A fairy tale-style voiceover recapped Johnny's custody issues and Meg's problems with Paul. The voice also introduced Margo, Katie, and Parker, Carly, Jack, Liberty, and Johnny's great great uncle Bob. Then, Liberty's eyes lit upon a fairy tale book in an Old Town shop window. She dragged Parker to buy the book for Johnny. They showed up at Craig's to start reading.

Story One: Pinocchio

Parker played Pinocchio to Jack's Gepetto. Jackpetto wished his wooden son could talk, and Carly's Blue Fairy appeared to grant his wish. Jackpetto got all distracted by her hotness and invited her into his "cucina" to see his "mortadella." Before shooing Pinocchio off on his own, the Blue Fairy created him Liberty Cricket and said his nose would grow with every lie. Parkernocchio and Liberty Cricket ran into fur-clad Craig and Carly, who tempted the puppet with material wealth and vodka! Craig and Carly stole Parker's stuff, he lied to the Blue Fairy and his nose grew. He copped to the truth. Then, Jackpetto appeared, choking on his mortadella, and Parkernocchio gave him the Heimlich. The blue Fairy rewarded the puppet by turning him into a real boy.

Johnny loved the story and demanded more! Barbara, who dropped by, read the next tale.

Story Two: Beauty and the Beast

Dr. Bob, playing Beauty's father, took shelter at Fairwinds and took a rose for his daughter. Paul's biker guy Beast snarled at him for the theft and demanded he offer up his sexy dark-haired daughter. Meg, all sassy and white-clad, soon appeared to critique the Beast's look. Over time, the Beast fell in love and then proposed. Beauty just wasn't that into him. But when the Beast collapsed, she ran back to him and kissed him. He morphed into hot, clean-shaven Prince Paul and they lived happily ever after.

The kids adjourned to Al's for burgers and another story, which Dusty offered to read.

Story Three: Rumpelstiltskin

Prince Dusty interviewed for a wife. The resume for Meg the miller's daughter claimed she could turn paper into gold. Well, before he gave her the job, she had to prove it! He gave her a night to live up to the resume's false advertising or she'd be killed! Craig's Rumpelstiltskin helped her out of the paper jam in exchange for her firstborn child. It worked and Prince Dusty married Meg. A year later, Craigpelstiltskin showed up for their daughter. When Meg sobbed, he said he wouldn't take the baby if she guessed his name. Meg had to tell Prince Dusty the truth; he luckily didn't mind her deception. Even luckier, Prince Dusty overheard Craigpelstiltskin crowing his name at Yo's. Meg successfully guessed his name the next morning and she, Dusty, and the baby lived happily ever after.

Craig interrupted story hour and then it was his turn to read!

Story Four: Cinderella

Barbara was the tackily dressed wicked stepmother to Craig's Cinderfella. Margo and Katie played ugly stepsisters, dressed just as tackily, who announced a ball was being thrown. Poor Cinderfella didn't get to go. Parker appeared as his very Jersey, gold-chain wearing, not-a-fairy godfather and sent him to the ball. White tux clad Cinderfella was quite the hit with Princess Carly. But before he could kiss her, the clock struck 12 and he fled. Carly swooned right into a coma! The next morning, her man-at-arms, Jack, announced all the men in the kingdom were to report to the palace and try to kiss her awake. Even Cinderfella. Sure enough, he kissed the princess, and she awoke. "Plant another one on me, Tiger," she sighed. They lived happily ever after!

Meg and Eliza visited Craig's, so it was Meg's turn to read.

Story Five: The Wizard of Oz

Meg's Dorothy wandered about Central Park en route to the Emerald City and encountered the whimsical, brainless Dustycrow. They then ran into Craig's heartless Tin Man. Paul's Cowardly Lion (very heavy metal rocker) roared at them. When they laughed, he admitted he wanted to see the Wizard, too. Soon enough, the witch, Barbara, appeared. Since Dorothy and her pals were ill-equipped, Dr. Bob's Wizard appeared to melt the witch — and grant their wishes! Of course, all the guys' wishes were now to go home with Dorothy. Not having it, she followed Margo the Good Witch's instructions, clicked her heels, and went home solo!

The last tale did the trick, putting Johnny to sleep. Alone, Craig cradled his son and whispered, "They all lived happily ever after."