Friday, June 22, 2007
For once, Meg's strip show didn't really work for Craig, who made her put on a see-through robe so that he could focus, while he grilled her on how she'd duped him. She angrily pointed out that he knew she didn't love him; he argued that he didn't expect her to sneak around with "that hallucinogenic parasite" and blurted out that he was hoping they could find happiness together (and therefore he could change). His plea for her compassion didn't work, because she remembers exactly what he did to Lily and Lucinda. "It was loathsome," she hissed. "And I couldn't give you another pass." Then she twisted the knife, admitting that if the FauxRo ploy had worked, she never would have had to marry him. He was pretty surprisingly devastated; of course Meg ended up looking a little guilty and of course he slipped a drug into her tea. She was trying to make sure he wouldn't go after Paul when she passed out. After gently laying his sleeping beauty in bed, Craig used her phone to summon Paul via text message, then rooted around in his suitcase. Paul was trying to get some psychic reception from his locket when the text came in. He dashed off breathlessly to the cliff, where Craig greeted him ... with a gun.

When Emily called him on his sketchy recollection of his Vegas vacation with Alison, Dusty (running out of improv skills like Alison yesterday) covered his guilt by apologizing for having said mean or degrading things to Emily in the past. She thanked him for being honest and supportive. A photographer arrived for a meeting about The Intruder, and Dusty expressed his delight at seeing her back on the job. The photographer complimented them on how well they work together and took off; they celebrated their friendship with ice cream and flirting.

Alison made a bunch of excuses to avoid Aaron, who noted that he can tell when she's lying at this point in their relationship. She seized on his calling her a "liar" to be angry, but he pressed on, and suddenly we boarded the Exposition Express. Here's the breakdown of Ali and Aaron's (off-screen) break-up, which they hashed out for each other as if they each had amnesia: He apparently shut her out while his mom was sick, and also they were a little young for "all that heavy stuff," meaning future plans; she felt neglected, especially because when he wasn't working at a bar in Seattle or with his mother, he was hanging out with his high school friends, including some girl named Tara; Ali thought he was cheating, so she cheated on him in retaliation; Aaron responded by calling her a whore. (Also, Julie is in remission again.) But that's the long and detailed past: he sweetly apologized for being an idiot and emotionally said that he lost everything that matters to him when she left. He wants to make it up to her, starting right now. She wasn't done reminiscing, though, and instead reminded him about all the story we saw before she left town last time. Aaron wanted to know if they could get back together. "My life will be empty without you," he said. "It's too late for us," she insisted melodramatically, before leaving.

Cleo was overwhelmed (showing all of the nervous goofiness that that implies with this character) by Gwen's gift of her very first copy of the her new demo CD — on which Gwen jokingly quizzed them about how many songs feature Will. “Only all of them,” blurted Cleo awkwardly, adding, “I'm very intuitive ... when it comes to obvious stuff.” Both she and Will then urged Gwen to call Noah about his contacts. Noah showed up right away and offered to help her get a gig at the Branson, MO benefit. He warned her the concert and activities would be hectic so he suggested she get an assistant. Will turned down the job, so (after passive-aggressively wishing her luck and requesting that she send a postcard) Cleo was hired. The superfan squealed with joy. Will worried about Cleo's over enthusiasm, then suggested that he and Gwen make the trip a mini honeymoon. Done! Soon, Noah reported that she's been invited to the concert, and Kim also wants to send a crew to document the whole trip. Cleo scribbled madly in her diary about how it was her best day ever. "Being in Branson will be the start of our lives together," she wrote of "W" before hugging Will's effigy (a pillow with his shirt on it.)

