — everyone gathered in the kitchen to nosh while talking about their upcoming busy days and then rushing off — smacked of a sitcom. Me, I was reminded of an old teen soap that GG exec producer Josh Schwartz is mighty familiar with. (I won't mention a name, but its initials are O.C.) Chuck Bass was back on familiar ground, setting up Vanessa to catch Blair leaving Nate's place. Then he told Blair that Nate was still dating Vanessa. I prefer this trouble-making version of Chuck to the lovesick puppy who brought Blair flowers in previous weeks. This is the Chuck who wanted to post a sex tape with Vanessa on the Internet to get back at B. and Nate. He settled for snogging Vanessa in front of them instead. Well, as far as we know he settled; he did share his bed with V., so it remains to be seen what else he might share with the net. Chuck's machinations even brought us a glimpse of the wicked old Blair, who reacted to the news that Nate had dumped Vanessa by asking, "Was it awful?" with a hopeful gleam in her eye.

Globe-trotting socialite Poppy Lifton didn't quite view things so favorably when she blew back into town and pointed out that Serena is in exactly the same place as the last time she visited. Sure, that made it easy for Poppy to catch up, but also made the show sound like it's standing still. Which it kind of is; there's been lots of sound and fury, but Serena is still status quo. She's not quite the same person who broke up and made up with her high school boyfriend and feuded with her frenemy last season, but she's still doing virtually the same thing. Poppy was once again played by Tamara Feldman (ex-Natalie, DIRTY SEXY MONEY), and she introduced a her (extremely tall) new boyfriend Gabriel, played by Armie Hammer (who can be seen on REAPER this season as Morgan, the son of the devil). Poppy encouraged Serena to break out of her rut by hosting a bash for Jenny's birthday. The problem was, Little J did not want a fancy, catered Sweet 16 party, like S. and Lily had planned. Too bad. Birthdays are not about what the celebrant wants; birthdays are about the party that others want to throw. So Serena leaped into action — and mortified poor Jenny with a society soiree. "I liked my social grave," Jenny sighed. "I dug it myself." But S. was adamant, even when Jenny complained, "I didn't want this." Well, Little J may not have started it, but she did her best to finish it by posting it online at Gossip Girl and flooding the joint with so many kids that the cops showed up.

HEROES' Claire and Nathan were on the run from authorities in Mexico. As part of the night's theme, Claire spent time with her biological father while Peter came to understand more about his mother in New York. Claire must have gotten a haircut as a disguise, since Hayden Panettiere's bangs make her look a lot older. Nathan was initially funny as he tried to assure her that he was still in control and win survival money in a drinking game with frat boys. He almost won, but passed out. Then Claire stepped up to challenge the winner — by taking off her shirt and downing 22 consecutive shots of tequila. Needless to say, she drank the party boy under the table in no time. Back in their seedy motel room, Claire told her daddy that her tissue-regeneration power clears her liver — which may be true, but of course is not the reason she doesn't get drunk; she stays sober because her dead brain cells regenerate. But she can be forgiven for that mistake, since she hasn't spent much time in school lately. The next morning, Nathan was sober in more ways than one: He admitted he had overreached with this anti-powers campaign and was now in over his head. And that, like many an absentee father, he was trying to win her affection with presents — in her case, a "Get Out of Concentration Camp Free" card. But like an adult, he vowed to take responsibility and clean up his mess. Meanwhile, in New York, Angela seemed to think it might be too late to clean up her mess. Still, she resolved to try — and needed her sister's help to do it. Sister? How big is this family?

Uncharacteristically, this episode used a couple of old songs, Del Shannon's "Runaway," and The Animals' "We Gotta Get Out of This Place," to nice effect. Usually HEROES just relies on the musical talent of Wendy Melvoin and Lisa Coleman — otherwise known as Wendy and Lisa of Prince's Revolution fame.

Oh, and did I mention that Sylar gained shape-shifting powers and people think he's dead? I should mention that. (But I don't think HRG was fooled; he is The Man, after all...)

