Friday, June 15, 2007
In Old Town, Jade snapped at Cleo and threatened to tell Will and Gwen what was up. Will lurked in the bushes as they argued. "You're no little hick, you're a sneak," Jade spat. Cleo returned to the Munson house to find Will on his laptop. She offered to bake; he preferred the truth about Jade. Cleo spun a story about Jade seeing her making friends with Gwen and threatening her. Will slammed out to confront Jade, who pointed out Cleo was "completely weird," and advised him to "cut her loose." Will defended the wacky girl, who wrote in her diary about "W" defending her honor. Cleo vowed to stop Jade "for good," and pulled Jade's jeweled "J" locket from beneath her shirt.

At Al's, Emily left a message for Dusty and then spied a familiar face out the window. It was Aaron Snyder! "Why were you just avoiding me?" she asked. Well, he'd lost the nerve to ask her where he could find Ali. In Las Vegas, naked Alison flashed back on her busy night and awoke to a surly and half-dressed Dusty. "I was dreaming that you and I were making love," she laughed. Dusty wasn't laughing. Yes, they had sex in their sleep, folks! "You're just going to go about your day like it didn't happen?" Ali boggled. "It won't happen again...so there's nothing to talk about," he shrugged. Emily updated Aaron on the edited version of Ali's life and he admitted they'd made "a lot of mistakes." "I've taken like a hundred showers," Ali cracked, awkwardly, before Dusty told her the cops had found Lance and busted him with kiddie porn. Towel-clad, she cleaned the blood off Dusty's shirt. Later, Emily finally got a hold of Dusty. And, yeah, it was weird. She thanked him for "taking care" of her little sister. (Har, har.) Ali wasn't raring to go home to Oakdale but Dusty gave her a pep talk. At Al's, Aaron feared "derail"-ing Alison's life. Em did caution that Ali was "fragile," but said he was exactly what Ali needs right now. Leaving Las Vegas, Alison and Dusty resolved to let what happened there stay there.

Lily brought Faith to Old Town for dance class and told her that Parker was in a lot of trouble. At the farm, Parker tried to explain himself to Holden on the phone and JJ was still wracked with secret guilt about leaving the BB gun out. "What are you sorry about? You're the good kid," Parker snapped. At the OPD, Jack told Carly he'd reserved Parker a spot at the bad kid camp (at least it's not Dr. Kreeger's ex-gay camp!). Faith opened up to Lily about her feelings for Parker and seeing him with thin Morgan. Parker found the application for the juvie camp and JJ worried some more. Jack informed Carly he'd talked to a lawyer about their respective rights to Parker, then they discussed Parker's behavior issues. "What if Parker had nothing to do with it?" Carly asked of Faith's shooting. Lily told Faith not to compare herself to Morgan and Faith confessed to binging and spying on Parker and Morgan. At the station, cop Jack stacked up all the circumstantial evidence against his stepson. "It tears my heart out," he confessed. As they continued to argue, JJ rushed in and interrupted, saying they couldn't send Parker away. (Jack explained to him that sending a troubled Snyder kid to camp is an annual ATWT storyline.) Alone with Carly, JJ verged on 'fessing up but hightailed it out instead. Lily reassured Faith and went off to look at office space for her and Carly's venture. Faith then encountered guilt-ridden JJ. At the farm, Parker answered "whatever" when Jack asked if he was willing to go to "Exile Island." Carly asked Parker to work with her and "give me something." Parker wasn't interested, though. JJ confessed to Faith that he put the gun outside. Carly pleaded with Jack to believe in Parker. She gave him her best googly eyes and said they could fix this together.

Thursday, June 14, 2007
At the Munson's Gwen modeled an outfit for Cleo, nervous about meeting with the record producer. Freaked, she looked for her lucky earrings and Cleo simultaneously pulled them from her bag. She trumped up some crazy excuse about finding them in the couch cushions. Frazzled Gwen left and Cleo talked to herself out loud, theorizing that someone framed her. She tracked down Jade, accused her of planting the earrings and asked her to "leave me alone." Jade wasn't buying Cleo's "Will and Gwen are my BFFs" routine, warning her, "You better not be threatening me." The two biggest members of the Will Munson Fan Club drew battle lines.

