February 20, 2009
You know I loves me some time travel. I've watched all 30 seasons of DOCTOR WHO and five years of QUANTUM LEAP, I love 12 Monkeys, and have suffered through myriad awful movies (A Sound of Thunder, anyone?). I even (mostly) understand LOST. And I enjoy origin stories. So I was really looking forward to the premiere of SOAPnet's new nighttime series, BEING ERICA. The Canadian import follows Erica Strange, a woman who is able to travel back in time and fix past mistakes with the aid of a mysterious "therapist" named Dr. Tom. I'd heard from fans that there was a serious DOCTOR WHO vibe about it, because Dr. Tom's office was filled with strange objects and moves from place to place at his whim. After watching the debut it feels more like a personalized QUANTUM LEAP to me, with Erica on missions to "put right what once went wrong" in her own life. Plus, the people she interacts with in the past see her as looking the appropriate age — which on QL was known as "the illusion of the physical aura." The platitude-spouting Dr. Tom is certainly no Doctor, even if he does take an interest in helping an attractive younger woman. Speaking of the titular Erica, this show relies largely on the appeal of its star, Erin Karpluk (ex-Susan/Alysse, THE L WORD), who is suitably plucky, and projects just the right amount of vulnerability to make viewers empathize with Erica but not pity her.

When we meet Erica, she is a bright, pretty 32-year-old in a dead-end job with no romantic prospects — a sad fate she chalks up to "too many bad decisions" in her past. Indeed, when Dr. Tom asks her to make list of decisions she regrets, she quickly scribbles several pages' worth! Of course her family is no help, as she laments, "I'm suffocating under the weight of your collective disapproval." Erica is having a particularly bad day that starts off with her being fired, and then her date cancels. Then it starts raining on her. So you can see, it's more than a little "on the nose." But the worst is yet to come: She drinks a latte with hazelnut in it and collapses from anaphylactic shock. In the hospital she is approached by "Dr. Tom," a "non-traditional" therapist who promises to fix all her problems (in between quoting historical figures like Einstein and Patton). Without warning her, he sends her back in time to relive her prom night and "fix" her biggest regret (she got drunk and made a spectacle of herself). The actual mechanism of her time displacement is never explained; she just thinks about an incident she wants to change, there's a cold wind, and she's in the past. Dr. Tom appears in the past, but he offers little explanation for what's happening, and no guidance for what she's supposed to do. In fact, when she asks if she's really in the past, he replies, "Feels real enough." Which is no answer, and could be a clue. He also spouts pseudo-Zen platitudes like, "You are where you need to be right now." Thanks, Doc. When the adventure was over — can you guess Erica simply humiliated herself in a different manner? — there was another cold breeze and she woke up at home. Was it a dream? Well, Dr. Tom's office disappeared — but she finds the "therapist" himself, who spells out the warm-and-fuzzy lesson she should have learned: It's okay to care what people think — as long as she doesn't let it paralyze her, because their opinions don't matter as much as her own. My least-favorite aspect was the clichéd GREY'S ANATOMY-style self-indulgent voice-over, full of pop-psychology crap about self-fulfillment. I will forever hate GREY'S for foisting that format on nighttime soaps. BEING ERICA is showing its seventh episode in Canada right now, and I hear it gets better as it goes on. I'm willing to give it a chance.

The first episode of any SURVIVOR is always the best in my book, so I try to never miss the opening segment of a new cycle. Last week's opening installment of SURVIVOR: TOCATINS — THE BRAZILIAN HIGHLANDS (Can you survive pronouncing all that?) saw the nascent teams riven by bitter internal rivalries from the second the players jumped off the trucks, and this week's episode featured a sneaky blindside of Candace, who was branded a "snake in the grass" for bad-mouthing other players. I'm going to root for poor Sierra, who's had a target on her back since the opening elimination vote, but I doubt she's going to last long.

February 19, 2009
"We're not going to Guam, are we?"

The biggest LOST mystery for me this season is this: How can ratings be going down each week when the storytelling is becoming more clear and viewers are finally getting answers? Everything is beginning to gel, and the overarching story is taking shape. Take last night's episode: Not only was the time-hopping minimized (until that last-shot whammy!), the answers were maximized. Viewers learned how the DHARMA initiative originally found the island, how Eloise would help the Oceanic 6 get back, the nature of Desmond's message for Faraday's mother, why the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 were never rescued, how the scattered Oceanic 6 were reunited for the return flight, why they all had to go back as a group, how to make the trip back to the island, why Ben and Eloise were in such a rush, and, finally, why Locke hanged himself. Whew! That's a lot of answers for a show often criticized for just piling up questions. In addition, that final twist was a jaw-dropper: Jin is working for DHARMA?! What the —?!