March 26, 2009
I know this week's episode of LOST was titled "He's Our You," but I'll think of it as "The Kool-Aid Episode," and it represented a return to form after last week's sub-par effort. Oh-yeeeaahh! A Sayid-centric episode, it answered a lot of questions about how he ultimately ended up in handcuffs on Flight 316 in the custody of Ilana (Zuleikha Robinson). To wit: She's a bounty hunter, and he fell for the oldest trick in the book when he mistook her for a practitioner of the world's oldest profession. He let his guard down, and got a boot in the face! We also peered into Sayid's past, and learned that as a child, he proved adept at killing chickens. (Say, isn't that the classic warning sign of a serial killer? Or in Sayid's case, a mass murderer.) In 1977, 12-year-old Ben was already adept at manipulating: He told the imprisoned Sayid that he could help — but only if Sayid is patient. Ben gave him a chicken-salad sandwich (presumably made from a different chicken than the one Sayid killed, but this is LOST) and a book called A Separate Reality, by Carlos Castaneda. The flashbacks also revealed Sayid completing his mission to wipe out the Widmore agents Ben claimed were threatening the Oceanic 6. "I'm not what you think I am," Sayid told Ben. "I don't like killing." Later, he told the younger Ben, "You were right about me. I am a killer." Then he iced the kid! True, Sayid was crying, so I guess that proves he's not a stone-cold killer, but he is damn good at it. I give LOST full marks for pulling off that shock ending, but I'm not buying any funeral bouquets for Mr. Linus. Ben is destined to be a leader, so I'm sure the Island will heal him.

So, what did I mean with that Kool-Aid remark? I mean that in this episode, Sawyer and Sayid fully embraced and committed to their roles. Sawyer is dedicated to his LaFleur persona and interrogated Sayid himself in order to stress that he has made a "pretty good" life for himself with the DHARMA Initiative, and he cannot compromise his position merely to save the life of his friend. When LaFleur voted to execute Sayid, it marked a major departure for Sawyer; the former lone grifter was now part-and-parcel of a society. He had, in fact, drunk the DHARMA Kool-Aid and quite literally (as security chief) become The Man.

Sawyer did try to give Sayid one last chance to escape, but Sayid decided he could not leave. He had to stay in that cell because he finally grasped his purpose on the Island. Sayid drank the Island Kool-Aid, much like Locke did in the first season. Later, Ben took advantage of a flaming VW microbus to set Sayid loose. Ben wanted to be taken to the Hostiles, whom he called "your people." Sayid noted, "That's why I'm here." Well, Ben certainly was taken away from the barracks, LOL. But, as I said, despite being shot through the heart, I'm sure Ben will be back.

In other developments:
•The episode title refers to Oldham, the DHARMA "interrogation" specialist. Sawyer/LaFleur tells seasoned torturer Sayid, "He's our you." Oldham was played by William Sanderson, last seen as Sheriff Dearborne on TRUE BLOOD and E.B. Farnum on DEADWOOD, but he will always be Blade Runner's tinkerer, J.F. Sebastian. Oldham's m.o., though, could not be more different from Sayid's. Instead of physical torture, Oldham simply served Sayid a drug (presumably LSD) to remove his inhibitions. The doped-up Sayid answered truthfully — he's not a Hostile; he came on a plane; he'd been on the island before; and he knew about the stations and everyone's impending deaths because, "I am from the future" — but the truth was so ridiculous, it was too hard to believe.
•Juliet believed that her time "playing house" with Sawyer was over since Jack and Kate were back. But he insisted their relationship was real. When Kate later confronted Juliet, they were all-too-civilized — a clear disappointment to catfight fans everywhere.

