Friday, September 8, 2006
On today's episode of MTV's MY SUPER SWEET 16, Colby had a meltdown when things weren't ready for her party. What? Wrong show? Oh....Daddy Adam came to the rescue and before long, Colby's frown was turned upside down. Fellow birthday girl Sydney, however, was feeling a little blue. Babe assured Winifred's niece that she'd have a dynamite entrance and Jordan Pruitt quickly arrived to introduce Sydney. The teeny singer then entertained the group and the crowd chanted for Sydney, practically making steam come out of Colby's ears. Colby shooed her half naked men (who were supposed to carry her into the party) away, accepting that her party had been ruined. Then she attacked Sydney. Krystal reprimanded Colby, but Daddy's little princess didn't have to worry — she had a surprise of her own waiting that would make her the showstopper. On cue, Jesse McCartney (ex-JR) arrived to sing.

A frazzled Jonathan demanded info about Terry from Ryan. Ryan assured his brother that Terry wasn't anywhere near Lily. "You can't guarantee that," a troubled Jon pointed out. Meanwhile, Terry sent Lily a text message that he was waiting on her by the tree. Later, at Colby and Sydney's party, Sean helped Lily sneak away from her security guards (provided by Jack) so she could meet "Asperger Boy." Back in Ryan's office, Ryan spied a passport sticking out of his brother's pocket and deducted that Jon wanted to go to Ireland and kill Terry. Ryan made Jonathan promise to stay put and not do anything crazy. Jon agreed, as long as Ryan made sure Lily stayed safe. Later, Jonathan remained upset. Lucky for him Amanda was there to comfort him — with a kiss. Meanwhile, Lily arrived at her tree with Terry waiting on her in the dark.

Kendall arrived home to find Zach cradling Spike. He explained he was there to see Spike, because he loved him — and his mom. "I know that, Zach," sighed Kendall. "What I don't know is how to deal with the fact that you lied to me again." For the millionth time Zach insisted he didn't kill Madden, but Kendall informed her hubby that Tad told her everything, and she believed him over Zach. An upset Zach walked out on Kendall. Later, Kendall discussed her woes with Ryan and wanted to know what she should do. He didn't offer advice, but the two did share a drink and toasted to their little boy. But when Ryan received a call letting him know Lily escaped her security, he quickly left.

When Dixie showed up at Zach's office (per Zach's instructions), she was surprised to find Zach's goons. They informed her Zach ordered them to make sure she hightailed it out of town. After leaving Kendall, Zach went to his office and was surprised to see Dixie hadn't left town. He was just trying to protect her, he explained. "I'm not abandoning you," said Dixie. Plus, she had to stay for JR's sake. "You're not going to prison," Zach assured her and left his office in a rush. Meanwhile, at Tad's house, Jamie told his father he was leaving town. He didn't want to see Tad testify against Dixie and hurt JR. Seeing how upset his son was, Tad took Jamie out to dinner. After a heart-to-heart, Jamie assured Tad he wasn't going to leave town. Later, while Tad was sleeping on the coach, Zach broke into his home.

Thursday, September 7, 2006
In Zach's office, Di told Zach that Dixie wouldn't flee the country because of him. "She's got some pretty strong feelings for you," Di pointed out. "Does she have a chance with you or are you still in love with Kendall?" Zach claimed it didn't matter what his feeling were — Kendall was divorcing him. Di realized Zach still loved Kendall and begged Zach to tell Dixie she didn't have a chance with him. She wanted Dixie to leave the country. Dixie knew what she was getting herself into, Zach assured Di, and refused to talk to the ex-Mrs. Martin.

At the Fusion offices, Josh and Kendall discussed the fact that Josh saw Kendall kissing Zach, but was keeping mum because of Babe. Kendall told her newfound brother her separation from Zach wasn't an act. Once Babe showed up at work, Kendall asked her nemesis why she talked Josh into keeping the secret. Babe assured Kendall she didn't do it for her sake, rather it was for Josh. Whether he admitted it or not, Josh's sisters were important to him. "What's really going on between you two?" Kendall wondered. Without answering, Babe left to get read for Colby's party. Later, Kendall asked her brother the same question. "You can't grasp the concept of friends?" he responded. Nope, not where Babe was concerned. When Kendall returned home, she was shocked to find Zach standing in the living room holding Spike.

As Lily arranged to meet "Asperger Boy" (aka Terry), she discovered a problem in her plan: Jack wasn't about to let her leave the house alone. Lily assured her Internet pal/stalker that she'd be there somehow. After having a powwow with Sean (and calling Aidan to ensure Terry was still in Ireland), Jack finally relented and allowed Lily to go to Colby's party with Sean. She got all dolled up in a new dress and prepared to leave with Sean.

Adam woke Colby up on her 16th birthday by dangling keys in her face. Yup, the brat got a car. "My carjacking days are over!" she squealed, as Winifred documented everything on video, including Colby opening up her new dress. Colby's happiness didn't last long, though, and she had a meltdown about her new dress, which wasn't up to her standards. Adam to the rescue. "She's got you wrapped around your finger," JR lamented when he finally got his dad alone. Adam was aware of that. He missed too much time in his daughter's life and would do anything he could to make sure Colby knew he loved her. "She's my baby," he explained. Later, JR had a heart-to-heart with Colby and assured his little sister that he didn't hate her. Colby told JR her party was so important to her because she now had her father in her life. Being a Chandler meant the world to her. (As scary as it seems, she actually sounded sincere.) Meanwhile, Babe helped out Sydney, who was feeling a bit overshadowed. After an annoying montage of the girls getting dolled up, they were finally ready to all head to the Sweet 16 party.