Thursday, June 21 2007
Aaron finally reconnected with Holden and the rest of the Snyders (including Ethan), but everyone was kind of preoccupied about Meg. He, of course, was focused on Alison. He was sweetly nervous about seeing her again, admitting that they had a pretty rough breakup. Holden wondered whether he'd be sticking around. "That depends on Alison," answered Aaron, as his ex-girlfriend returned to the Lakeview with Dusty, begging him to discuss their sleepy-time sex. Dusty didn't think it was necessary to rehash the mistake, but Ali was feeling really guilty about Emily. "I don't think I can ever face her again," she said, barely finishing before she ... faced her again. Alison, who won't win any acting awards (but her genre wasn't really about the acting, was it?) couldn't improv a good excuse for the overheard line, so she hemmed and hawed until she finally claimed she was just sorry for the things she'd said. Em was relieved, but still a little concerned that Ali didn't seem completely comforted. So after Ali left, she sat Dusty down to grill him about Vegas. He gave her all the dish — save the sleepy-time sex stuff. That's what he flashed back to when she thanked him again, and then he deflected her gratitude so much that she wondered what else he isn't saying. At Al's, Alison got a bad reception from her boss, but he reluctantly hired the waitress with the worst attitude and spotty attendance record back. Outside, she ran into Aaron, who broke into a genuinely loving smile when he saw her.

In their honeymoon cabin, Craig creepily clung to Meg in his sleep, but when she slipped out of his arms to make a call, he caught her of course, and they started their dangerous dance again, with him dangling the legal papers and pointing out that entering into a marriage with no intention of being "fully committed" was grounds for annulment.

Holden was a nervous wreck about Meg and made it clear to Lily that he wasn't very happy with her mother right now, either. She worried that sending out the search party for Meg could blow her cover, and Paul might be handling it. He evenly noted that his sister has effectively been kidnapped by Craig, "and I'm supposed to be okay that Paul's on the case? Dependable, level-headed Paul?" Good point, which was driven home by the fact that Paul (having already hired a hipster-looking P.I. to search for Meg in Vancouver) was, at that moment, weakly calling the hotels pretending to be Holden as he asked about Meg. Clearly feeling impotent to help his love, Paul also lashed out at Lucinda (who showed up claiming to want to help) by noting that she only cares about her company, and therefore herself. When she left, he fingered the locket. "What have I done?" he sighed.

Meg was actually doing just fine without him. Weary of Craig's games, she confronted him about his incessant demands for conjugal rights, forcing him to finally break it to her that he heard her with Paul. "Don't you think that you should at least change the wedding dress before you start making out with your boyfriend?" he snarked. She feigned ignorance for a bit before dropping the act and copping to her deception. So what now? A tightly coiled Craig gave a much-need explanatory speech about his motivations, managing to be both scary and shrewd and even a little pathetic at the same time. He claimed he never completely trusted her (which doesn't explain his pained expression upon confirming her betrayal, but whatever). He also questioned Paul's intelligence, specifically his decision to talk to Meg at the church when he knew her new husband was in the same building (thank you!), hilariously asking, "Isn't there a little voice inside you that says, 'This man is an idiot?' " But, as it turns out, none of this has really deterred Craig: he still wants Meg, even though he now knows for sure that she doesn't want him. But first, he wants to settle things with Paul; specifically, he wants "closure." Interpreting that as a serious threat to Paul, Meg started stripping.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007
When Jack brought him back to Milltown, Parker paused in the threshold, having forgotten how much he missed the place. "I know exactly what you mean," said Carly, as they both looked over at a pained Jack, who agreed to let Parker stay the night. Before he left to pick up Parker's things for the night, Jack warned Carly that he's still a very troubled boy, so it's going to take some time to get through to him. She assured him that she gets it, and used music to get her son to open up — she put on a song he used to love as a kid, then went to grab him some more juice. When she came back, her son was missing. She found him sitting on the porch, crying. "I am so, so sorry," he cried. They had a tender scene as she assured him that he had every right to be angry and promised she'd never leave him again.