LIFE ON MARS was clearing the decks in preparation for next week's series finale, which means tying off story threads in Sam Tyler's life in 1973. First of all, Ray and Chris survived their shooting last week (Ray got off easy; Chris had a rougher time of it), while Hunt, Tyler and the boys went on the warpath. Villain Jimmy McManus was murdered by cop, and - wouldn't you know it — Sam was framed for the crime. The storyline planted some seeds for next week's finale, with Morgan providing a possible explanation for Sam's presence in 1973 as well as a possible route back to 2008. Of course, he might have been lying — or Sam may have been imagining certain events and people. (Windy, anyone?) C'mon, nanobots? We shall see. We did see a great episode for Gretchen Moll, whose Annie sat vigil by Chris' bed and delivered a soulful prayer for her co-workers' safety. Later, Moll and Jason O'Mara (Sam) got to share a terrific, really emotion scene, when Annie expressed her belief on Sam's innocence. The sequence was full of unspoken sentiment, and the performances were wonderfully understated. With the series unfortunately canceled, I wanted to take a moment to praise not only the period songs used on the soundtracks (which are uniformly terrific and evocative of the time; listen to tonight's "Satellite of Love" by Lou Reed) but the weekly scores written by Peter Nashel. His incidental music was, week in and week out, a wonderful pastiche of 1970s cop show music — heavy on the bass, bongos and horns. Nashel has rotten luck with series, though; he also scored DIRTY SEXY MONEY. Don't worry, Peter, you will definitely work again.

March 23, 2009

"Earth is a dream." —Bill Adama

This was the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA series finale I was dreaming about: a near-perfect payoff; my reward for carefully watching this intricate, challenging story for years. The Lords of Kobol gave us the perfect capstone; an ending that complements the beginning and middle of an often-surprising, consistently entertaining series. This will be remembered for 150,000 years. There was near-perfect symmetry in the series: The story began with the Cylons attacking the 12 Colonies and very nearly wiping out humanity; it ended with the humans attacking the Cylon Colony, and probably wiping out the humanoid models. The ancient battlestar, Galactica, was scheduled to be scrapped when the miniseries began; it was literally melted down in our sun (accompanied by the 1978 theme music) at the end. In the beginning, Cylons tried to destroy Galactica; in the end, the Five helped save it. The dream of the Opera House — first seen in the season one finale — was literally acted out in the corridors of Galactica in the series finale. Baltar and Six embraced the roles dictated by destiny — excuse me, God. Heck, everyone embraced their prophesied roles. Religion itself, which has been a driving force throughout the series, was finally validated with the reveal that Virtual Six and Virtual Baltar were, indeed, angels — or at least agents of God. ("You now it doesn't like that name," Angel Baltar chided. LOL) But what the hell was Starbuck? Most likely an angel as well. She fulfilled her destiny as the "harbinger of doom" by leading mankind to the dead husk of the original Earth, but resurrected and delivered humanity to the promised land at last. And "dying leader" Laura Roslin actually got to see it happen.

I know, I'm just gushing, but can you blame me? The double-size episode had just about everything: action, romance, friendship, betrayal, sacrifice, heroism, cowardice, life, death, love, hate and revelation. And the renewal of hope. There's too much to talk about so, by your command, I'll try to organize it all with bullet points.

•The character backstories were completed. We learned how Laura ended up in politics, why Lee enlisted and why Adama was being put out to pasture with his ship. Speaking of his ship, when the old man did took his final flight, he was flying his old personal Viper (callsign "Husker") — the one Tyrol and the deckhands gave him as a retirement present in the very first episode. So he finally got to fly it.

•I liked Lee's idea to abandon technology: "We break the cycle. Leave it all behind and start over." However, it was a choice I could never make. I wonder if any of the other 39,000+ survivors resented going native?

•Since the Sixes and Eights stayed on Earth, the Ones, Fours and Fives were left with no female Cylons, so unless they were able to figure out the secret of resurrection from the bits that were transmitted to the Colony, all the Cavils, Simons and Dorals died out. I presume there might have been a handful of Sharons left scattered on a few surviving basestars, but the chances of conceiving children "naturally" were too remote to save the race. Did you notice that the Colony was guarded by old-school, 1978-vintage Centurions? But I heard nary a "By your command." Let's hope giving the modern Centurions the basestar convinced them not to try build humanoid models again. "All this has happened before," Angel Six noted. "But does it all have to happen again," Angel Baltar responded. Does it, indeed?

•Dr. Gaius Baltar, the man who betrayed the human race, got a happily-ever-after. He got live on a lush new world with his beloved Caprica Six because it turned out he wasn't evil (or just weak) — he was just playing his role in God's plan. Virtual Six assured him all along that he was playing a pivotal role in God's grand scheme, and now we know she was serious. When Cavil held Hera at gunpoint, he demanded to know, "How do you know God's on your side?" Baltar answered that God isn't on anyone's side. "God's a force of nature, beyond good and evil."