The episode began the exact same way the series did way back in the pilot: with a close-up of Jack's eye as he woke up in the forest, then heard cries for help. But instead of leading him to the beach crash site, Jack followed Hurley's screams to the waterfall pool. "It really happened?" Hugo asked. "We're back," Jack told Kate. Then the action shifted to 46 hours earlier — but via flashback, not a time jump — to pick up the action where last week's episode left off. Eloise revealed that the church hid a DHARMA station called the Lamp Post. "This is how they found the island," said Eloise, who explained the Lamp Post was located over a unique energy source that was linked to the one on the island and could be used to predict where the island would appear. (The central feature was a Foucault pendulum, which swings independent of the Earth's rotation.) Eloise stressed that the window would close in 36 hours. She also said the island isn't done with Desmond yet, but he refused to join the O-6, so we clearly haven't seen the last of Des. The requirement that the returnees do all they can to replicate the conditions of their original journey is an excuse for lots of drama. Apparently, having a dead body along is of paramount importance, since Eloise was willing to overlook the absence of Aaron and willing to add Desmond to the trip (not to mention Ben). Wow, Locke is really making a leap of faith here. Locke was willing to kill himself (Well, we'll see just how willing next week...) because he believed in the will of island so much. And Jack was asked to go along with Locke's gambit, to the point of putting his father's shoes on the corpse." This is ridiculous!" he shouted. Really, Jack — after all the weird crap that has happened since the crash, you're balking at shoes? "That's why it's called a leap of faith, Jack," Eloise said. But instead of praying at the church upstairs, Jack went to a bar. It's like the old saying, "Everybody needs something to believe in, and I believe I'll have another drink." The Man of Science vs. Man of Faith struggle that has been raging between Jack and Locke since the first episodes took a wild twist here. Sayid boarded the plane apparently in the custody of a U.S. marshal, just like Kate originally did. Hugo brought a guitar (like Charlie originally had) and another comic book. But who told him which flight to take and how to prepare? Why won't Kate talk about Aaron? Who beat the crap out of Ben? (My guess: Sayid — Ben then had him arrested.) Looks like the island is having an effect on others besides the 0-6, too — how else to explain Lapides getting the pilot gig on Ajira Airways Flight 316?

Eloise said not following proper procedure exactly would produce results that were "unpredictable." I think we can all agree that the twist ending was an instant classic. A VW minibus drove up and a man hopped out to hold a gun on our friends: It was Jin! Jack, Kate and Hurley have clearly landed in the past, and I'm guessing the time was supposed to be sometime in the 1970s or early '80s, since the VW was not only working, but new-looking. I'm guessing that the final time-jump, when Locke put the Wheel back on its axis, dumped Jin, Sawyer and the others in the 1970s.

February 17, 2009
Time for another big catch-up column, thanks to the holiday and the fact that there's so much good television on...

I'm reserving judgment on this volume HEROES, which seems pretty uneven so far. The opening chapter rocked, but last week's episode went downhill fast. This week was a step in the right direction, but went back to the familiar tropes of the series: HRG is secretly capturing powered people again, and he and Claire are lying to her mother about it again, and Claire wants to be independent and oppose him again. So Claire narc'd on Noah, and then Sandra insisted Noah out. The scenes gave Jack Coleman and Hayden Pannetiere a chance to finally emote again, and they really went to town. Meanwhile, Nathan got a visit from Homeland Security in the (sexy) form of Moira Kelly's Abby Collins, who doubted the existence of superpowered humans and was aghast that prisoners were being held without charge or human-rights protections. Hmmm, I thought Homeland Security was into all that stuff? Anyway, Abby got an order to shut down the operation — but Tracy conveniently chose that moment to break free and callously murder a man right in front of Abby, prompting her to change her mind and fully fund Nathan's initiative. Meanwhile, Luke told Sylar that his dad sold him for cash. I totally do not like Luke, and absolutely hated Sylar giving him tips on using powers. But I cheered when Sylar left Luke to the tender mercies of the capture team. That was more in character than all that surrogate father crap. But then he returned and rescued Luke. An attack of conscience? No, Sylar just wanted to retrieve a tracking device. Hiro's enthusiasm remains an endearing positive, and I liked his motto: "When destiny calls, you answer the phone." There may be hope for HEROES yet.

THE AMAZING RACE 14 took off from southern California with a couple of interesting teams, including mother and son team Margie and Luke (who is deaf and doesn't read lips); a pair of stuntmen who double for children; and screenwriter Mike White and his gay father. I love the new graphics that seem to use satellite imagery. Margie and Luke were the first to arrive (Phil welcomed them in sign language); despite the final clue requiring they follow the sound of yodelers to find the pit stop. Preston and Jennifer were eliminated, which was good, because we didn't need to watch another couple argue for weeks while we wonder why they're together. They were at each others' throats right from departure, when they missed a train. Good riddance.

The entire second season of SECRET DIARY OF A CALL GIRL has been heading in this direction, but Hannah still didn't see it coming. She was determined to tell Alex about Belle, but when she wiggled out of one last opportunity to make the painful reveal, the inevitable happened: Alex walked in on her with a client, Blake. Naturally Alex lost it, but he lashed out at Ben instead of Hannah. "There's Hannah, and there's Belle," Ben offered by way of explanation. There was a nice bit where Blake remarked about Belle's gentleness, noting she's almost like a real girl. "I am a real girl," she replied. "My name is Hannah." I noticed that she gave up her real name without hesitation, a violation of one of her strictest rules. Speaking of being "a real girl," at this point in the series, hiding Billie's pregnancy (she gave birth to a son in October 2008) has become quite a problem. Belle is forced to wear ridiculously shapeless bubble dresses that no escort would be caught dead in, and both she and Hannah are forced to stand behind furniture and the directors frequently shoot her from behind. Her stand—ins are frequently shot from the neck down, while another angle captures Billie's face.