At Al's, Katie left a message for Jack, that she worried would seem too pushy, then nervously waited for a return call. He caught her before she left and they sorted out the latest misunderstanding caused by Brad, and he invited her to spend tonight and tomorrow with him. Too bad she's got to go out of town on business. He flirtatiously offered to "help her pack" (wink, wink) later, then stopped by Milltown, where he found Carly curled up on the couch with Parker. The sleepy boy gave both his parents a hug, then went upstairs to bed. Jack was wowed that Supermom Carly solved a few months' worth of problems in a few hours. He apologized, calling her an amazing mother. He agreed to set up a barbecue for her and all the kids. "They need you. They need you so much," he said tenderly. She was touched to hear him say that, and that's when Katie (who had been waiting in the car) interrupted yet another charged moment between them. Carly kindly thanked her for watching the kids, and Katie graciously responded that they're great kids. After exchanging charged "good night"s with Carly, Jack left with his new girlfriend.

At WOAK, Luke dropped a stack of boxes full of tapes in front of Noah. They brushed hands as they picked them up, which put a goofy look on Luke's face. Maddie interrupted the moment with news that she had to go to Old(e) Town(e) to make copies and Luke volunteered Noah to accompany her. “Dammit,” he said to himself, as they walked away. Jade arrived, having lost the “J” necklace that she loves (along with many of our readers) and recognized that something's wrong with him. He confessed that he's fallen for another straight guy. “Getting a crush on Noah is like shopping for bread in a hardware store,” he lamented to his sympathetic cousin. He then decided to work through his feelings by writing a story for the interns' Web series project.

Noah and Maddie ran into Elwood, who wondered if she'd heard from Casey. The encounter forced Maddie to finally explain to Noah that her boyfriend's in the slammer. He responded that Casey's lucky to have a girl like her waiting for him. They read Luke's script outline — about an unlucky-in-love girl who decides not to settle for the wrong guy anymore — and gushed about how brilliant he is at characterization. Noah asked about his inspiration, inspiring another cutely goofy grin from Luke.

At the Lakeview wedding reception, Paul was in a tizzy about the bride and groom's tardiness. Lucinda tried to keep him calm, but the Lakeview manager soon reported that the Montgomerys had indeed decided to forgo the reception to jet off to their honeymoon. Paul had the expected freak-out and went back to the church to ask God for a sign, holding Meg's locket. The vision he got was rocks falling off of a cliff into water, so not a good sign. Meanwhile, in a location we later learned was near Vancouver (fast plane!) Craig toyed with Meg, ominously hinting at betrayals and pointing out the steep drop off their balcony, while she kept trying (and failing) to make a phone call and growing more panicked by the minute. She trepidatiously asked her new husband if they could skip sex on their wedding night, then watched his plastered-on grin slip a little in reaction. When she changed into her nightgown later, he creepily assured her that all he wants to lay down next to her and "listen to her breathe." And that's what he did, hovering over her as she tried not to lose her composure.

Back in Oakdale, Lucinda had summoned an air traffic controller contact, who balked at her and Paul's request to report all the small jets that took off from the airport in the past couple of hours. "How much will it take to make it legal?" purred Lucinda, with her biggest bribery smile. Whatever it was, she had it, because the guy came up with Vancouver in no time. La Walsh thanked him; when she turned around, Paul was gone already, practically in a puff of smoke. He was already speeding off in his car, promising to pay a pilot triple the money to fly him to Vancouver tonight. He could have saved himself some cash if only he remembered that he has his own pilot's license.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007
At the Lakeview bar, Henry and Vienna teased Brad for clearly having the hots for Katie. " just don't get it.... Why so many men fall for Katie," the heiress wondered innocently. Once Brad had enough of Katie talk, Henry and Vienna were left alone, where she brightly mused that she loves seeing Henry in uniform, and wouldn't it be "amusing" if they both got jobs?! (Spoken with the kind of excitement and curiosity one uses when suggesting they adopt a puppy.) Henry, of course, was far less enthusiastic about rejoining the work force. Her big idea? A (presumably upscale) massage parlor. It's too bad Rose is dead, because they might have made an interesting partnership. Instead, she suggested that Henry go into business with her; he didn't mention that he once ran a gym, where they could have also used a masseuse, but he agreed to give her healing hands a try.