In Las Vegas, Ali flipped out as the cops came to talk about Lance. Dusty calmed her and opened the door. He gave the LVPD officers a report and let them leave, while Ali went cuckoo again because Dusty wanted to call Emily. "I just need to get clean!" she insisted. Dusty ordered breakfast, left a message for Emily and then noticed that "Ali Cat" was still in the shower, pulling a veritable Lady Macbeth about being bloody. Of course, this meant him getting in there fully clothed and holding her. Later, wrapped in terrycloth, Doctor Dusty, Counselor Extraordinaire was back in full force. He climbed into bed with Ali and tried to get her to sleep. Of course, in their sleep, they got a little snuggly. Okay, a lot snuggly. (Maybe Ali thought she was still shooting porn...?)

Craig visited his "gorgeous sister" at the OPD. Margo didn't buy his perky family-oriented attitude. At the farm, Meg was torn over the wedding gowns Craig had sent for her and Emma disapproved of the whole to-do. Paul made calls about marital legal issues and discovered Craig and Meg were wedding today. Craig informed Best Person Margo of the moved up nuptials while Meg admitted her whole scheme to Emma. "What about you? What about my little Meggie?" Emma asked. Meg allayed her mother's fears (okay, not really) and then Paul called her to meet him at the church. There, he told her he wanted her to say "I do!" and then make a run for it. "How do I transfer to Lucinda?" she wondered of WorldWide. "By Italian fax," he grinned. He assured Meg nothing bad could happen because he'd returned her rings to the jeweler. Of course, Craig was showing the exact same antique rings to Margo! Margo warned him that they were "bad luck" rings since they'd been returned from a canceled wedding. As they arrived at church, Paul snuck out the back. Craig assured Meg he'd have the contract "signed and sealed" before they exchanged vows. "No one could love you like I do," he told her. Margo watched them kiss with suspicion. Later, she pointed out to Craig that Meg had flinched and warned him that the marriage "screams business arrangement." At the church, Meg snuggled with Paul and he assured her he wouldn't miss this town. "Come away with me now," he urged. Craig waxed poetic about Meg to Margo, certain that this was "a start." His blushing bride-to-be was, at that moment, telling Paul she just needed a few more hours. She gave Paul her grandmother's locket as a sign that "I will come back to you."

Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Maddie, Noah, and Luke read over Kim's new assignment for them: creating their own show. Noah suggested they stream short episodes over the phone. He pointed out that Maddie had been sending messages to Casey via cell. She could star. Naoh would direct and Luke could write! Luke freaked at the idea of writing anything but Maddie and Noah enthusiastically brainstormed. Gwen came by to tell them she was finishing her demo and Maddie introduced her to Noah. Gwen introduced them to Cleo. Noah and Luke had an odd moment before Luke left. Then, Noah mused about a benefit at a Branson, Missouri theatre he'd once interned at. Could Gwen perform there? Cleo encouraged her to go for it. On the street, Jade asked Luke about Gwen's new pal. "Why do you care?" he asked. Jade laughed off Will and Gwen's "stray kitten," and blew off plans with her cousin. Later, Maddie watched Noah collate and raved about his impressive resume.

Bunny boiler Cleo continued writing in her diary about "W," and "G," and "being with W. in every way." In Old Town, Barbara ran into cuddly Will and Gwen and presented them with a music producer's card. She was all hyper, but Gwen still had misgivings about finishing her demo. "It's just a step and you have to take it," Barbara urged. W. and G. thanked her and promised to call the producer. Cleo tracked them down, presented Will with baked goods and then got the good news about Gwen's demo. Later, Gwen and Cleo had sodas at Al's and Cleo mentioned that she'd have to leave her cool friends behind when she got famous. Will then came in and wanted to celebrate with champagne. They left Cleo, who opened up that trusty diary and wrote another gushing entry. Meanwhile, Jade broke into the Munsons' house and planted Gwen's earrings in Cleo's bag.