This is the episode I have been waiting for ever since the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA miniseries: What the frak is up with the Cylons. It revealed almost everything I wanted to know except the exact nature of the skinjobs. What are they? They obviously do not have metal endoskeletons, but there is circuitry of some sort, and something makes their spines light up during sex. Still, the story was informative and lots of fun, starting with a taste of resurrection from the Cylon's point of view as we saw Ellen Tigh reborn some 18 months ago (story time), after Saul Tigh poisoned her on New Caprica. She called Cavil "John," and noted she made him in the image of her father. Meanwhile, on Galactica, the bullet in Sam's brain (Did you notice John Hodgman, from the computer commercials, playing the brain surgeon?) allowed him to access buried memories of his history. Sam's oral history was complemented by cross-cutting with Ellen's story on the Cylon base star. The short version of Cylon history: Humans on Kobol created the so-called "Five" humanoid Cylons. Cavil was first, the 1. The Centurions believed in one merciful god, and the Five decided that if the skinjobs embraced love, they could avoid the errors of Earth. But Cavil rejected mercy and killed the Five. When they downloaded, he cut them off from their knowledge and implanted fake memories. Then he boxed them, and reintroduced them after the first Cylon war — except for No. 7, Daniel. Cavil intended for the Five to suffer and learn how horrible the humans really were; to teach the Five humility so they would embrace him. Ellen said he's driven by jealousy and rage, and she knows what he did to Daniel, the sensitive artist. Cavil contaminated the amniotic fluid of the Daniels and corrupted the programming. Sharon rescued Ellen from Cavil's machinations and they jumped away, but where did they go? In piecing together the history of the Cylons, it occurred to me that Cavil is the "Lucifer" character — created first, the best and the brightest, he refused to accept a subservient position and rebelled against his creator. I looked it up, and the definition of the verb "cavil" is to raise trivial and frivolous objections. From the Latin cavillari to jest and calvi, to deceive. (Hats off to the BSG powers-that-be for coming up with an English word I actually had to look up!) So that fits with his obstructionist, rabble-rousing ways.

I see the potential in DOLLHOUSE, but the series has to show us a little more. Eliza Dushku stars as Echo, a mysterious woman who works for an even more mysterious organization nicknamed the "Dollhouse." The idea is that a mysterious company provides whatever personnel a client wants to hire — whether that's a date for a night, an omelet chef or an assassin. The Dollhouse does this by imprinting a personality on its agents, known as "Actives," whose original personalities have been erased. After each mission, the Active's mind is erased, leaving him or her a child-like blank slate, ready to be imprinted with the next personality. The interesting point is, the personalities are created from templates that use real people — and incorporate the original person's flaws — thus, one of Echo's new personalities suffered from near-sightedness and asthma, even though Echo was a perfect physical specimen. This premise can go in a lot of directions, and I really hope they don't concentrate on action every week. The premiere episode suffered from being too plot-driven, and turned on an utterly ludicrous plot contrivance: That Echo's imprinted persona just happened to run into the man who kidnapped and molested her as a child. Out of everybody in the world these two found each other? That silliness took me right out of the story. Viewers are vastly more forgiving of coincidence in the real world; a writer who relies on coincidence to tell a story is just being lazy. Then again, creator Joss Whedon (BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER) was forced to rewrite the pilot on the fly, much like he had to do with FIREFLY (and we all know how that turned out…) But more than that, the episode was not a good introduction because it does not clearly set out the premise and establish the rules for programming the Actives before tossing in the plot complication of programming gone wrong.

February 12, 2009
Finally, LOST offered an explanation for why the island was hopping uncontrollably through time: the Wheel that controls movement of the island was knocked off its axis at some point in the past that predated the building of the Orchid station. Christian returned to chide Locke for letting Ben move the island, noting, "I said that you had to move it, John." He further revealed that Eloise Hawking would tell Locke exactly how to save the island. When Locke expressed concern about dying in the process, Christian merely shrugged: "I guess that's why they call it 'sacrifice.'" (Don't forget, the newspaper clipping that announces the death of "Jeremy Bentham" lists suicide as the official cause of death!) Back in Los Angeles, Ben, Jack and Sun arrive at the church where Hawking is based and run into Desmond, who asks, "Are you looking for Faraday's mother, too?" That fact seemed to surprise Ben — but it didn't surprise me. Check out my Jan. 22 blog entry, in which I theorized that Ms. Hawking is the unnamed mother. (And I didn't need no steenking time-jumps to predict that!) Interesting to note that Locke has no idea Christian is Jack's father. (And, just as a time-shift prevented Faraday from telling Desmond his mother's name, another flash prevented Christian from telling Locke his son's name.)