•The quiet way Laura slipped away while watching the animals and listening to Bill jabber was touching. I was so glad he got to say goodbye to the people who mattered to him. The final exchange of his signature greeting with Starbuck — "What do you hear, Starbuck?" "Nothing but the rain." "Then grab your gun and bring in the cat." — was the same thing they said when we first saw them in the very first episode of the miniseries.

•When Bill ordered Kara to jump the ship without the rendezvous coordinates, she moaned, "There must be some kind of way out of here." I'll bet that was the precise moment you thought of the mathematical formulae Kara made from Hera's music. After delivering the ragtag fleet to paradise, Kara said goodbye to Lee and simply evaporated. "I've completed my journey," she said. "It feels good."

Just like watching this episode felt good. After such a long journey, it's good to finally reach your destination and relax. Executive producer Ronald D. Moore, who shepherded this reimagining of the series to TV, rewarded himself by playing the man reading the National Geographic at the end of the episode. It's good to be the boss. And even though the series is over, it's a frakkin' good time to be a fan of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. So say we all!

March 20, 2009
This week's installment of SUPERNATURAL was a game-changer in the war between the angels and the demons. And that's not just hyperbole — the plot really was changed by the shocking revelation that the demon hordes were not responsible for the murders of a half-dozen angels. It was one of their own! Heaven drafted Dean Winchester (DAYS's Jensen Ackles) because they needed him to go where angels fear to tread — both literally and figuratively. For example, he and brother Sam (GILMORE GIRLS's Jared Padalecki) were able to enter a building that barred angels with magic, and this week Dean was asked to torture the captive Alistair. Castiel wanted Dean to extract the secret of the angel murders. Resorting to torture was bad enough, but the act required Dean to call upon skills for inflicting pain that he honed in Hell. And that meant confronting the shame of what he did. Dean agreed to become a tormenter in order to curtail his own suffering. When fallen angel Anna questioned how God could possibly want Dean to torture a captive, Castiel insisted, "He's doing God's work." But the way Misha Collins played the line, Castiel did not believe it. Can torture ever be a good thing? (Hey, that's the same question 24 has been asking all season.)

Even as Dean was accessing horrible parts of his past, Sam was giving in to his thirst for demon blood. The devil juice has been supercharging Sam, but can those tainted powers really be used for good? That's pretty much the same question Dean was wrestling with. But regardless of whether he can control it, Sam's power is awesome: Where Dean's torture fell short, Sam's psi powers forced Alistair to confess that the demons were not murdering angels ; they were just taking advantage of the situation. Then Sam actually killed Alistair — a shocking move that put the fear of God (so to speak) into Cass! And that set Castiel to thinking... and then figuring out that his partner, Uriel, had betrayed him. "The only thing that can kill an angel is another angel," Uriel growled, revealing that he was jealous of God's love for humanity. So Uriel put in motion a plan to bring about the Apocalypse, which would raise Lucifer and burn the Earth to a cinder. And Castiel was worried about having doubts about God's plan before! Dean was similarly devastated to learn his true role in the angels' game: He set the Apocalypse in motion when he gave in to his dark side in Hell. Dean was consumed with guilt that his weakness was going to bring about the end of the world. But — in exactly the kind of irony that always happens with mystical prophecies — the man who started the Apocalypse is the only one who can stop it. Castiel realized he needed Dean, and noted, "It's not blame that falls on you, Dean. It's fate. You have to stop it."

I have given SUPERNATURAL major kudos before for tackling questions of Good and Evil, and...wow, the show is not flinching at really delving deeply into the subject. I am astonished that they are so directly addressing the topic of God's policy of non-interference in the affairs of Earth. Is God still interested in us little people? The God on the show appears to allow dissent in the ranks of the heavenly host, and even let Uriel commit murder! Which is another brave move: depicting an angel — one cited in the Hebrew Bible and painted by Leonardo da Vinci, no less — as defying his Father. Yes, Uriel is often used in literature (See John Milton's Paradise Lost for one example.), but it's definitely a bold move for TV. And what about the heroic angels — Castiel is depicted as doubting God and seriously mulling disobedience. And Cass was rescued from Uriel's wrath by Anna — a fallen angel! SUPERNATURAL has not been so daring as to portray God himself. Yet. Maybe they're just holding something back for the season finale. Talk about a "special guest star"!

