Friday, March 31, 2006
WOAK set the stage for a very special anniversary episode of ATWT. While doing some research for a school project on Oakdale families, Maddie came across some old tapes of classic sitcoms. Will, Gwen, and Casey suggested she apply the history of Oakdale's families to the situation comedies. First up was the Snyder Hillbillies. The Snyder farm was transformed into a black and white version of the original with Holden and Lily up in arms about Meg's new boyfriend, a hippie named Poncho. The spaced out slacker turned out to be a prison escapee named Paul Steinbeck who was only out for Meg's money. She wasn't heartbroken for too long: The scene ended with Meg dragging her tree-hugging boyfriend outside to be hog-tied with some help from her nephew Luke.

I Dream of Carly found our favorite trickster doing what she does best in the name of love. Astronaut Jack is worried that he may lose his place on the next trip to the moon to the new guy, Nick Kasnoff. Just as Carly is reassuring her "master" that he will always be No. 1, Nick showed up and announced that he would be replacing Jack on the mission. Turns out all the strange happenings that surround his family had been worrying their boss (and nosy neighbor Lisa). Down but not out, Genie Carly decided to turn Nick into the rat she knew he was. With Jack preoccupied she did just that with a twinkle of her nose. Realizing a talking rat might raise eyebrows, she revised her plan and returned Nick to human form. But not before making sure he had no memory of her magic hijinks and ensuring that Jack's position would be secure.

"If my family were a sitcom they would have jumped the shark years ago." Will quipped as we got a peek at the Munsons as the Munsonsters. Fairwinds was the setting for a fitting tribute to one of Oakdale's strangest clans. Franken-Hal arrived home from work and was greeted by his ex-wife Elvira Barbara. Jen brought her new boyfriend Dusty home but both were painfully out of place with her "eccentric" family, which included her overprotective werewolf brother Paul. The arrival of Aunt Kim and Uncle Bob (fangs and all) proved too much for straight arrow Dusty, who made a hasty exit just as Paul's new fiancée Emily arrived, a spitting image of his mom.

Katie and Mike's cottage was a throwback to 1950's suburbia with Mike refusing to let Katie take driving lessons in his new car. The defiant housewife recruited her friend and neighbor Henrietta to take out the new ride for a spin. Inevitably the ladies crashed the car in to what they believed to be a traffic post but in actuality it was Mike and Henrietta's husband Henry. Despite their best efforts to cover up the damage (including placing the blame at the feet of nice old Mrs. Hughes), it didn't take too long for the guys to figure out just what the duo was up to. Mike and Henry decided the best medicine for their ladies would be a night in prison stripes.

Last but not least, Happy Oakdale Days. Though he's the captain of the baseball team, Casey can't seem to get anywhere with the girls. With the help of his best friend Will "Munsey" Munson he was set up on a blind date. Gwen and Maddie agreed to double date with the two but it turned out that Gwen and Casey just didn't hit it off. Not to worry: After a quick partner swap, everyone was with the right date and danced the night away to the classic Sam Cook tune "You Send Me."

Thursday, March 30, 2006
At the hospital, Lily and Holden were wondering what Luke wanted to tell them when his monitors suddenly went off. The doctor warned that the patient couldn't be under stress, so Lily and Holden backed off — they'd talk to him about it later. Luke told his parents that he needed Jade to stay at the house or he wouldn't come home when he got out of the hospital. Lily relented, then she and Holden left their son's room. Luke told Jade that he couldn't tell his parents that he's gay. Jade said she would continue to cover for him until he's ready to reveal the truth. Luke and Jade saw Lily looking through the window, so they kissed. Holden reassured Lily and said they had to keep Luke calm. Jade walked out of Luke's room and announced she was going home to get some of his things. Luke asked Lily and Holden not to be mad at Jade. Back home, Jade got comfortable. When Lucinda showed up, Jade turned on the waterworks. La Walsh sniffed that she didn’t buy the sob story and warned her not to hurt Lily. Jade said that Luke has a kidney infection brought on by stress. Lily arrived home and announced that for Luke's sake, Jade could stay, but in the guesthouse, not the main house. At first, Jade questioned the choice, then took off for the hospital. Meanwhile, Holden told Luke that he understood how it felt to fall in love for the first time, and discussed him and Lily vs. Lucinda. Holden said that he and Lily just want Luke to be happy.