At the Lakeview, Craig shouldered past half-naked Paul into his suite, calling for Meg. He even checked under the bed! "You afraid she just stopped by for a little quickie?" Paul quipped. Craig decided Meg wasn't there, and wondered why Paul had left his cabin in the woods for posh Lakeview digs. Meanwhile, Meg clung to the ledge outside. Paul asked if Craig wanted to stick around to watch him shower and Craig pondered why Paul looked so trapped. Of course, it was Meg who was trapped, trying to climb along the ledge without being seen. Paul and Craig traded a few more jibes and threats before Craig let himself out. Then Paul bolted to the window. He talked Meg into his arms and they embraced, relieved. Downstairs, Craig asked Barbara where she'd dragged Meg off to. "Do you always intend to treat your fiancée like a pet poodle you keep on a leash?" Babs asked, before decrying their own marriage and reminding Craig about losing Rosanna and Johnny. "Where is Meg?" he snarled. Upstairs, Meg promised Paul, "This will be one of the last times I ever leave you." As Craig railed at Barbara, Meg snuck past and then "arrived" from the Ladies' room. "Why are you flushed?" he quizzed, suspiciously. Upstairs, Barbara cautioned Paul about his and Meg's eventual plans to run off together. Meg wove a satisfactory cover to Craig about fighting with Barbara. Craig admitted he thought she'd run off with Paul and then told her that, tonight, he wanted to have his wedding cake and her, too. Paul assured Barbara, "We can pull this off," and she warned him "your life is on the line, no less than that." Meg opted to wait till they were married. "Anticipation makes the heart grow fonder," she purred. Amorous Craig decided to move the wedding up and Meg hid her revulsion.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Barbara caught up with psychic Paul in Old Town. Paul told her that Meg and Craig were getting married, not Meg and him. At the Lakeview, Craig tangled with Lily and then Holden put the kibosh on Lily being Meg's matron of honor. "Where is she registered? Let's buy her fine china!" Babs groused. Paul grinned watching her rant and rave, but then admitted the whole thing was a sham. "This is a horrible, horrible idea," Babs murmured, pointing out that seeing the married Montgomerys might still inspire Paul to homicide. Elsewhere, Meg kept wisely silent — until Holden tried to storm away. She chased down her brother, who told her how wrong this all felt before collecting Lily and leaving. Craig tried to lift his fiancée's spirits by telling her his marriage to Rosanna was officially over. Meg wondered if he was going to neutralize Paul, too, and warned that this would not sit well with her. Amused by the spitfire he was wedding, Craig kissed her. Of course, Paul and Barbara saw the smooch.

Morgan enjoyed Parker's strong and silent (or surly and sullen) routine at Al's while, at the farm, JJ found poor Faith bloodied by a BB pellet. At the police station, Carly wanted Jack and "Miss Congeniality" to be sent away instead of Parker. Naturally, Katie walked in on this. Parker unloaded all his problems on Morgan. (Clearly, he should've unloaded his BB gun instead.) Shot Faith had to tell a useless JJ to get help. Katie smartly excused herself as Jack and Carly argued some more, but then frantic JJ called. Jack and Carly booked it over to the farm and Katie stayed behind to update Margo. Cousin Jack put Faith at ease with perfect bedside manner and de-BB-ed her. Lily and Holden rushed over and when Jack questioned JJ, Faith said she'd tripped over the gun while JJ was inside. Naturally, this shifted the blame straight to a returning Parker. Oops. Parker insisted he put the gun away and guilty JJ kept mum. Speaking of mums, a worried Katie was sighing about Carly to Margo when Jack called to tell her what happened. At the farm, Carly urged Parker to "drop the attitude." (If you think he dropped it, you'd be wrong.)

Margo noted Katie's penchant for "really complicated relationships," and advised her to "find a neutral corner," where Jack and Carly's kids were concerned. Then, Margo told her what their darling brother Craig was up to next and begged her to come to the wedding. They decided to pray for Meg's sanity and then go for drinks. Holden and Lily moved to take Faith to see Dr. Bob and Parker was crushed when Faith didn't believe he put the gun away. Fortunately, Carly was on his side. Outside, JJ apologized profusely, but still couldn't 'fess up that he'd framed his brother. "I don't want your help," Parker cried to Carly, swearing he'd never forget what she did. Left alone, Carly and Jack were at a loss over Parker and still at odds with each other.