March 19, 2009
Hmmm, this installment of LOST was not my idea of the one to return with following a two-week hiatus. After the initial excitement of the plane's crash-landing, I found the rest of the episode very slow-moving. Yes, I was very interested to see how Sawyer ... I mean, LaFleur, would protect his friends and integrate them into DHARMA — not to mention 1977 — but it was all just dragged out too long. This is not to say that we didn't get information we wanted/needed; not everyone was sent back to 1977 — and not everyone was on the main island!

It made dramatic sense that not everyone would slip onto the Island under the radar (so to speak). Sayid came to the attention of the paranoid Radzinsky, who feared that Sayid was a spy sent to gather intelligence on the Swan station (which hadn't been built yet). Remember, the Swan was the original "Hatch," and the site of the electromagnetic experiments. Perhaps it was this sort of conspiracy-minded thinking that would compel Radzinsky to draw the Blast Door Map. Radzinsky and Phil were two of those annoying characters that are always invented to be suspicious whenever other characters are undercover. There was no real reason for Phil to be suspicious of Kate from the moment he saw her, or to eye Jack with concern. Radzinsky insisting on accompanying LaFleur to bring in Sawyer also made no sense. Why was he so willing to walk away from the Flame, a post he was previously so paranoid about protecting that he didn't want fellow DHARMA employee Jin to touch any buttons? Wouldn't he be more likely to stay at the communications station and defend it from any more "Hostiles" like Sayid? These plot-contrivance characters really burn up my willing suspension of disbelief. It's a fake way to build suspense, and represents lazy writing. (Gee, how many times can one say that about LOST?) One constant — and valid — criticism of the show is its difficulty introducing new characters, and that problem sadly remains. I do not like the abrasive Caesar at all, and while Ilana is a mystery, I don't like her tendency to fall in line behind Caesar. I wonder if LOST is attempting to parallel the Jack/Kate dynamic from the first season, but with a non-benevolent leader. Of course, that brings up the question of exactly how benevolent Jack was. Sawyer pointedly contrasted his own leadership style — think, then act — with Jack's stewardship of the the Losties, which saw him always reacting. Swayer's growth has been pretty remarkable. The one-selfish, solitary con man James Ford has developed into Jim LaFleur, a thoughtful leader who puts the interests of others ahead of himself — even when there's nothing immediate in it for him. Imagine that! (Of course he's still not perfect; he has no intention of warning the DHARMA folk about the impending 1992 Purge by poison gas.) I am also imagining what will happen next week: Will Sayid be tempted to kill the young Ben? I really hope he realizes what a bad idea that would be because it would wreak untold havoc on the timestream! Ben has touched (and outright tampered with) so many lives that the repercussions would be incalculable. Uh-oh, sounds like I just made a case for the-powers-that-be at LOST to do the dirty deed! Frankly, I have a feeling Sayid might try to cap geeky Young Ben, but that the Island will rise up protect Ben. And oh yeah — what happened to Faraday? Did he leave?

Speaking of leaving, LIFE ON MARS will not be with us much longer. ABC has canceled the series, and there are only two more episodes left. But at least last night's was a good one. Jennifer Ferrin (ex-Jennifer, AS THE WORLD TURNS) was back as Sam's mother, Rose, and Paige Turco (ex-Lanie, ALL MY CHILDREN) guested as Colleen, the sister of sadistic Irish gangster Jimmy — portrayed by Peter Greene, played ax-wielding Irish gangster Dokey on THE BLACK DONNELLEYS. Colleen liked to do tarot card readings with young Sam. I don't want to go off into a long tangent here, but I have to say this: Colleen's interpretations were spot-on accurate. We only saw her talk about two cards — the Ace of Pentacles and The Tower — but she knew her stuff. Bravo, LIFE ON MARS! Still, as interesting as all that was, I was most intrigued by Tyler's reticence to interact with his younger self at all. I understand all the "Butterfly Effect" talk, but why did Tyler get so emotional when confronted with his younger self? His eyes fill with tears, and he refused to talk to the boy — heck, he could barely look at him/himself. (Bravo to Jason O'Mara for tearing up on cue!) What is he so afraid of telling himself? Basically, everything. Sam realized that with just a few words he could change anything and everything; he could avoid years of pain and bad experiences. But that same power could accidentally ruin something, too, so he had resolved not to say anything. However, by the end of the episode, Colleen had convinced him to step up. Tyler chose to try to head off his most serious psychological damage by telling his young self that sometimes people just leave; it's not his fault. As Tyler pictured himself through the years and imagined what he could tell himself about the pain that awaits, he found the strength to resist.

