Friday, December 8, 2006
Barbara summoned Emma to her suite and actually apologized for her behavior at the wedding, but that quickly devolved into an argument between the overprotective moms. Bottom line? Emma wanted Babs to keep Paul away from her daughter.

Lucy vehemently protested Craig's plan to have her bring Johnny to the hospital so they could all go home together. She finally stopped blustering for a minute to realize that her father was testing her. He confirmed that he was, but she still tried to convince him that it was a bad idea. That's when his lawyer showed up with a court order for temporary custody overnight. Lucy's next tactic was to suggest that Barbara won't just hand the kid over, so she offered to go alone. Craig wanted to send his lawyer and, if necessary, the cops. As she left, Craig creepily thanked his "Lullaby" for taking his side. The test isn't over, clearly. Lucy went over to Barbara's suite to collect Johnny and, as expected, met plenty of opposition. "I will go to my grave before I let you lay a hand on that baby," she announced.

Paul confronted Emily at the hospital about her demolition of his wedding. "I don't want you," Em said. "That's too bad, Emily, because now you've got me ... as an enemy." Meg found them arguing, but mostly didn't care because she wasn't interested in seeing either one of them. Nevertheless, Paul begged for a moment alone with his non-bride. She reluctantly gave him one, which he used to murmur about how he wants her to remember that she loves him and to again argue that Craig deserves to die when his sister is dead. "Craig is gonna take Johnny and erase Jennifer," he said. "I am not going to let that happen." She understood, but argued that they can't have a future because he won't change. In spite of his promise not to try to murder anybody if she'd come back to him, she said tearfully said that she couldn't be a good person with him. He warned her to stay away from Craig, who is "a whole lot more dangerous than I am." Craig (who had eavesdropped on the whole conversation) approached Paul to gloat as soon as Meg walked away. "So you think I'm dangerous, huh? Oh, how right you are," Craig told him.

Katie cajoled Henry into donning yet another disguise — this time looking like a 19th century Euro-trash magician — to con a ferociously flirtatious Vienna into talking about the diamond theft. She was just getting to the good stuff when she spotted (and ran into the arms of) Mike, who promptly blew Henry's cover. "Why are you wearing that stupid beard?" he asked, spoiling all the fun. Mike quickly deduced that Katie was behind all the hijinks, and Vienna noted that if they had only asked her, she would have happily reported that she lied when she originally said the jewels weren't stolen. She hopefully asked if Mike and "his wife" were trying to put Simon in jail, and was then delighted to learn that Mike is now a single man. But Mike, wanting nothing to do with any of this, took off, so Vienna turned to Henry for sloppy seconds. Katie, having struck out again with Mike, interrupted them to enlist Henry in helping find out why Simon hasn't been arrested yet.

Jack stopped Sage from revealing the homeless lady's present (the diamond necklace) to interrogate Simon and Carly about ... her diamond necklace, which she was happily willing to turn over for testing. Simon put on a good show about rejecting that idea, noting that it was a gift after all, and Jack should trust his ex-wife. Jack offered to get a search warrant, even though a sympathetic Carly was willing to give him the necklace. Once he left, Carly scolded Simon for making fun of her ex. Simon jealously pouted that it upsets him to hear Jack call Carly a liar; she pointed out that that's exactly what she is, and Jack was going for the search warrant to give them a chance to get rid of the evidence. Simon then told her that if being with him makes her feel bad about herself, they can just break up. Clearly annoyed about her obsession with Jack, he also reminded her that they can't undo what they've done. After fondly calling him "incorrigible," she and Sage went home alone.

Meanwhile, Mike, Katie and Henry showed up at the police station to browbeat Jack about the jewel theft case. "Go home. The wheels of justice will still be turning without you gathered around my desk," he told them. Mike (who was really there to make sure that Vienna came to Jack instead of scheming with Katie and Henry) rejected his wife again, but did ask Henry to make sure she's okay. It's really a good thing Henry's not holding a grudge against those two. Mike stuck around to chat with Jack, who was pretending to file things to stay away from Katie. Mike apologized for his ex: "I'm sorry she got so..." "Insulting? Obnoxious? Rude?" responded Jack awesomely. Jack knows Katie, so he was well aware that her behavior is about getting Mike back. Mike wondered if Carly was involved — and if Jack even wants to know what happened the night of the ball. At the same time, Katie barreled forward with her plan to destroy Simon, thus somehow proving her love for Mike: she told Henry that they have to steal Carly's necklace.