Elsewhere on the island, very bad things were happening. Smokey the Monster attacked the French science expedition, killing Nadine and attacking Montand (Did you recognize his portrayer, Marc Menard, as ALL MY CHILDREN's former Boyd?). Montand was dragged to the hieroglyph-covered Temple, where his arm was ripped off (an event Danielle mentioned waaaay back in season one). Robert called the Monster a "security system that protects the Temple" (which Danielle also calls it in Season One). Charlotte was getting worse, and Sawyer started to develop nose bleeds. Charlotte revealed that she grew up on the island as part of the DHARMA initiative (and presumably that's how she knew about the stone well beyond the Orchid), and that a strange man visited her as a child and warned her that if she returned to the island she would die. After suddenly realizing the man was Faraday, she apparently died. And Sawyer started to have nosebleeds.

When Ben moved the island at the end of last season he told Locke that whoever turns the Wheel gets banished from the island, so... any bets on where/when Locke ends up? In the Sahara like Ben, or someplace new? Obviously he lands at some point the past, relative to the Oceanic 6, giving him time to adopt his Bentham identity and contact Walt, Hurley, Kate and Jack in failed bids (well, except for Jack) to persuade them to return to the island. BTW, does anyone else think little Ji-Yeon (currently in Korea) has to return to the island, too, since she was in her mother's womb when Sun left the island?

February 11, 2009
"How come when nobody knows and it doesn't make sense, they come to us?"
—Peter Bishop

FRINGE is definitely my favorite new show this season — especially now that plot threads are beginning to intertwine. Not only was the Observer visible at the newsstand in the beginning, but Mitchell Loeb made a cameo. Call me a stickler for details, but I always wondered what happened back in the German prison after David Robert Jones teleported out. BTW, he beamed out using a device Walter invented that not only moves people and objects through space, but also time. Of course, there is a horrible toll, but those details remain a mystery for now. "It does something unthinkable," Walter hinted, "but it doesn't kill you." Yikes!

Speaking of killing, the horrible body transformations continued. After last week’s incidents of people morphing into monsters, this week a toxin caused the body's orifices to "heal over" with scar tissue, suffocating the victim and leaving their eyes, noses and mouths covered. Someone more versed in psychology than I would probably say all the body horror is a reflection of modern fear of disease and advances in genetics, but maybe it's also about the depersonalization of the Internet. Anyway, remember that old saying, "Don't take any wooden nickels"? Well forget that; don't take any $2 bills! For obvious reasons, this episode reminded me of the Harlan Ellison story "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream." That Hugo award-winning tale told of a supercomputer that becomes self-aware and gains the power to alter the bodies of people before destroying mankind. Can it be an accident that the mysterious, sinister ZFT group’s book warns of the destruction of humanity by advancements in technology? I think not! "What was written will come to pass," Loeb warned. "Nothing you can do will change that." Also, Olivia said of Jones: "The man was clever enough to STAR TREK himself out of a maximum-security German prison." Funny enough on his own, but Ellison also wrote one the most famous TREK episodes ever, "The City on the Edge of Forever," which dealt with time travel.

Jones surrendered to authorities just like "John Doe" did in Se7en, and for a similar reason: He wanted to involve his pursuers in his game. Showing more personality every week, Olivia was smiling and practically giddy at the prospect of interrogating the psycho. But Liv was the one being grilled: She was being tested — and apparently recruited for a war against another dimension. As a child, she was subjected to an experimental drug, Cortexifan, which was patented by (no surprise) Massive Dynamic. And the plot gets messier: Walter wrote the frakkin' ZFT manifesto!

Good luck waiting until April for new episodes...

February 10, 2009
HEROES picked up the action after the plane crash, with our friends on the run from Nathan's capture teams, led by the Hunter and HRG. Once again, Claire found herself accusing her father of shady dealings and he was once again insisting, "It's much more complicated than you know." (I want to know when Noah learned to fly cargo planes.) HRG is giving the impression that he has drunk Nathan's Kool-Aid and wants to control people with powers. He has consistently wanted to protect Claire from other freaks, so that part makes sense. It has been kind of laughable the way characters keep telling her to "go home" and putting her in cars. (I guess she got fed up, because that's exactly what she did.) HRG raised a very good point with Nathan: What would the Hunter do if he knew "Sen. Sky Boy" had powers? Implicit was the threat that Noah might use that information. Tracy ended the episode screaming "You're one of us!" at Nathan, who is trusting a lot of people not to bust him while he's destroying their lives. HRG proved trustworthy when he opted not to kill Peter, but was that a favor to Nathan or to Claire, who dearly loves her biological uncle? Speaking of killing, soldiers shot Daphne dead. It was an ignomious end for a character with unrealized potential, but her death prompted a revenge-seeking Matt to push one if the soldiers to kill his fellows, which makes Matt a mass murderer; perhaps a good story will come out of that. Peter told Tracy that while he still absorbs powers, he can only possess one at time. Sylar clearly does not have that limitation. When he wanted to get information out the captured Agent Simmons, he decided to torture some random innocents. What were the chances that Sylar would pick somebody who just happens to have powers? On this show, pretty good. Which is bad. Colossal "coincidences" like that jolt the viewer right out of a story and remind us that we're watching TV, not real people. Sylar himself noted, "If that's a coincidence, God's improved his sense of humor." So Sylar hit the road with a disciple in tow once again, dredging up painful memories of the hated Wonder Twins, Maya and Alejandro.