March 17, 2009
The occasion of the senior play was an excuse for GOSSIP GIRL to pile on references to classic novels (yes, books) like The Age of Innocence, Cyrano de Bergerac, The Great Gatsby, and films like The Graduate and Eyes Wide Shut. (Don't laugh. Stanley Kubrick himself reportedly considered EWS, completed just four days before his death in 1999, to be his greatest film.) So watching the episode was almost like taking a class. A class for models. The plot had the kids staging a performance of The Age of Innocence, with events at Constance Billard School for Girls paralleling the characters/situations in the Edith Wharton book. Toss in Rachel serving as Dan's "Mrs. Robinson" (even though her portrayer, Laura Breckenridge, looks about 5 years younger than Penn Badgley) and Chuck pursuing Elle, and the episode was practically a pop-culture quiz. Rachel was forbidden from seeing Dan and ostracized by the other teachers, just like in the 19th century New York society of Wharton's book. Dan was reduced to passing Rachel notes (Really? He couldn't text her? Oh, I forgot, they didn't have Twitter in the 1870s.) Meanwhile, Blair's fall from grace with Yale allowed her to relate to her character, Countess Olenska. Nate conveniently played Beaufort, the dashing gentleman whose family lost its fortune. (Typecast much, Julian?) Even GOSSIP GIRL's usual weekly romantic misunderstanding was classed up by having Nate jump to the wrong conclusion after seeing Vanessa's Cyrano act. (BTW, Marty Scorsese's adaptation of Innocence really is, as Nate observed, heartbreaking. Rent it.)

I decided to check in on 24 this week and, no surprise, Jack was running around, growling about killing people and and generally trying to convince someone that there are traitors in the government (again). Why, oh why, will no one in power believe Jack? He's been battling terrorists and exposing traitors in the White House one day at a time for years. You cannot even argue that Jack's previous missions might have been classified; people like the president's chief of staff would have access to that intelligence. To me, that general lack of faith in Jack requires the biggest suspension of disbelief. That people would willingly convince themselves that this time Jack has gone off the rails and is lying...that is infinitely more silly than believing in private armies armed with WMD and doomsday gadgets on U.S. soil. How cool was it that Sebastian Roché's (Jerry, GENERAL HOSPITAL) character, Quinn, got to fight Jack Bauer? The next time I talk to Sebastian the first thing I'm going to say is, "Dude, you got killed by Jack frakkin' Bauer! How cool was shooting that?" Kiefer Sutherland got another one of those scenes he demands every season, where Jack gets to take a breath and emote. Here, Jack expressed regrets about wife Teri, about his daughter Kim, "and that the world even needs people like me." Well, we certainly need Jack (and Kiefer) on TV.

This was only the second episode of CASTLE to air, yet the show already feels like it has settled into a groove — for better or worse. Kate seems a little too familiar with Rick so soon in their relationship; it's almost as if this episode was filmed later in the production schedule, after Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic have had more time to get accustomed to each other. In fact, the relationship between the characters reminded me of BONES more than MOONLIGHTING last night, perhaps because Katic bears a slight resemblance to Emily Deschanel. (Well, from a distance, at least.) and that same sort of winking attitude. This particular episode also reminded me a lot of soaps, since YOUNG AND RESTLESS's Michael Graziadei guested as Brent, the suspicious ex-boyfriend of a nanny who was found murdered and stuffed into a dryer. Sarah Drew (Kitty, MAD MEN; ex-Hannah, EVERWOOD) appeared as Chloe, a fellow nanny. There was also another daytime shout-out: After complaining that his own nanny spent her time drinking and watching soaps instead of raising him, Castle acknowledged that he got the plot for his first novel from watching ONE LIFE TO LIVE. (Nudge-nudge, wink-wink!) I like how Rick "investigates" cases by thinking about what would make a "good story" — thus leading the police to consider someone other than the obvious, lazy suspects. Fillion's Rick also got off the best line of the entire night, while suggesting that Kate should get married: "You'd be good at it. You're both controlling and disapproving."