Thursday, December 7, 2006
Dusty, who has managed to retain his tailored-suit-with-no-tie look even though he's in jail, summoned Lucy for a visit. He told her that he had to cut her loose because she's a good person and he doesn't deserve her. She broke the news that Craig wanted Dusty to shoot him: "He set you up, and you fell for it." That is so the last thing you should tell Dusty! Lucy thinks that this information will help get Dusty exonerated, but she seems to have forgotten that Dusty still picked up a gun and shot a man. "None of what you said changes what I did," he noted, quite rightly. She wanted to ignore that and help anyway, but added: "You ever try to shoot my father again, I wash my hands of you." She then made him promise that no matter what he hears or sees her do, she's on his side, not her father's. Jessica walked in on them and forbade Lucy from visiting Dusty again. Lucy put on a good act about hating him, then left Jess to scold Dusty, who tried to play dumb about agreeing to talk to his victim's daughter, but it didn't really work: Jessica was just confused by his seemingly self-destructive behavior. He was only interested in the date of Johnny's custody hearing.

A suspicious Margo visited Craig and coldly noted that "this whole shooting thing could work out well" for him. A snarky Craig didn't want her to stick around if she wasn't going to sympathize with his situation, and seemed genuinely hurt not to have his sister's support. Margo didn't really care, and apparently, the staff at Memorial also aren't Craig fans, because they were looking to unload him on anyone who was willing. Margo definitely wasn't, but luckily, Lucy's on a new mission, so she offered to take care of her stunned dad — and was promised a case of champagne from the nurses.

Simon met Carly and new older Sage (who he declared to be his "two favorite girls in the whole world") at Java. Carly was still in full-on panic mode about Vienna's intentions, but Simon wasn't concerned. "She's all talk and no action," he insisted, amused by Carly's nervousness. Cut to Vienna, who waited with her feet up at Jack's desk. After her usual flirtations, she reported the robbery. Jack wondered if she was just after revenge, but she pointed out that if it's true, it shouldn't matter. "Putting Simon away — that would make my week. Actually, my year," he said, before she asked him not to protect his wife. "I don't have a wife," was his quick response, but judging by the way he reacted after she left, he's clearly going to protect Carly anyway.

At Java, Sage brought Simon a cinnamon roll before he left. "He's fun," she noted awkwardly. "Yeah, we have to watch out for that," responded her mother wryly. Sage then asked to give her other cinnamon roll to the out-of-place homeless lady on the bench outside. Jack arrived to report the news of Vienna's statement to Carly, and saw through her defensive protests before asking after the whereabouts of the necklace Simon gave her. She stuttered a bit, trying to think of a response. Meanwhile, the grateful homeless lady thanked Sage for her kindness — by giving her the diamond necklace, which she found on the riverbank.

Back at Simon's suite, the jeweler had just dropped off the new necklace replica when Vienna showed up to tell him about her confession. He then returned to Java in time to hand it to Carly — who had taken quite a long pause to answer Jack's question. Sage then joined the adults and reached into her pocket to show them her new bauble.