Maddie showed up at WOAK to do research for a sociology project and heard a noise. She ended up knocking Casey on the head when he walked into the room. Casey accused her of still being mad at him for talking to Gwen about the night that Gwen got pregnant. Maddie questioned if they were boyfriend/girlfriend, and they kissed and made up. Gwen and Will showed up at another part of WOAK and discussed going back to school and living with Hal. Gwen told Will about her run-in with Barbara; she feared Babs might not sign over the trust fund because of it. Will said that Hal would take care of Barbara because he was trying to make things up to Will. The subject turned to Casey and his complete 180. Will told Gwen that he was glad they were friends again. Will and Gwen walked in on Casey and Maddie kissing. Maddie said she needed to get started on her project, and suggested that Casey go with them to get coffee.

Jennifer rejoiced when she received a photo of Dusty holding today's paper, with a note that said, "Jenny, my love, don't give up hope, I'm still alive." Jen called Hal at the station to share the news, and he took off. Hal met her in the Lakeview lobby and cautioned that it could be a hoax by either Paul or Meg. Jen refused to believe that the letter wasn't real, so Hal said he would have the lab analyze both items. When Meg came out of the elevator, Jen asked if she sent the note from Dusty. Meg was stunned to hear that there was proof about Dusty being alive. Jen accused her or Paul of sending the photo and note. Meg said that she and Paul had nothing to do with it. Jen pressed Meg to reveal who she thought was holding Dusty just as Emily arrived. Meg said that she didn’t have any theories. Jen vowed to find out who was behind it.

Emily showed up at the station and overheard Paul on the phone leaving a message for Meg about being "on the same page." Em demanded to know who he was talking to, so Paul fibbed that he was leaving a message for Jessica, his lawyer. Paul was ushered back to his cell. Emily dropped a hint that he might not need Jess after all. Em said that she had a very positive feeling and pressed him to celebrate their wedding, but Paul said he couldn't do it, claiming this was not what she deserved. Emily declared that she was the happiest woman on Earth. He pressed her to reveal why she felt things were going to work out. Em wouldn't budge, told Paul to trust fate, kissed him and took off. Hal caught her and said visiting hours were over. She insisted that marrying Paul was not a mistake and stalked out. Hal got the test results and confronted Paul about the photo. Paul realized that Dusty is most certainly alive and wanted to recant his confession.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Does anyone fight better than Carly and Jack? It was on today, as the Snyders' union crumbled in a tour-de-force of marital strife rooted in their history. We began with Carly's attempts to get back to life as normal, and Jack's announcement that it's over between them. That's pretty much how it went down: with her saying love is enough, and him insisting that honesty's important too. She accused him of going off to look for a "better" woman, although maybe he already found her. "I've never cheated on you," he insisted. "Her name was Julia, remember? We adopted her little boy because we have such a happy, stable home," she spat back. Finally! "Maybe you were just practicing, trying it on for size, seeing how it would feel to live your life without me in it," she added, before noting that she'll always be the bad girl and he's the straight-arrow cop. It's a double standard that means when he breaks the law to save her, he's a hero; when she breaks the law to save him, he leaves her. He argued that what she did was different, because she lied to him. Their argument then turned to the fact that she tried to use sex to bring Nick down. "Maybe the truth is that our marriage just isn't exciting enough for you.... Maybe I'm not dangerous enough or arrogant enough or slimy enough for you," he said, to which she angrily countered with the "truth": a searing kiss. But he pointed out that sex doesn't solve anything, and despite her hysterical pleas, he packed his things. As he prepared to leave, she gave him a picture that Sage had drawn and tried to get him to take the compass, reducing them both to tears. "I wanted to be your true North," he choked out. "Somehow, we both got lost." And then he walked out. After calling after him, she collapsed in tears.