March 16, 2009
KINGS is NBC's ambitious new series about a mythical land called Gilboa, the capital of which looks a lot like Manhattan with some extra CGI skyscrapers. Gilboa is ruled by good King Silas. Ian McShane (ex-Al Swearengen, DEADWOOD) is a commanding presence even without a crown, but I kept waiting for him to unleash one of Swearengen's patented expletive-laced tirades. Silas is the kind of benevolent monarch who doesn't like to leave crowds of admiring subjects shivering in the cold, waiting for one of his extemporaneous speeches. He's old-fashioned enough to be embarrassed to the point of homophobia by a gay son, but modern enough to be a puppet of the military-industrial complex — personified by his conniving brother-in-law, William. Silas also has a mistress and (in the best tradition of soaps) a secret son. Susanna Thompson (ex-Karen, ONCE & AGAIN) plays his official consort with quite a bit more humanity than she showed as the Borg Queen on STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION. The story turns on young soldier David Shepherd rescuing Prince Jack from the enemy. (He's like a shepherd rescuing a lost lamb, get it?) He did this by facing down an enemy tank dubbed "Goliath." And yes, the newspaper headlines read "David vs. Goliath." Unfortunately, that's about the level of subtlety in the entire two-hour premiere. The hero was handsome and square-jawed; Princess Michelle was beautiful and worried about health care for her people (especially the children!); and political intrigue oozed from myriad LCD TV screen. I like this sort of thing a lot better when it's happening on THE TUDORS (but that Showtime series doesn't return until April 8), because I just can't wrap my head around a modern monarchy. At least a king that actually functions as head of state instead of serving as a figurehead. I figure I'll watch again if KINGS is still around after THE AMAZING RACE is over.

Speaking of the 8 o'clock start time, the gloves came off on THE AMAZING RACE 14 after Margie and Luke U-Turned the eliminated duo last week; Luke is now "the sinister deaf kid." In 2009, everything is political, so I leave it to the deaf community to deal with Luke's refusal to read lips, but I would suggest it's a good thing that he could be viewed as a "villain," just like any other racer. This week, the teams were rushin' across Russia, and drove a snow plow and ran a mile in their underwear. (Yeah, I didn't know that was an authentic "Russian" activity, either.) But it was fun to watch. As a thong-clad Christie noted, "I knew it would be bare minimum, but I didn't know it would be my bare minimum!" She and Jody...er, brough up the rear, but they were not eliminated; instead, next week they will be penalized by runnig a "Speed Bump" — an extra task that might make them finish last again, and get bounced.

BREAKING BAD managed to bump up the paranoia and fear this week, with Walt and Jesse prisoners of the increasingly erratic Tuco. If you've been watching, you understand just how frightening the concept of an "increasingly erratic Tuco" is. In the pressure-cooker of Tuco's safe house, the drug lord prepared to drag his top cookers to Mexico. Meanwhile, the guys tried to figure out how to kill Tuco with the ricin Walt had prepared. Unfortunately, merely touching the poison didn't kill him fast enough, so what followed a tense series of near-misses in which Tuco nearly ingested the toxin, only to be saved at the last second. But his last seconds still arrived, courtesy of DEA agent Hank, who tracked Tuco down and gunned him down. The interesting revelation here is that Jesse believes Walt is as good as dead from the lung cancer. He believed Walt should have been willing to risk what's left of his life to take out Tuco. From now on, Walt should regard Jesse with even more suspicion than usual.

