Friday, February 3, 2006
Having bailed on some lame party, Casey picked up about six DVDs of old movies and popped up a whole bowl of popcorn to await Maddie's return home. Too bad for him that when she arrived, looking slow-motion hot, she was still on a date with Nate — and asked Casey to make himself scarce upstairs. After Casey toolishly (but sweetly) tried to make Maddie look childish and girly to Nate (all of which her date only found endearing), then tried to make Nate look like a two-timer to Maddie, he finally headed off to his pity party. Nate then shifted from Seth Cohen to super-suave in seconds and put the move on Maddie, who squirmed away from his kisses until Nate assured her that the “other woman” was actually his sister, for whom he performs many sweet big brotherly acts of kindness because he's meant to be like the anti-Casey, who was busy trying to get Margo to intervene on Maddie's supposedly sketchy new boyfriend inside. Margo didn't bite (Nate's a valedictorian, for goodness sake) and saw right through her son: he's jealous. Casey's last-ditch effort was to interrupt Maddie and Nate's kissing outside by claiming that he had to take out the garbage. It looked like all his attempts to get under Maddie's skin worked, though, because she had been fantasizing that she was kissing Casey instead of poor Nate. Still, she was annoyed with Casey for putting the kibosh (Kibosh? From a teenager?!) on her date.

It turns out that Luke hit a young lady with his car; Lily and Holden pulled up just as he was freaking out and trying to help her. They got her to the hospital, where Holden railed at his grounded son for lying and going out, and even accused him of getting drunk. Luke was swearing that he hadn't been drinking, when Margo showed up to give him a breathalyzer test, which he promptly passed with flying colors. While waiting to learn the fate of the girl, the Snyders tried to have their heart-to-heart with Luke about what's been bothering him. Once again, Holden and Luke danced around the same subject while Lily seemed several steps behind. Holden finally asked his son to verbalize what's wrong. Luke was about to come out with it when they got word that his victim had woken up. In her room, the groggy girl hazily looked at the family, focusing on Lily. “You,” she smiled, making the Princess uncomfortable.

Lisa brought some flowers and tough love for Barbara, who tried to plead her Gwen-hating Casey and got a big dose of no-nonsense advice from her oldest friend. Lisa feels bad for Gwen and awesomely pointed out that Babs alienated one son and she'll just drive Will further away unless she backs off. It was a nice gesture, but Barbara, not surprisingly, didn't look like she'll be changing her m.o. anytime soon. Gwen tried to talk Will out of robbing Barbara, noting that his mother was right: she's a bad influence on him and he's lost everything because of her. He insisted that she's the best thing that's ever happened to him and reminded her that Barbara's the reason Rose is dead (that name has been on everyone's lips) and his life was almost ruined. After determining that Barbara must have threatened to every potential employer in town to keep them jobless and out of each other's bed, Will finally convinced Gwen that his way was the only way, and off they went to start their thievin' new lifestyle. (And though he wanted to go it alone, she insisted on standing by her man.) At Barbara's suite, Will found her hidden cash and only seemed to take about half of it. They were almost out the door when Babs caught them and started in on Gwen again and immediately tried to call the cops, which sent Will into a bit of a rage. With both mother and son in zeal to reach the phone, the disaster was inevitable: Will shook her off of his arm, causing her to lose her balance and fall headfirst (hard!) into a table.

Paul was approaching a sobbing Jen when Dusty arrived with Johnny (hey there, kiddo!) and took immediate, somewhat heartless charge of the situation. He insisted that Jen shouldn't blame herself for anything, and even wanted to destroy the letter. He listed the reasons for Jen to drop her guilt about Paul (while trying but failing to watch his language around the baby) before convincing her to leave the creepy penthouse to meet Barbara for dinner. “It feels almost like Paul's still here,” she shuddered, telling Johnny he would have liked his uncle (as if he ever would have been allowed to see him) and saying good-bye. “Not good-bye, Jennifer. Not yet,” he said, coming out of the shadows to put on some sunglasses and a hat before leaving with his bag, which he suddenly had no trouble carrying with his dead arm.