February 6, 2009
"That's the thing about spies: You never know who they are." — Michael Weston

BURN NOTICE was chockablock with familiar guest stars this week. Marla Sokoloff (ex-Claire, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES; ex-Lucy, THE PRACTICE) played a bumbling would-be spy who worked for a crooked art dealer played by Joel Gretsch (ex-Tom, THE 4400), who also employed a thug played by M.C. Gainey’s (Tom, LOST; ex-Dick Dentner, YOUNG AND RESTLESS). And Silas Weir Mitchell (ex-Haywire, PRISON BREAK) reappeared as arms dealer Seymour, who is trying to attach himself to Michael, Fiona and Sam as a sort of fourth musketeer. Former lovers Michael and Fi dealt with the awkward fallout from last week’s return tryst — mainly because Sam would not let it go. (I think Sam was acting on behalf of the audience there by badgering them.) They grudgingly acknowledged their connection when he admitted he had brought her a Spanish omelet the next morning, and she suggested that maybe she should stick around next time. That was it, but at least it was something. Say, what do Sam and Fiona do when they're not helping Michael? I know Sam is supposed to be retired, but he needs to support himself somehow. (He can’t live off rich widows all the time, can he?) And when was the last time Fi took a job of her own? Surely something needs to be blown up somewhere in the world.... Speaking of things that go to pieces, the bane of Michael's existence continues to be the "clients" he always seems to stumble into helping. These amateurs invariably try to "help" and just make things worse. I’m glad Michael accepted that envelope full of money at the end this time; he does too many jobs for free. And he did have to pay back Seymour for procuring the shotguns with the specialized "disruptor shells" that proved to be the coolest gadget this week (edging out the car battery-electromagnet). Disruptor shells are filled with water, and used by bomb squads to disable explosives without igniting them. They also make nifty non-lethal antipersonnel weapons.

I've come to the conclusion that the best part of 11TH HOUR is the opening title sequence: A ticking clock intercut into the opening teaser. With the clock hand sweeping from 9 to 11, the music swells as the episode’s "dire" threat is established. Sadly, the rest of the episode rarely lives up to that tension-filled intro.

SMALLVILLE, on the other hand, opened with a bang — two bombshells, actually: Oliver Queen bought a controlling interest in LuthorCorp, and a literal bomb exploded in the board room.Ollie survived, but was confined to a hospital bed for the rest of the episode. Apparently the new Queen Industries/LuthorCorp company has a lousy HMO, as Ollie was not given a hospital gown, leaving poor Justin Hartley (ex-Fox, PASSIONS) bare-chested around all those pretty nurses. Meanwhile, Clark and Lana basked in the glow of being boyfriend/girlfriend superheroes at long last. Clark has been completely obsessed with Lana since high school, and the opportunity to at last share not only his secret but his bed with her was a nice payoff for longtime viewers. However, like any good soap, the happy couple was not afforded much bliss. Villainous Lex used the Toyman to set a kryptonite bomb on the roof of the Daily Planet, forcing Lana to use her special nanobot armor to absorb the kryptonite, rendering it radioactive to Clark. And, since she cannot remove the (invisible) armor, Clark cannot come with 6 feet of her without risking death. Talk about a complication! Still, in a touching moment of complete devotion, Clark forced himself to embrace the sobbing Lana once last time. She matched his heroic move with one of her own: Walking out of his life before her very presence could end it. Wow, Lex is gonna have to pay for this...

February 5, 2009
Every once in a while LOST comes up with a show that leaves me shaking my head, but not in the way that most fans do. While a lot of other viewers balk at all the time-shifting, I have little problem following the time-traveling hijinks and spotting the returning players and recognizing references to past stories. So perhaps that's why last night's episode threw me: The storytelling was mostly linear, but a lot of it felt like filler. Was it really necessary to pursue the red herring of Claire's mother for so long? Did we really have to follow all those time jumps and see the sights of the island travelogue? I hope it turns out our friends need the info gleaned from these hops at some point in the future. (For instance, watch out for outrigger canoes!)

Certainly there was plenty of important information presented last night: Who was trying to take away Aaron (Ben), how Ben planned to get to Hurley, and — most importantly — the return of Jin! But the story seemed to take its time getting to these revelations. And the requisite mind-freak came from the reveal of Danielle Rousseau, who found Jin floating on a piece of debris — in 1988! That was the year she and her science team arrived at the island while tracing the numbers transmission. She is pregnant with daughter Alex. It's wonderful how disparate threads from previous seasons are being woven together; laying all that groundwork is paying off. And it would appear that Ajira Airlines is a significant new addition to the canon. Ajira's logo has been appearing in promotional clips on the ABC Web site. Can Jin catch a break? Separated from the freighter and the helicopter he was left to rely on his poor English to communicate with Danielle's French team. And Locke vowed to get the Oceanic Six back to the island “even if it kills me.” Which we know it does! My favorite scene was Sawyer encountering Kate helping Claire deliver Aaron (from the first season). He looked so sad to see her again after presuming she is dead; hard to imagine the effort it must have taken for him to resist interacting with her. Sawyer figured out the light was from the hatch Locke noted they visited the night Boone died, but insisted he would not change anything, because he needed the pain of his experiences to get to where he is now.