Part One of the three-part series finale of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA began the endgame by taking viewers back to the beginning — actually, before the beginning — for a glimpse life on Caprica before the Fall. (Not everyone lived on Caprica, which is why we only saw stories involving Laura, Bill, Kara, Lee and Baltar/Six. Tyrol and Sharon were on Picon, for example.) The peek was devoted to showing what our friends were doing before their civilization was destroyed. In a way, Laura's world ended when her father and sisters were killed by a drunken driver (different planet; same problems). Contrast that with Gaius Baltar's alcohol-fueled encounter with Six in the back of a limousine. Clearly, he had just met her, and was so manic and distracted (by, among other things, his father, Julius, who was suffering from dementia) that it was understandable how she would be able to manipulate him. We also got to see Lee introduced to Kara by her boyfriend, his brother Zak (a character played in the original series by a young Rick Springfield, who is now GENERAL HOSPITAL's Dr. Noah Drake).

Aboard Galactica in the present:
•An imprisoned Tyrol (He unwittingly helped Boomer kidnap Hera.) told Karl that all the Sharons are alike because, "We made them the same." But Karl insisted Athena was different. Well, Cavil was certainly convinced that Karl and Athena's child, Hera, was different. At the Colony, Cavil coldly resolved to dissect the child and determine what made the "half-human, half-Cylon curiosity" tick. A Simon was eager to start the operation, and a Doral seemed to be in agreement, but Boomer was (of course) against destroying the miracle child.
•Kara told Bill she found her body on Earth and burned it, and as a consequence, "I don't know what I am." He looked at her and said, "I know what you are. You're my daughter. Don't forget it." Then he had her plug in Anders so he could ask the makeshift Hybrid how to find the Colony. Later, Bill resolved to lead the decaying Galactica on one last (one-way) mission against the Colony. Ironically, we saw Lee Adama ram the Battlestar Pegasus into a basestar back in Season 3's Exodus, Part II. When the Old Man asked for volunteers to crew the suicide mission, Galactica's command staff, Bill and Tigh, as well as civilian leaders President Roslin and Vice President Lee, join the mission; Ellen claimed the Five would go on the mission. So who will be in charge of the fleet/rebel Cylons? Can the Quorum govern without a strong leader? Perhaps Baltar believes he can fill the power vacuum. Paulla claimed that Baltar's followers control more than 50 percent of the ships in the fleet. Earlier, Virtual-Six had told Baltar, "The End Times are approaching. Humanity's final chapters are about to be written, and you will be its author." Sounds like a mandate from the Gods, right? Also earlier, Lee accused Baltar never having acted in an altruistic manner — of never having done anything that didn't benefit him directly. Then, just a couple of hours later, Gaius got a chance to sacrifice himself for the survival of humanity and... he slinked into the shadows, letting others step up. Oh, Baltar... At the opposite end of the spectrum, Bill had to bar Doc Cottle from volunteering, because the fleet could not afford to lose a doctor. Based on info from Anders, Racetrack and Skulls were aent to locate the Colony: it was hidden in an asteroid field, and perched on the accretion disc of a black hole. An "accretion disc" is otherwise known as an "event horizon," and is the visible matter being sucked into a black hole (which is invisible). Think of it like water spiraling down a drain. The Colony's clever placement allows for only one possible approach, which will be heavily guarded. Good thing master strategists/tacticians Kara and Lee are on the case! If anyone can get Galactica close, those two can. Next time: a special two-hour block wraps up the series.

Will there be a "next time" for DOLLHOUSE ? This is still a show that I want to like more than I do — not just because I'm a big fan of Joss Whedon and Eliza Dushku, but because I see a lot of potential in the premise of agents who minds and abilities are programmable based on their missions. The possibilities really are limitless, but I fear the conventions of TV will demand a lot of "shoot 'em up" adventures that will all blend together. Take this week's installment, in which Echo was programmed to be blind in order to infiltrate a reclusive religious cult with a charismatic leader. (How ironic that in this, Echo's least-sexy assignment, Dushku has never looked prettier.) I found that plot highly intriguing, yet by the end of the episode, the ATF had predictably invaded and the compound was on fire. I wonder if the show will be allowed enough time to find its feet or, to put it another way… find its identity.