Thursday, February 2, 2006
Emily freaked out so much when she heard Paul’s voice on the phone that she hung up. When he called back (out of concern for Meg), she forced Henry to answer as the operator, then impatiently snatched the phone away to talk to her presumed-dead fiancé. Paul hung up as soon as he realized it was her, and even awesomely recognized Henry’s voice. It made him nervous enough to: burn all of the evidence that he’s been there; have a brief hallucination of Emily threatening him; and pack up his stuff to flee. Taking a hilariously long beat to use his one good arm to nudge the messenger bag over his head with a painful wince, he took off — and got about three feet out the front door before collapsing.

While waiting for their table at the Lakeview (although surely Princess Lily would be seated immediately), the Snyders discussed Luke’s problems. Holden thought that he failed their son; Lily continued to believe it’s just “typical teen stuff.” Holden even thought that his inability to connect with Luke anymore has to do with the fact that he’s not his biological father (aww) but Lily insisted that was nonsense, and that Luke is actually just like Holden. He didn’t really see the comparison, but agreed with her suggestion to skip their romantic dinner and go home to spend time with their son.

At the teen party, a preoccupied Luke ignored his beer and listened to Kevin’s counseling about parental subterfuge, clearly wrestling with the fact that he really wants to spend some more quality alone time with his best friend and be considered cool, but he’s also trying to be a good son. When Holden called to give him a heads-up that they were coming home early, Luke almost seemed relieved, but he had to haul it home to beat his parents. On the way, Kev called to sweet-talk an apology, but Luke basically broke up with him, saying "he can't do this anymore." He spent so much time staring at his cell phone while closing it and tossing it aside that he ended up hitting someone with his car.

Cass (Hi Cass!) showed up to discuss Paul’s legal affairs with Barbara (who has been specifically ordered to have no involvement) and Jennifer (just the opposite: she’s his executrix). Jen didn’t want anything to do with Paul’s money, but Cass pointed out that she has no choice, since Babs is forbidden and Will’s too young. Barbara was really pushing for Jennifer to take care of it to keep gold-digging Gwen away, which prompted Jen to defend Will’s girl, who hardly touched the trust fund Rosanna set up for Johnny (nice to know someone remembers that!). After finally relenting, Jen went to the penthouse — where someone has been rearranging the furniture — and found a letter from her brother in the safe, about how sorry he was that he’d failed her and how he’s likely gone to hell. He left Will a “small trust fund” (well, at least he remembered his brother), but Jen gets the bulk of the massive estate. Furthermore, Paul most regrets not getting to know and spend time with his nephew Johnny (as if Jen even spends that much time with him). She was moved to tears — as an apparently-not-quite-as-smelly-as-he-looks Paul stood unnoticed behind her, presumably having woken up from his unconscious state, hiked down the mountain, stumbled unnoticed through town, scaled up the building and sneaked in through the bedroom balcony. All in the space of time it took Jen to find and read the letter (or two commercial breaks).

Emily and Henry found some muddy shoes of Meg’s and expertly deduced that this particular mud could only have come from the bluff, which triggered Em’s memory of seeing Paul in the cabin when she was lost in the fog. When they got there, it was empty, but very, very warm. After checking the fireplace, they found a scrap of Paul’s driver’s license: incontrovertible proof to Em that Paul's alive.

Wednesday, February 1, 2006
Emily and Henry found scads of receipts for gas in Meg's room, showing that she's been doing a lot of driving and goes to different stations to fill up her tank. It was enough to convince Em that the lack of routine and sudden riches mean that Meg's helping Paul. Incidentally, why is Henry — not Emily — dressed as a maid? Wouldn't that have required a lot less effort? Anyway, despite Henry's protests that Paul is probably dead, Em thought otherwise, and was determined to get to the truth. At the cabin, when Meg protested Paul's suggestion that she leave without him, he tenderly grabbed her hand and held it the whole time that he apologized for showing up at his funeral (thus putting their entire operation in jeopardy) and gave her the (somewhat selfless) reasons that she'd be better off skipping town alone. In case we didn't notice that on our own (as if) the director helpfully gave us a close-up of their hands as Meg and Paul self-consciously broke contact, and she finally agreed. She went back to her room (where Henry and Emily were forced to scramble behind the curtain to hide), while Paul was left to be tickled by the detailed, no-nonsense instructions she left on his pill bottles and goofily declare to himself that he misses his nurse already. During her packing and with much hijinks, Emily and Henry were able to trade Meg's cell phone with an untraceable one similar enough that she didn't notice. From that, they learned that Meg has been calling the same number quite often — so Emily dialed it and of course Paul answered, with a "Hello? Meg? Hello?"