When Miles and Juliet developed their nosebleeds from time sickness, it set me to wondering why Locke and Sawyer are not suffering. Clearly, Miles and Juliet do not have “constants” — and will not get one, since Faraday insists on not explaining the concept to them. At this point, I have to assume Faraday wants them (and Charlotte) to die. As for Locke and Sawyer, is it possible to have a constant without knowing it? I think perhaps Sawyer is unconsciously using Kate as his constant. I'm also wondering if the island itself might be Locke's constant. It obviously exists in all time zones, and he cares about it deeply.

February 4, 2009
On FRINGE last night, Vertis Air Flight 718 passenger Marshal Bowman started literally going to pieces in the lavatory — then he transformed into a slavering monster. Haven't we all been on flights like this? I loved the smash-edit of the scene in which the creature broke out, because it had a Cloverfield-like sense of verity. The government cover story for the crash in Scarsdale, N.Y., was engine failure, which eerily echoed the recent ditching of a plane in New York's Hudson River. When the corpse of the monster was recovered, Olivia experienced one of the memories she retained from John Scott: She saw Bowman and co-conspirator Strickland. Turned out the men were facilitating the sale of a designer virus as a biological weapon. I love how Olivia continues to develop a personality; she has become so stone cold now that she withheld medical treatment until Strickland gave up the name of a suspect. What is this, 24? Olivia realized that the key to the case resided in John's memories, so she re-entered the isolation tank to access the knowledge she inherited from her former partner (played by Mark Valley, ex-Jack, DAYS OF OUR LIVES). With the active help of the MemoryJohn, Liv was able to solve the case, stop the sale of the chemical weapon and — most importantly for her — release her anger that her former lover was a traitor to his country. (He was just pretending while working black ops.) Oh, and MemoryJohn proposed to her. Talk about a dream fiancé! Olivia said goodbye to John's memories on the dock of a frozen lake, where he slipped the ring on her finger before fading from her consciousness. Who says FRINGE isn't romantic? Still, the whole episode was suffused with tension and the series' trademark grotesque gore. And Walter introduced us to the "One-half Nipple Rule," which states that a mammal species' typical number of offspring equals half the number of the mother's nipples. (Sadly, no "reverse mutator" is gonna erase that fact from your brain.)

The caterwauling continued as AMERICAN IDOL "whittled" the field down to...er, 104 contestants. (This is gonna take a while....) Watching the throwdown between newbie judge Kara and erstwhile "Bikini Girl" Katrina, I noticed that while delivering her criticism, Kara tried to keep her eyes focused on the table; she could barely stand to look at Katrina. That told me she has a problem with Katrina's appearance. Even Paula admitted she could sing, so it wasn't just a male thing. There's a lot of talk that this whole "Bikini Girl" kerfuffle is setting a bad example for young girls; I think the "wrong" message that's being sent by Kara vs. Katrina is that women are somehow supposed to be catty. Not true. You're there to judge the singing, Kara, not the wardrobe. There are other reality shows for that.

February 3, 2009
Now that was an entertaining episode of HEROES! It has been way too long since I have been able to write a sentence like that, but "A Clear and Present Danger," Chapter One of the new volume, "Fugitives," was truly exciting. What made it a great episode was that things happened; it was not all status quo. We learned that Nathan is now head of Homeland Security, with the power to implement his plan to round up people with special abilities without charges and put them in internment camps. The parallels to the real world's Guantanamo Bay are obvious, and the depiction of captured heroes trussed up in hooded orange jumpsuits echoes reports we've all seen on the news of people being shipped to Gitmo. It was scary to see our friends Peter, Claire, Hiro, Matt, Mohinder and Tracy bound and kept drugged so they couldn't use their abilities. The Hunter in charge of the capture teams is known as Danko, and played by Zeljko Ivanek, most recently seen winning the supporting actor Emmy for playing Ray Fiske on DAMAGES. The Hunter erred by letting someone else lead the assault on Sylar, so know the baddie knows he's being hunted. I know HRG appears to be working with the Hunter, but I'm withholding judgment; as my favorite character, Noah Bennet deserves the benefit of the doubt. It is notable that the Haitian is not seen working with Noah and the capture teams, nor is any metahuman seen. It's possible the Haitian refused to participate, but surely some of the more unsavory powered people out would be willing to help round up their fellow evolved humans in exchange for preferential treatment. Nathan certainly seemed willing to accept Peter's participation. "You're a self-loathing hypocrite," Peter said. Note that Nathan does not know what Peter's current abilities are. (Neither do we, but we later saw him absorb powers through direct touch, like their father.)