Outside of his house, Luke was still playing along with Jade's plan to make it look like they're in love, but he was starting to get really tired of his partner in deception. Inside, Holden fretted to Lily that Luke might leave if they kick Jade out. But she won that argument, and when the kids came back in, Holden told Jade to pack up her stuff. "I think there's something that you should know," announced Jade — and Luke promptly passed out. It turned out he's got an infection in his stolen kidney, and Susan's main treatment plan was to "keep him stress free." Jade brought Luke's worried parents some tea before visiting the patient. "You did it — I'm still here," she grinned. He wanted to know if she told his parents. "What did you think I was gonna do? Out you while you were unconscious?" she asked, but suggested that keeping his secret isn't worth risking his health. She might also consider that blackmailing him hasn't helped either.

Jennifer had a daydream about love-of-her-life-at-the-moment Dusty, which only made her more convinced that he's alive, so she ran to reiterate her hunch to a sympathetic but skeptical Hal. Meanwhile, Dusty was rejecting Emily's grooming efforts and declaring that he's fed up with being held prisoner. He wants to go home to Jen and "my boy" Johnny, but refused to write a suicide note, or anything that gets Emily or Paul off the hook. No problem — Em wanted him to write a few words for his loved ones to remember him by. If he didn't, she'd have no reason to keep him alive. He also had to pose for a photo with a current newspaper. By the time Jennifer returned to the Lakeview, a package had been delivered for her. Inside was the proof that Dusty's alive.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Will and Gwen were trying to cram at the brand-new library set, where Maddie and Casey showed up, since they're apparently finally ready to accept that they're the only four teens around town and they might as well hang out. As it turns out, Will's struggling with calculus (at which Maddie excels) and Casey aced American Lit, so he's gonna help Gwen. The newly formed alterna-couples did some separate bonding — especially Casey and Gwen, who have a passion for music in common (along with that dead baby). Everything looked perfect, but Maddie did seem slightly dismayed to overhear Casey praising Gwen by saying she's "got it all." Maddie later quizzed Casey about his one-night-stand with Gwen.

Kim and Barbara had a chat about Will's plan to return to school and how he was at the library as they were speaking, checking out books with Gwen. "Books? Like How To Go Through My Husband's Trust Fund 12 Different Ways?" snarked Babs, who did concede that at least Will is happy. Kim wondered whether Barbara would support it. "Yes, he's my son," she said. "Lord help him," responded Aunt Kim, who showed sarcastic surprise that Barbara hadn't planned any elaborate break-up schemes. Barbara just plastered on a big smile and claimed that she's ready to play nice, until Kim guessed her plan: "After Will and Gwen find out they don't have a common enemy to unite them, they'll just fall apart." Babs then headed to the library to invite her new daughter-in-law to a "welcome to the family" dinner. Could anyone blame Gwen for being skeptical? Well, aside from Barbara, that is. Still, she tamped down her irritation and tried to remain civil when she got a polite but chilly "no thanks."

At the police station, Carly reluctantly confessed — to Nick's face — that she lured him to the Lakeview. Jack got his first look at her note, which was pretty much an invitation for sex — thus reflecting poorly on both Carly (for writing it) and Nick (for planning to follow up on it). Carly sincerely apologized; a livid Nick could have sent her to prison for a good long time, but (contrary to a vindictive Katie's advice) changed his mind. After exchanging apologies with Jack, Nick decided to drop the charges for the sake of her kids. So Carly dodged another bullet, but even though Jack went home with her, he could barely look at his wife by the end of the day. Eventually, he came out with it: "Good-bye." (Also, Nick got his badge and gun back from Hal.)