When Craig got frisky, Meg put a business-speak spin on the ol' why-buy-the-cow question to keep him at bay. Barbara then showed up to drag Meg away for a lecture. Of course, it was just a ruse so Paul could rassle Meg into the elevator with kisses. When a Lakeview waiter told Craig that Babs had been seen leaving the premises alone, his Spidey senses tingled. As Meg and Paul got giggly and naked upstairs, Craig brusquely shouldered past Margo and Katie to investigate. After noting the display of brotherly love, Katie called Meg to tell her about Faith's accident but Paul pulled Meg back into bed. Meanwhile, Craig approached their love nest with a passkey.

Monday, June 11, 2007
Gwen and Will enjoyed a temporarily Cleo-free home and decided to celebrate in the "bedroom, the kitchen, and maybe the bathroom." Meanwhile, Cleo re-introduced herself to Barbara in the Lakeview hallway and praised Gwen's budding musical career to Babs. Gwen and Will ran around their house naked and christened the living room couch. Of course, then Barbara showed up. No dummy, Babs knew she'd interrupted a little love in the afternoon. She pitched that they donate profits from Gwen's finished demo to charity (tugging right at those heartstrings!). Unsettled Gwen decided to think on it and Babs ended up telling Will that Cleo had given her the idea. Will had to give the kook some credit. Just when they'd decided she wasn't so creepy after all, she unfolded from behind a rocking chair on the porch and let herself into the house. (Yeesh!) She beamed when Will told her that her demo idea had been good and hugged him when he displayed more generosity. Later, Cleo wrote in her diary: Dear Diary, I heart Will. We're meant to be. I wonder if anyone in town has a rabbit I can boil? (Watch out, Snickers!)

In fake Vegas, Alison came out of the shower complaining about Emily keeping her hooker past from her. Like any loving boyfriend, Lance changed the subject by suggesting Ali shoot some porn with a sleazy dude named Rex. Alison was, understandably, not up for it. Lance talked about how this cheap porno would be the "first step to a legit career," and assured her he'd keep meth away from her. Of course, the minute her co-star reappeared, things got out of hand and Lance smacked her around. Fortunately, Super Dusty/Savior of the Downtrodden simultaneously pounded on the door. Lance stashed Ali and played dumb, letting Dusty in. Not buying it, Dusty summarily kicked the crap out of him... Until Rex broke a vase over his head. Oops. Desperate Ali had, luckily, armed herself in the bathroom (probably while Rex was getting high), and she brandished a straight razor at Lance. Rex bolted from the "nutjob," and Lance tried to get Ali to calm down. She cut him instead. And, yes, face wounds bleed like crazy. Bloody Lance fled, too, and Ali roused Dusty, who comforted her as she wept.

At the farm, Jack threatened to send pouty Parker to a Bad Kids' Camp. Carly stormed in, putting the kibosh on any such thing. Jack instructed Parker to put his BB gun away and then he and Carly moved their discussion outside. "Maybe he just needs some understanding?" Carly suggested. Jack wasn't having any of Carly's opinions. Inside, JJ and Parker echoed their parents' bickering. Carly refused to turn her back on her kids and Jack pointed out they could turn their backs on her first. As the argument escalated, threats were exchanged. "I will be a part of my children's lives," Carly warned. "That's rich," Jack drawled, citing her great love for Simon. "It's all about you: you, you, you. What you want." They went back to their separate corners and a snippy Jack had to lay down the law with the boys. Later, Jack opened up to Tom about Parker's troubles and wanting to legally adopt him. Of course, Carly burst in on the meeting and refused to let Jack take her kids from her. At home, Parker disobeyed Jack's edict and went to show Morgan the horses while JJ decided to frame his stepbrother for mischief by misplacing his BB gun. Tom wisely told Carjack to talk things through before they tore their kids apart. He left, and they yelled things through. (Inside voices, people!) Carly wondered if Jack was doing all this because he still loved her. "I don't love you," he assured, emphatically, which just riled her into assuring him she wouldn't back down. Back down on the farm, Faith tripped over JJ's BB gun and got shot.

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