Hiro's attempts to turn Ando into a superhero — complete with a lair and "Ando-Cycle" — were charming, and marked a welcome return to the buddy-buddy relationship between the boys. I like the way Hiro wants to use powers, because characters like Peter and Matt wanting to be "normal" is dull. (What does Peter do when back at his "normal" EMT job? Complain that he should have been "faster" to save an accident victim.) And Matt? He was working as a security guard and trying to convince Daphne to slow down and live life as a normal. But then a vision of Usutu (killed by Arthur in the last volume) appeared and gave Matt the ability to draw the future. I'm all for keeping comic book artist Tim Sale on staff, but it's becoming a burden for the story to keep digging up people to paint the future. Just please don't draw New York exploding yet again! I am interested in Sylar's hunt for his true parents, but it was pretty dull — until the government thugs showed up. At first I thought Sylar's healing power helped him shake off the taser, and I wondered why Claire couldn't do the same thing, but then I figured maybe it was Sylar's electrical powers that helped him recover so quickly. Still, Danko should have known better than to try to capture Sylar alive. Nathan warned him to put a bullet in Sylar's brain. Claire being Nathan's daughter saved her from a similar fate, and although she made her move on the transport plane too soon, her heart was in the right place. The chaos of the crashing plane made for one helluva cliff-hanger. We know unkillable Claire will get through it, but who else?

The season premiere of MEDIUM featured a guest turn by James Urbaniak (Gary, THE STARTER WIFE) as an art teacher. I know Urbaniak better as the voice of Dr. Venture on the brilliant animated series THE VENTURE BROS. from Cartoon Network.

I'll say this for last night's GOSSIP GIRL. It was all about the destructive power of gossip posted on that Web site, and it sort of trivialized things by illustrating just how flimsy the premise is. The character Rachel even ridiculed the idea that people would live for rumors posted anonymously. I was happily surprised to see Blair appeal to Daddy Waldorf, who just happens to be played by John Shea, who was Lex Luthor on LOIS & CLARK: THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN, so you can bet he got results. Thank goodness Chuck pointed out the obvious Eyes Wide Shut vibe to his whole plotline with Elle. Overall, not an episode to write home about — or, rather, post online about!

February 2, 2009
The mutiny began on BATTLESTAR GALACTICA as Felix Gaeta's disillusionment with the Cylon alliance dovetailed with Vice President Tom Zarek's lust for power, prompting Gaeta to bust Zarek out of the brig, but when his plan to sneak the vice president off Galactica went sideways, Zarek picked up a wrench and brained Chief Laird. Zarek warned Gaeta this was only the first death; their coup was going to be messy. And it was. When Lee arrived on Galactica he was accosted by several Marines and pilots, including Skulls and Racetrack, but luckily Kara showed up, guns blazing. She didn't hesitate to drop Skulls and Marine, growling, "I can do this all day." I loved how Kara was practically giddy with the thrill o battle, impulsively kissing Lee. Gaeta used his position at CIC to control flow of information to the bridge, but eventually word leaked to command staff that there was a mutiny under way, forcing Gaeta to act openly: "Admiral Adama, I am removing you from command of this ship." Adama replied with fury, warning the mutineers there will be, "No forgiveness! No amnesty!" as he, Tigh and Hoshi were herded toward the brig. Elsewhere, skinjobs Sam, Sharon (with daughter Hera) and Caprica-Six were rounded up, but Galen helped Lee and Bill Adama evade the mutineers.

This episode was packed with action — a tableau of spent shell casings on the deck spoke volumes — and even more paranoia than usual. Bill Adama even got his hands dirty, staring down Nowart, then wrestling away his gun and shooting Moldanado in the frakkin' face! And talk about a cliff-hanger: Bill put Laura on the Raptor like Rick putting Ilsa on the plane at the end of Casablanca; then he stood, shoulder-to-shoulder with Tigh — "It's been an honor to serve with you, my friend," he acknowledged — as the Marines stormed the room and Gaeta ordered Laura's Raptor shot down. "To be continued...." Are they frakkin' kidding me??!?! How can I wait an entire week to find out what will happen!

Will Hannah ever find a way to balance her personal and professional lives on SECRET DIARY OF A CALL GIRL? Already wrestling with "dating" Alex as her "real" self, Hannah, Belle had to deal with a wife who demanded to know what Belle and her husband spent their time doing. As it turned out, Belle was providing him with "GFE" — the Girlfriend Experience, in which she basically chatted with the guy for a while before getting down to business. Belle realized she can be a girlfriend for pay, but not for her own peace of mind. And just when Hannah seemed ready to surrender to the emptiness of anyone who has devoted her life completely to career, there was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Bambi, reminding Belle of the excitement of the Life. What's a girl to do?