At the church, after waylaying an interruption-minded Paul and sternly encouraging him to do the right thing and let his girlfriend marry another guy for the greater good, a relieved Lucinda got back to her seat in time to let out a relieved sigh into her handkerchief as Meg hesitated, then answered "I will." The bride stole a moment to secretly meet with Paul after; he begged her to dump Craig and fly away with him right now. She insisted on going to the wedding reception before running out on her brand new husband, but promised they would be together soon. Craig overheard, of course, and actually looked a little surprised and sickened that Meg had lied to him, as Paul and Meg shared a passionate parting kiss. Craig came back for Meg without letting on that he knows, then ominously announced that they're not going to the reception. Lucinda was there, trying to get the other guests to start celebrating, but the bride and groom never showed.

Faith told Jack and Carly about the painting Paul once described that the kids loved; she suggested that Parker might have gone to see it in a special exhibition at the Art Institute of Chicago. After leaving the kids with Katie, Jack and Carly rushed off to the Windy City. Brad found a stressed Katie prepping dinner for the kids. Once he heard about all the things that have gone wrong, he called Parker and confidently left him a message entreating him to come home, then instantly launched into his typical talk of how Jack and Carly are only going to get closer during the crisis. Katie had absolutely no patience for his button-pushing and threatened him at wooden spoon point to either be helpful or get out. But Brad knows his brother: sure enough, Jack was in the car to Chicago, taking a worried sick Carly's hand to comfort her. Meanwhile, poor little Parker avoided a Chicago cop, then curled up outside of the museum with a bottle of water and a candy bar, as the sky threatened rain, where his parents randomly found him. Though he struggled, Jack basically held him in a bear hug until the boy calmed down. Then, in a fantastically poignant father-son scene, Carly watched quietly as Jack apologized to Parker for stupidly considering sending him away. Carly then offered to take her son home to Milltown, where they didn't have to talk if he didn't want to, but he also wouldn't have to see J.J. and everyone else who lives at the packed Snyder Farm.

Brad backed down and good-naturedly offered to help Katie with dinner. While they got to work, J.J. fretted to Faith that after his mom died, Jack took him in, so if he gets in trouble, Jack might not want him anymore. (He could give old Uncle Keith a call.) Brad and Katie then had a cute and flirtatious little scene over dinner with all the fantastic Snyder kids who hadn't run away from home. Brad even made balloon animals later, which delighted both Sage and Katie. Jack then called to let Katie know that he's taking Parker over to Carly's, so she should go home since it'll be awhile. Unfortunately, he left that message with Brad, who delivered it with a lot less appreciation than intended.

Monday, June 18, 2007
Meg was sitting in a pew, all dressed up for her wedding and looking like she might vomit when Emma arrived. "It's not too late to get out of this" Momma told her, but Meg needed to stay on track with her cockamamie plan. "Marriage is sacred," argued Emma. "You are playing with fire." Meanwhile, Lily tried to talk some sense into Paul about Meg's plan to marry Craig. She noted that Holden — who is boycotting the whole affair — seemed more upset about it than Paul, who slyly announced that this would be the beginning of the end for Craig. She urged him to forget about Craig and think about Meg.

The groom was getting some of Margo and Tom's brilliantly sarcastic good wishes — and preparing to sign over the company to his bride — when Lucinda showed up. She was quick to get a chuckle over the fact that Craig had gotten a new "ME" sign; he pointed out that "some maniac" destroyed his last one. She responded with some ribbing about Meg's likely infidelity, but he didn't bite because he's convinced that he can trust Meg.