Wednesday, September 6, 2006
JR returned home to the Chandler mansion and was greeted with Colby and Sydney fighting over a dress. "Colby, you are the most shallow, self-absorbed kid that I've ever seen," he went off. "You need to grow up." (We second that.) JR then proceeded to tear said dress in two pieces. Then he went upstairs to read his son a bedtime story. However, when Adam walked in and announced Babe had been home and left again, JR was obviously disturbed. Back downstairs, Krystal overheard Sydney mention the picture she had of Colby drinking. Krystal had a compromise for the young gals: she'd buy Colby a new dress so Sydney could keep hers and they'd keep the drinking a secret, as long as the kids agreed to give their dresses to charity after the party AND do community service at the Miranda Center. They reluctantly agreed and the screaming finally stopped. Ryan informed Jamal and Annie that Terry was still in Ireland and hadn't left his hotel in days. Meanwhile, Lily and Terry continued conversing online as Asperger Boy and Autism Girl. Sean walked into Lily's room while she was on the computer and Lily told him all about Asperger Boy. Sean thought nothing of it and left Lily alone to talk to her new "friend," oblivious to how dangerous the situation was. Sean went to ConFusion and filled in Jonathan about Lily's new friend, noting how happy Lily was. Back in front of her computer, Lily and Terry made plans to meet, without Jackson's knowledge.

Over at Ryan's office, Livia caught Jamal with Ryan and Annie and she was irate that her son was helping Annie, who had a warrant for her arrest in New York. Later Livia discussed her cholesterol problems. (Oh, wait, that was Tonya Pinkins in a commercial during the break. Oops.) Meanwhile, Annie asked Ryan if he'd teach her how to use a gun. "Terry has taken enough from me," she cryptically said. "I'm taking it back." At the end of the episode, Ryan took Annie for some firing practice.

At ConFusion, Jamie told Julia he wanted to leave Pine Valley to get away from his family's problems — and he wanted her to come with him. She declined, but would support whatever he decided to do. Also at the club, Amanda let it slip in front of Babe that she covered for JR and Jamie. Babe flipped, but eventually calmed down enough for the ladies to discuss their love woes. Babe was surprised when Amanda revealed her growing feelings for Jonathan. Meanwhile, Jeff went to see his son and was disturbed to see the coffin in his room. Josh didn't have time for his newly-discovered father and didn't stick around to chat. Instead, he went to ConFusion. He wanted to spend some time with Babe, but she sighed and turned him down, stating she needed to get home. Before she could leave, however, Jeff ran into her. He was worried Josh was planning to kill himself. Babe lamented that she couldn't babysit Josh, but she was clearly torn about him. When Babe returned home, she found JR sitting in the dark in their bedroom. "I love you," she assured him and the couple shared a hot lip lock (all while shedding their clothing). Meanwhile, Josh sat all alone in the dark in his room — with no one to share a kiss with and no reason to shed his clothes.

Tuesday, September 5, 2006
At the police station, Derek gave Tad an ultimatum: either Tad had to testify against Dixie or JR and Jamie went to jail for stealing the tape. JR tried to tell Derek that Zach stole the tape, but the chief didn't budge. "I'll testify," Tad finally sighed, much to JR and Jamie's detests. Dixie glared at her ex-husband and said, "I'll see you in court," before walking out. Later, at Jamie's apartment, Julia walked in on the irate young Martin pumping iron. When she finally got him to talk, he grunted, "Everything is going straight to hell." (So much for optimism.) The duo then did what they do best and had sex. (Guess today's was comfort sex.) Meanwhile, JR headed over to ConFusion where he attacked Del. "You stupid moron! You just sent my mother to prison." After yelling at his uncle, JR tried to call his wife, but she was nowhere to be found — and neither was Josh.

Of course, Josh and Babe were together. Babe was disturbed to find that Josh had built his own coffin — but even more so that he was planning on using it for himself. He explained that he had to feel what Greg felt before his death in order to deal with everything and possibly move on. (Ummm, okay.) Babe, of course, tried to talk him out of it, but it didn't work. Josh tried to push her away, but Babe refused to leave. She was hesitant, but after he climbed in, Babe put the nails in Josh's coffin. (Sadly, we mean literally.) Soon after, Josh began panicking because he couldn't breathe. (What did he expect? It's a coffin.) Babe helped him escape and Josh then broke down in her arms. "He didn't deserve that," he cried.

Ryan left Kendall and Zach alone so they could have the umpteenth conversation where Kendall asked Zach if he really killed Madden. Kendall promised to never question him again, as long as he stopped talking to Dixie. "I won't do that," Zach insisted. Needless to say, Kendall wasn't pleased. The newlyweds then had a heated argument where Kendall lashed out that Dixie wanted her husband. Kendall just didn't understand Zach's recent actions. Zach offered her his love, but no explanations. Kendall broke down and cried that he was wrecking their lives for "that stupid little slut" Dixie and ordered him to leave. (Annie and Ryan observed all of this from the hallway.) Kendall left, too, and went straight to Tad's demanding the truth. Did he really see Zach and Dixie the night Madden was killed? "Yes, I did." Tad responded. Kendall collapsed in tears and Tad tried his best to comfort her. Meanwhile, Dixie went to Zach's office where he lamented, "Kendall has decided I'm a killer." She listened to him disclose his marital problems then stopped him from any further drinking. He squeezed her hand and when it looked like he was about to walk to the door, he turned and pulled Dix into a heated kiss. After that, he did walk out the door, leaving Dixie perplexed.

2005 recaps