Maddie walked in on Casey, who was pathetically celebrating an online poker win in his bed in the dark. He lied that looking at his grades is made him happy and that he'd stayed up all night studying. Later, Casey took Maddie out and gave her an engraved bracelet. She insisted that it was too expensive, but he claimed that he could afford it because he's been working with Adam, who showed up in time to be thanked by Maddie, who went home to do her homework. That left Adam to wonder why Casey was buying expensive gifts when he had to borrow money to get out of debt yesterday. Adam had just deduced that Casey was gambling again when Margo interrupted.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Simon and Carly were making out on their way into his hotel room, where a naked, annoyed Vienna waited for him. "I should have known better. Once a liar. Always a liar," she pouted. "I thought you loved that about me," quipped Simon, who then pretended to dump Carly (who got into the act by feigning devastation) to appease Vienna. Carly's fake waterworks gave Simon an excuse to delay Vienna for a little longer as he went back to the room to casually order champagne, while Carly commenced panicking again; he tried soothing her with lots of kisses. Vienna showed up again, found him with his shirt open, and more hijinks ensued as Carly went for an Oscar by tearfully threatening to kill herself and declaring her love. Simon finally dropped the act and confessed to Vienna that he wants Carly (who stood by nervously, no doubt wondering which prison she'll be sent to) as he dared Vienna to tell the prince about his stolen necklace, adding that not only does she have proof that they took it, but he might even implicate her in the theft. "Don't get too comfy, blondie. This isn't over," Vienna declared, before storming out. Simon spent the rest of the show reassuring Carly that no one has any proof that they did anything wrong, while a little hand in a fingerless glove plucked the necklace from the branch by the river.

Adam gave Casey a lecture about online gambling and a check, but made him promise to quit. Gwen arrived to coldly listen to Adam's apology while pretending to sift through her mail. She still doesn't like Jade, but he pointed out that if her career takes off, she'll have to deal with a lot of people she doesn't like, and they agreed to work together again. Meanwhile, Casey took about five minutes before pondering using Adam's check to start gambling again.

Meg, angrier than in the tag yesterday, bypassed a questioning Emma and stomped down the aisle to a flabbergasted Paul. "Tell me why I feel like my life just ended," she choked out before taking him off to talk privately about his devious plan to marry her before Emily exposed him for the attempted murderer that he is. Downstairs, a shaky camera followed Emily, who spied through the window as everyone speculated on why the wedding got interrupted. Will spotted her and went outside to see his old stepmother. She ran off before he got there, but he reported her presence to Barbara later.

Paul couldn't Svengali his way out of this particular wedding-related disaster and despite his stalling, he was eventually forced to confess the truth in a stream of excuses based on all the horrible things Craig has done. Paul argued that Craig has to be stopped; Meg couldn't see his point, though she still loves him. That's why it's so hard for her to deal with the fact that he tried to kill someone. So yeah, the wedding's off. The bride ran out of the house in tears.

Lucy checked on Craig, who made a point of sincerely thanking her for saving him — and then arguing he'd never deliberately tried to take someone's life, like big bad Dusty did. (Actually Craig did shoot a thug he hired to kidnap Lucy, in cold blood, and was basically responsible for the death of her stepfather Alan. Not that she'll ever find out about any of that). Craig then matter-of-factly noted that custody of Johnny is as good as his now, before inviting her to move back in with him. Lucy left as Em visited to report her success in breaking up the wedding.

Tuesday, December 5, 2006
Adam confessed to an annoyed Casey that he hooked up with Jade. After whining a bit about how Adam's indiscretion ("Way to be a pro," he taunted), Casey used the upper hand to hit up his brother for money, shadily hedging about why he needed it; Adam agreed, as long as Casey talks Gwen into going forward with the demo. He was about to leave when a collegiate loan shark showed up to demand that Casey pay his debt. Casey sent the guy away and lied that he owed him $10, but Adam didn't buy it and checked out his laptop, causing Casey to totally freak out.

Blushing bride Meg was receiving last minute well wishes from Emma, Lily (Matron of Honor) and Barbara (noticeably saddened by the mother-daughter moments) while Paul tried to ensure that the ceremony would happen by dispensing some last minute charm/manipulation/kindness to an ever-so-slightly unhinged Emily. "One of the reasons I love Meg is that she makes me want to be a better man," he argued honestly. "I love the man you are," was Em's somewhat pathetic response. But he made it clear that they have no future together. She feigned understanding, but then snuck upstairs to deliver a very special wedding gift to Meg: the truth about Paul's attempted murder of Craig, mixed in with a little crazy Emily-style reminiscing about her own wedding at around this time last year. Speaking of, the groom waited obliviously in the living room, perhaps content in the knowledge that the odds of another bride either shooting him or collapsing at the altar during a December wedding are pretty low.