If you're a girl like SMALLVILLE's Lana Lang, it appears the answer to fixing your life lies in going out and getting a mad scientist to give you superpowers, so you can fight evil side-by-side with your super-squeeze. Kristen Kreuk is playing Lana as a guest star, after going off-contract, and this version of the character is vastly changed: She's more mature in every way, from her take-charge attitude about life to her sexy new haircut. She is determined to use ex-husband Lex's unethical human experimentation against him, and to help Clark. "I did it so that I could actually do some good in the world," she told him. "You and I are equals now. And together, we can help make the world a better place." So a new day dawned (literally), with Clark and Lana embracing as fellow superheroes. How long will that last?

January 29, 2009
LOST's island continued its random time-hopping, albeit at a much slower pace this week. Still, the jaunts allowed our time-travelers to learn some interesting secrets, chief among them: There's apparently a hydrogen bomb buried somewhere on the island, and a young Charles Widmore was stationed on the island in 1954. We also learned why Richard Alpert went to visit Locke soon after he was born (on May 30, 1956) and test him for leadership of the Others: The adult Locke told him drop by (which Richard did, in the Season 4 episode "Cabin Fever."). Desmond dropped by Oxford and learned that Daniel Faraday had been disgraced and bounced from the school for doing something bad to a now-bedridden woman. (To me, she appeared to be out of phase with reality — talking to dead relatives, etc.) Des also learned that Charles Widmore has been bankrolling Faraday's research, and that Faraday's mother now resides in Los Angeles. Oh, and Desmond and Penny have a son named Charlie. By the way, since Faraday’s past is such an issue, does anyone recognize his portrayer, Jeremy Davies, as Robin’s first boyfriend, Roger, on GENERAL HOSPITAL? Talk about a time warp! Meanwhile, on the island, Faraday, Miles, Charlotte, Sawyer, Juliet and Locke contended with factions of Others, and Faraday located a leaky nuclear bomb (nicknamed "Jughead"). Right after he warned the Others to bury the bomb, the island jumped again. That was one skip too many for Charlotte, who collapsed, bleeding profusely. Faraday claimed to love her in this episode, so why didn't he explain that she needs a "constant" in order to journey through time? For that matter, why hasn’t he told everyone else? (Recall that Faraday chose Desmond as his constant.)

Time-travel left our friends on the island confused — much like Detective Sam Tyler, who is stranded in the year 1973 in LIFE ON MARS. Just when it looks like he's settling in to his new life in the Me Decade he was unsettled to see little nanobots crawling around inside peoples' bodies, reminding him that something is up. The time-shifting allowed for a fun opening gag about portable phones: A guy lost his shirt by investing in the newfangled devices, which in 1973 make people say, "Who wants to carry around a phone?" I laughed because I'm one of the mere handful of people in America who absolutely hates carrying a cell phone. What I loved was the rivalry between the 125 and 144 precincts, with the 144 embodied by Anthony Nunzio, played by Vincent Curatola (ex-Johnny Sack, THE SOPRANOS). He and Harvey Keitel made for a great tough-guy pissing match, and opened a window into Hunt's past: His antagonism with Nunzio stemmed from a dispute over a woman, Angela, whom both guys fell for. She chose Hunt, but the marriage didn't last. "She never burned for me, no matter how many times I set myself on fire for her," Hunt mused. Wow, was there ever a more evocative-yet-succinct description of unrequited love? Still, he got three kids out of it. Speaking of kids, Tyler caught the eye of Maria, a social worker called in to babysit a child witness. They hooked up, much to Annie's chagrin — and Sam's, after he discovered that Maria is Hunt's daughter! Oops...

January 28, 2009
One of the first things Walter said in the newest episode of FRINGE was, "This is the part of the day that I look forward to most — when I know there's something bizarre out there. I just don't know what it is — like a grab-bag of disturbing events." That perfectly crystallizes my thoughts as I'm about to embark on another episode of this delightfully loopy series. It should become the show's motto. This week's case, appropriately called "The No-Brainer," dealt with a computer file that used video and subsonic stimuli to overload the brain's natural electrical impulses and liquefy the brain of anyone who opens it. Don't worry, that file is not attached to this blog. However, worry — or, more precisely, suspense — was on the mind of every viewer when it was announced that the killer app was being downloaded at Olivia's home, because her niece Ella was using the computer. In classic Alfred Hitchcock fashion, we the audience knew the threat was looming, but Ella was oblivious to the danger. Her mother was busy cooking, and Liv and Peter were racing to the scene at top speed, but no one could warn Ella that when the window popped open, asking, "What's That Noise? Click Me" she should not open it. As the file downloaded, we knew it was cooking her brain, so the director intercut shots of Rachel boiling pasta and a frantic Olivia trying to call with a warning. Would somebody save her? That was Hitchcock's definition of suspense! Liv arrived just in time to save Ella, who told her what she saw in a creepy voice: "There was a hand — weird, glowy, scary." Indeed. As a bonus, FRINGE continued to sketch in personalities for its stars; Peter has a computer expert pal named Akim, and also made a connection with Olivia's cute sister, Rachel (Ari Graynor, ex-Caitlin, THE SOPRANOS). And Walter met with the mother of the lab assistant killed in the fire that sent him to the asylum 17 years ago. She just wanted to reminisce about her daughter, and so did Walter. This proved that he was capable of dealing with traumas from his past without slipping backward into madness.