Gwen, having fashioned herself a mini ponytail between yesterday and today — in the middle of yelling at Barbara! — continued her tirade at the Lakeview, also begging Lisa to believe her. Despite the addition of Will's pleas and insistence that his mother is behind this, Lisa couldn't afford to take a chance, and ordered Gwen out of her uniform and her free room. This delighted Barbara, of course, but she went too far when, in a tour-de-force monologue of nastiness, she brutally predicted Gwen's miserable, depressing future. It upset the teen so much that she grabbed Babs by the arm, and told her in front of several witnesses that she hated her and she'd find a way to make her pay. Sure, that won't come back to haunt her. To her credit, Lisa was disgusted by all this business and, frankly, suspicious (she even checked to see if Barbara was acquainted with the client who lost the necklace). Babs later stashed the necklace in a maid's cart (wouldn't it be fun if it were Henry's?). With her self-esteem at its nadir, Gwen later told Will that his mother was right, forcing him to once again reassure her that he really, really loves her. Finally, Gwen decided that her only option is to go live with Carly, as if that's so awful. Will had a "better" idea: they'll just steal the money they need from his mother.

Holden was caught red-handed with Luke's computer. After first enduring Luke's anger and then fending off Lily's snooping about his snooping, Holden got his son alone and implored him to share his problems, promising that "there's nothing you could ever say or do that could make your mom or me hate you." Holden then suggested that surely Luke confides in Kevin, who seems to Holden like an "outsider" as well. That changed the tone considerably, as father and son danced around the topic that seemed to be on both of their minds. After they reached a truce of sorts, Holden went off to dinner with Lily, who thinks Luke's problems sound like "typical teenage stuff" but sensed that Holden was holding out on his real concerns. Meanwhile Luke escaped to see his friends, including Kevin, who immediately handed him a beer.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Luke was cold to Lily for denying him the chance to see Kevin, then threw a teenage snit when he caught Faith violating his civil liberties by snooping on his computer. Holden walked in on the siblings' squabble, and learned that Luke has a blog, while Lily eventually calmed things down by suggesting they all skip school/work and have a family day. She and Luke went out to run some errands, while Holden grabbed his first chance alone to hack into his son's computer (thanks to Luke's password carelessness). After a second of apparent speed-reading, Holden looked very confused and upset. He later read aloud for our benefit: apparently if Luke's parents "find out the truth, they'll hate me." While he was getting caught up on blogs, Luke and Lily ran into Kevin at Java, causing Luke to get all defensive on the way home. It got worse when he walked in to find his dad taking some homeland security measures on his laptop.

Paul had a nightmare about Emily arriving at the cabin to finish the job of killing him. He woke up determined to get out of the cabin before he and Meg are detected — but first he sent her to the bank to pick up his entire safety deposit box. Once that was done, Meg spent the day lugging it around while dodging Emily and Henry, who tailed her all over town, while trying blend into the foliage. After they lost Meg at Java, Henry had no choice but to — what else? — drag it up as a maid to gain access to Meg's room at the Lakeview. Having successfully lost her trackers, Meg got back to the cabin and Paul opened the box, which turned out to be full of "rainy day" cash. He grabbed a handful and told her to take it and leave — without him.

While Will and Gwen re-re-re-confirmed their love and devotion with a kiss, Barbara confronted Lisa about giving her son's girlfriend a job. Lisa stood her ground, pointing out that at least they're not living together and suggesting that Babs give Gwen a chance. She was calling her on her clinging obsessively to Will now that her first son is dead when she got word that a hotel guest was missing her diamond necklace. Babs eavesdropped as Lisa talked to the client, who accusatorially described Gwen as her maid. Later, Barbara found the necklace under the couch, and stuffed it in her purse. Gwen was busy giving Will a present (a joint bank account she set up with her first paycheck) when Lisa called her in to grill her about the theft. Lisa ended up firing Gwen, who wasn't stupid: she instantly confronted Barbara for framing her.