While waiting for the ceremony to begin, Faith (who was being weird about this whole marriage institution all day) creepily observed Paul's anxiousness and obsessed about divorce as Luke tried to reassure her. Other guests included a new, older Natalie (flower girl), Luke, Gwen, Will (Best Man) and Jade (hilariously demoted to coat check girl by Babs), all buzzing about why the wedding date was moved up. "In my family, you learn not to ask," quipped Will, before hearing from Jade that Gwen caught her with Adam and then quit working on her demo. Luke lured Jade away before she could gloat any more, while Will wondered why Gwen didn't tell him. Incidentally, Jack was sadly a no-show because he's working, which seems to be happening a lot lately.

As the music played, Paul continued to wait and wait and everyone started exchanging "uh-oh" looks while Emily peered in the window. Meg finally walked down the aisle, her expression unreadable. Paul had more of a "gulp!" look on his face.

Monday, December 4, 2006
Knowing that he can't count on an unpredictable Emily to be fooled into keeping his secret (that he tried to smother Craig) for long, desperate Paul used his Svengali charm to convince Meg that they should get married that very evening. (Because holiday weddings have always been such a good luck charm for him.)

At home, Lily caught Holden rescheduling a meeting with Tea on the phone, and quizzed him on all of his recent secretive behavior. Faith trotted in and picked up on their tension, but they turned the attention to her new horse before Emma stopped by to report, with many sighs, that the wedding for tomorrow seems to have been cancelled. Before everyone could panic or celebrate, Paul and Meg arrived to announce that it they moved up the ceremony to this evening. Lily, Faith, Emma and Meg then went off to talk dresses and makeup and whether nice girls like Meg should marry troubled guys like Paul, who cruelly dumped Rose at the altar just before she dropped dead. Holden took the time alone with his brother-in-law-to-be to give him a stern warning about what would happen if Paul hurt his sister. (It's simple: Holden will kill him.) At the same time, Craig got the wedding announcement from his gossipy new nurse and it didn't take much psychological manipulation for him to dispatch a livid Emily to put a stop to the nups. Paul ran into her outside of Lily and Holden's house.

At Java, Jessica gave Carly the details about her probation, then suspiciously assured her that she's her friend as well as her lawyer, so if Carly's got something to get off her chest, she should feel free to do so. Carly declined, then ran into Jack, who noted that she shouldn't be worried about her probation if she's staying out of trouble. Jack wasn't just there to chat flirtatiously, though: He fished a bit about the diamond necklace before reporting that Vienna confirmed the returned gems were authentic. Carly couldn't hide her surprise. Jack couldn't help but notice, though he did take her at her word, and even said that he's noticed some positive change in her. "Do I get your vote for 'Most Improved'?" she purred. She does, but he also warned her to watch out for Katie.

Simon was still arguing with Katie when Vienna walked up; he whisked his richer ex away before Katie could properly grill her. In his room, Vienna sprawled herself across Simon's bed and boredly mentioned that (like everyone in the entire world, apparently), she has read the updated Oakdale Confidential. It didn't take her long to confirm that he did steal the jewels (despite his denials), but she let it be known (with much ear-nibbling and tie-pulling) that if Simon just took her back, she'd keep mum. He tried sweet-talking his way out of the dilemma, but Vienna simply dialed the prince's number. Realizing he had no other choice, Simon snatched the phone out of her hand and took her in his arms. He finally agreed to leave town with Vienna after ending things with Carly, who caught them kissing.

Meanwhile, Henry breathlessly arrived at Java, where Katie had summoned him for her emergency. "Guess who's in town?" she asked. "Cher, on her final, final, final good-bye tour, please?" he quipped, before she filled him in on Simon's squirrelly response to Vienna's presence, which seems to indicate that the fictional jewel theft in her book isn't so fictional after all. "Or you're so wrecked by the loss of Mike, you want Simon to suffer for it," he pointed out. Yeah, that too, she agreed. Henry, who is admirably putting his own past with Katie aside, reminded her that her marriage didn't end because Simon is a jewel thief, but because she slept with him. She continued to delusionally insist that all she cares about is getting Mike back.

2005 recaps