Paul met with a giddy Lucinda, who reported that Craig signed the papers. In a typically sparkling scene, they discussed Craig's inevitable downfall (though she was far more optimistic about it). Once Lucinda left, Paul clutched Meg's locket and had another scary vision of the wedding rings before dashing out to interrogate the jewelry saleswoman. He was horrified to realize that Craig had bought the "cursed" rings from his vision.

"You take my breath away," whispered Craig, creepily sneaking up behind his bride, who was in final preparations to walk down the aisle. He insisted that he loves her and wants to make her happy, but with zero hour approaching, Meg was becoming more trepidatious, and made it clear she just wanted to dump all of the romantic mumbo jumbo and get on with the nups already. He dangled the signed contract papers in front of her, but wouldn't hand them over until after they said "I do." Emma interrupted them to get the wedding started. "Should I call you Momma from now on?" asked her son-in-law to be. "I don't think so, big boy," answered an uncharacteristically snarky Emma.

Thanks to a critical unnamed work matter, Tom had to beg out of the ceremony, responding to Margo's dry query about what he had to pay to get someone to call with a fabricated work problem by joking that it's killing him to miss the Craig/Meg nups: "It's like watching a boa constrictor with a mouse." They engaged in some witty repartee about how Craig forced a bunch of ME employees to attend the wedding before parting ways. The mood was similar for Lily, who wore all black and told her mother: “This is not a wedding. This is a human sacrifice.” Lucinda snagged herself a front-row seat as everyone — the groom included — waited to see if the bride would bolt before making it to the altar.

J.J. and Faith had a heart-to-heart about why he felt the need to frame Parker for Faith's shooting. J.J., who clearly has a bit of a crush on the girl who's hung up on his brother, claimed he did it because he just wants his family to be happy again. He feared that if he tells the truth, he'll be the one to get sent away, and he's the "good" kid. Still, she urged him to tell his parents the truth because it's the right thing to do for his brother.

Carly tried to reason with Jack, begging him to team with her to help Parker instead of sending him away. But Jack thought that the best thing for Parker is to fix his bad habits now, tough love-style. Katie unfortunately chose that inopportune moment to interrupt, on her way to the wedding. "You be sure to tell that brother of yours not to have a second thought about Rosanna," snarked Carly, awesomely. Jack told her he couldn't make it to the wedding because he wants to spend every last second with Parker. After Jack again rejected Carly's pleas to try a different tactic with Parker, he went off with Katie, leaving Carly mumbling about Katie's role in her family's life. "Talking to yourself," Parker snidely noted, walking in on her. "Guess I'm not the only one who's crazy." His mother, near the end of her rope, sharply mentioned that she just stood up for him with Jack, so he might want to drop the attitude and help her figure out a way to prove his innocence, but he was moodily resigned to his fate.

At Al's, Jack second-guessed his decision about Parker, mostly because Carly's tearful pleas on their son's behalf totally got to him. That didn't thrill Katie, who did “what Margo told [her] not to do” and suggested that Carly had a lot of nerve. Jack didn't appreciate that either, who still thinks that there's more to the story, which Carly obviously senses. He was specifically curious about why Parker hasn't really tried to defend himself. "Maybe he'd rather go to this camp than be a part of the family," he worried.

Carly eavesdropped on Parker's cryptic stand-off with J.J. outside, then slyly talked to her other son about the perils of lying, in an attempt to coax him into a confession. It didn't really work, though — J.J. simply admitted that he wants Parker to stay and that he's also a Carjack fan all the way — so she asked him point-blank if Parker's lying about what happened with the gun. That worked: he confessed to Carly, then to Jack later. Jack assured J.J. that neither he nor Parker would be shipped away, and was clearly impressed by Carly's investigative skills, so he apologized to her and they shared a charged moment in front of Katie. J.J. went out to report the news to Parker, only to find that he'd run away, for good.

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