Monday, January 30, 2006
Barbara flipped out on Henry for bringing Emily to the memorial — even accusing him of trying to "cash in" on her son's death by romancing Paul's former fianceé — but Dusty managed to calm her down. The ceremony continued with the minister urging the family to come together with love and forgiveness, which seemed to especially resonate with Will and Babs. Meanwhile, Emily overheard Paul's conversation with a livid Meg, who was done "conspiring with a dead man." Meg went inside long enough for Paul to escape while Em confronted her. Once they were outside (no Paul in sight), Meg urged Henry to take Emily home and "get her some help." Henry had a better idea: "lots of drinks with little umbrellas." As Meg sassily told off Dusty when he gave her guff for showing up at the memorial. "Don't get all sanctimonious on me. I'm here to dance on the man's grave and so are you," she snapped, awesomely.

Hen and Em headed to the Lakeview, where they practically wrestled over a martini as Emily fretted about her insane behavior at the funeral and her belief that Paul is alive — and Meg knows. He tried to talk her out of that notion ("He's a rag merchant, he's not an Olympic athlete. He's dead."), but she had already moved on to "taking care" of Meg, which naturally made him nervous. But Em's nutty mind was made up: she demanded his help following Meg, tapping her phone and reading her mail. "If she's on to us, we shut her up. For good," Em finished ominously.

Back at the cabin, Paul was basking in the fact that his family seemed really bummed that he's dead while also relapsing, as Meg (who saved plenty of sass for Paul) scolded him for jeopardizing everything for his own selfish reasons, as usual, and for his delusions about the likelihood that all will be forgiven once Babs, Will and Jen learn that he's alive. He doesn't think that the Em factor is such a huge problem: Meg just has to convince Em that she's wrong.

As Jennifer and Gwen (finally) had an update chat about Johnny/ex-Billy, Barbara reached out to Will, parroting the minister's words back to him. Of course, her idea of coming together was to try to guilt him into moving back in with her by whining about how much she needs him now that Paul is dead, how Johnny needs a man around the house, how she's worried that he won't finish school. "Gwen is my family now" Will said, shutting her down as usual, prompting Barbara to give Gwen the kind of look that said, "You're about to be shipped to a Swiss spa, missy." Upon learning that Gwen got a job from Lisa, Babs made a call to have a "chat" with her old friend. Gwen later thanked Will for standing up for her, but also pointed out that he should be spending time with his sister and nephew. Also at the church, Dusty and Jennifer later had yet another conversation about how they shouldn't concern themselves with Meg anymore.

After Mike and Margo helped break up Jack and Nick's rumble at Yo's, Jack apologized and tried to make up for the childishness (and for throwing the first punch) by buying a round of drinks for everyone, which is quite a gesture considering how broke he apparently is. While Jack was making amends, Margo was rather harshly (even if it's true) blaming Carly for causing all the trouble in the first place. Later, Jack asked Carly to promise him to forget about Nick from now on. She spent the rest of the evening stewing over Nick and reigning praise on her G-Man, as Nick couldn't take his eyes off of her. Mike urged his cousin to be cool, then asked him to be his Best Man. Later, the happy soon-to-be-weds went up to Oakdale's favorite unidentified rooftop to finish their romantic evening, in which they discussed how Nick really baited Jack and how they want to have babies soon. Back at Yo's, Nick suggestively apologized to Carly, who had her eye on him as she left with her husband.

Casey was protesting a bit too much about how he doesn't care if Maddie goes out with Nate, who he oddly called "perfect." She just wanted to know where she stands with him (read: "like a sister" or "romantic prospect"), but he jealously dodged the question. Since neither would admit that they're into each other, they finally just agreed that they're friends. That's when Nate showed up and she moved to his table, while Casey continued to mope nearby (after greeting him as "Nathan"). Nate, meanwhile, showered Maddie with compliments, which she fantasized were coming from Casey, who was himself daydreaming about completing the simple task of asking Maddie out on a date.

2005 recaps