Meg's late arrival upped the ante at Paul and Emily's wacky wedding. To cover the fact that he went all slack-jawed at the sight of his nurse, Paul loudly asked that Meg be kicked out of his nups, accusing her of ruining his life. Hal glibly noted that Meg has visited every day, which made Em take pause. But in his Paul-Svengali way, the groom managed to convince her that he hates Meg and he wants to marry her. That sped things up: soon Henry rooted around in his pocket for the rings ("Oh, Emily — how many signs do you need?" sighed Susan) and Emily was kissing Paul before the frazzled minister even got done pronouncing them man and wife — as Meg dashed out the door. Paul wasted no time fishing for intel from his wife by lamenting that he'll be in prison till death do they part (again). After urging him not to worry, she skipped out happily, tossing her bouquet to Paul's guard/secretary on her way. Meg was hanging around upstairs, where Hal called her on being "up to something" with Paul, then warned her to be careful. Instead, she went back to see Paul, who was still wiping off his wife's kiss when he assured a trying-really-hard-not-to-act-jealous Meg that his marriage is all a ruse to find out what happened to Dusty. "I did this for us," he insisted. She just wanted him to be watch his back. After some more gushing, hand-holding and hand-kissing, Meg took her leave, saying that she'd stay clear of him for awhile.

Emily, meanwhile, stopped by her Dusty dungeon to giddily feed her prisoner. "I've decided you're of much more use to me alive," she chirped, then asked him for a favor (!).

Monday, March 27, 2006
"Marry me right now, or we walk away from each other for good," suggested Emily, basically calling Paul's bluff. "I'd be an idiot to try and fool you again, wouldn't I?" he noted, rather ironically, before continuing his romantic deception in a way that is so believable that we had to wonder for a second if he actually did mean it. After he made it official with a proposal, she sprung instantly into action, summoning Henry, who had just had a run-in with Meg, to take care of the last-minute details. When he ran off, Meg called Paul's secretary — er, the guard who answers the phone outside the holding cell — and learned that the prisoner was currently unavailable, because he was "about to make the biggest mistake of his life." Indeed, Em was determined to get the wedding show on the road, roping Henry and the guard into being witnesses and rejecting Susan's pleas for sanity. Finally, Hal came down to put a stop to the madness, but was quickly convinced that Emily deserves what she gets and allowed the between-the-bars nups to proceed. Em started first, rambling on about how people are good and bad, but you have to love the sum of the parts. "Even though you confuse me sometimes, you know? Sometimes I think you're a little disturbed, but I love you," she finished, hilariously. "That's kind of a tough speech to follow," Paul said before promising to try not to "screw up this time." It was time for him to say "I do" when Meg arrived and locked eyes with the groom.

Katie and Nick were trying to convince Hal to put out an APB on Sylvia Turnblatt, a.k.a. Chardonnay the Stripper, who can clear Nick's name. Hal agreed to run it by Jack, who's in charge of the investigation. "There goes the ballgame," shrugged a bummed Nick. Not quite — Jack was at home trying to get the truth out of Chardonnay and a panicked Carly, who was in biiiiiig trouble with her husband — Jack treated her like she was about to get grounded, or at least spend some time in the corner thinking about what she's done. Char confessed that Carly sent the note to Nick, hoping to get scandalous photos of the cop in bed with Char — and Anatoly shook up the planned set-up by adding a dash of smack. Carly tried to explain, but Jack is so over any more of her justifications. He'd had enough, and dragged them both down to the station to "tell [Nick] the whole sick story."

Gwen was going along with Will's plan to leave Hal's house, but admitted that she wants to graduate high school, because "then we can do anything, we can be anything." (Even she instantly realized how cheesy that sounded.) Somewhere between refilling the birdfeeder and Gwen declaring her trust in him, Will realized how happy his wife is in the Munson home and eventually changed his mind, agreeing to take his dad's offer so they can study hard and graduate in June. She headed to the brand-new library set to pick up some textbooks and commence cramming with Maddie, who noted that Will's doing a lot to keep Gwen happy. They chatted about Maddie and Casey's relationship and also took a moment to become BFF. Meanwhile, Will was finishing up a meeting with Bob, who advised that if he can't come to terms with his living arrangements, it'll never work — he might as well just head to a cheap motel now. Will's gonna give it a shot for Gwen's sake, but he's also taking the janitorial job at the hospital.

2005 recaps