Friday, January 5, 2007
On their secure cell phones, Simon and Carly again declared their love, before he basically insisted that she deserves a better life than being on the run with him, so she should just let him go. Alone. You'd think he'd have that speech down by now, but Carly, like Katie before her, wasn't willing to accept that so easily. (This is why he's always having to fake his death!) So she grabbed a stack of cash (!) and her passport out of the convenient Snyder lockbox and went to the Lakeview, where she met with Lisa about a possible interior design job. First, though, she excused herself to go to the ladies' room.

After being guilted by Katie for helping Simon, Henry snuck the Aussie out of the Lakeview in a giant laundry basket. Katie tattled to Jack that Simon was probably in Henry's room; he got a search warrant, but by the time they got inside, both men were gone. Katie was feeling a bit regretful and tried to ask Jack to go easy on Henry, even while he throws the book at her other ex-husband. She feigned ignorance when Jack needed help trying to listen to messages on the cell phone — the password turned out to be Bubbles — but he figured it out on his own and heard a message from Carly. Katie ran off to warn Henry. Meanwhile, Carly showed up in his darkened room calling for Henry — only to be caught by Jack, who found the passport and cash in her purse and could barely contain his heartbreak. "What happens now?" she asked. "The last thing I ever wanted. Carly Snyder, you're under arrest..." he responded, reading her full Miranda rights.

Will caught Adam and Gwen listening to a track on the same earphones together — a close moment for Adam — and asked to speak to his brother about the bills from L.A. An annoyed Adam used his slick L.A.-producer speak to explain away some of the exorbitant expenses that Will quite reasonably questioned. Will stayed calm, noting that he doesn't want to "nickel and dime" them but that he hadn't anticipated such frivolous expenditures like fancy lunches for the support staff, who were already being paid for their services. ("That's L.A." was Adam's standard retort). He also noted that his trust fund doesn't really provide endless bushels of cash; there's a yearly limit that they've nearly exceeded. Adam slick producer-ed that Will just doesn't get that records cost money, but more to the point, he thinks Will just wants it to be over with so that he and Gwen will stop spending time together. Gwen heard this and demanded to know what Adam's problem is. She defended her husband, who suggested that they just finish their session while he goes to study/cool off. Alone, Adam blamed Will's "screwed-up mother" for Will's selfishness and then invented some history about how their relationship was when they were growing up together. (Though the idea of, say, Margo having inadvertently given Adam such a negative impression of her longtime adversary Babs is awesome. Of course, that's our revisionist history.) Gwen continued to defend Will. The young Munsons met up later and confirmed that things are okay between them, but Will secretly looked a little conflicted.

Susan was trying to talk to Paul about his weird behavior, when Meg arrived and his eyes filled with stars. Susan allowed them a moment alone, during which Paul gushed about how Meg is his reason for living. Paul warned her that Craig is still dangerous and begged her to give him a second chance. She was clearly still quite torn about her feelings for him, but tried to leave. When he touched her he got kind of an x-ray shock, followed by a vision of a pool of liquid set on fire. This naturally knocked him sort of catatonic. Outside his room, Susan asked Bob if someone coming out of a brain injury could have extra-sensory awareness. "Is this a joke?" he asked, awesomely, but Susan argued that Paul really does seem to be developing some psychic ability. Bob's attempts at logic and to laugh it off didn't really work, and he just kind of walked away. Meanwhile, Paul told a worried Meg about his new powers. When Meg confided this latest bit of nuttiness to Susan, the doc excitedly confirmed that this isn't the first time it happened. Meg didn't want to get involved, but Susan was practically ready to call John Edward. When she got paged and left, Paul had the vision again, this time with Meg floating in the liquid. "Poison" he uttered, as Meg got a cup of coffee at Java (and we got lots of ominous close-ups of it).

Thursday, January 4, 2007
Henry — hilarious in all of his scenes today — told Katie that he was working as a chauffeur (so he still has a job!). Unfortunately, he also turned down a martini, so Katie suspected that something was up and started following him. Henry went upstairs, where he used the password "Free Bird" to enter so that he and Simon could do a bit of verbal jousting over favors owed and the fact that Henry is the only one Simon can trust. Henry finally agreed to call Carly to give her Simon's message. Using a coded conversation about Mimi The Broken Vase, he arranged a meeting at Java. After promising Parker that she would always be there for him, Carly sent him off to hockey practice and went to meet Henry. She managed to fool the police guard that Parker had awesomely spotted earlier, but Katie was totally onto them as they had another spy-style chat about the "store" where she had to pick up "the vase," which has "sentimental value." Once Carly was gone, Katie demanded to know what Henry had said to her. Carly went home, where Simon called her (on the untraceable cell phones that Henry had provided) and declared his love (!), which she reciprocated (!). It was all tender and angsty and romantic, if that's what you're into.

Lily was trying to get Faith to go have an "excellent adventure" together in the city when Tea stopped by to see photos of Holden and Lily's big dance. When Lily cringed at herself in the photos, Tea noted dance classes are a great way to get in shape. Lily wasn't interested, but Faith jumped at the chance to take classes. After she happily skipped off with Tea, Lily lamented to Jade that she just wanted to spend some time with Faith, and Faith would rather be with someone else. Over lunch later, Lily confided to Jade that she wished she could lose the last 15 pounds, and that while Faith had inherited Holden's stubbornness, she'd gotten Lily's body. Jade responded by giving her some diet pills.

The DA was willing to accept Craig's "confession" and dropped the charges against Dusty. Jessica advised her client to accept this stroke of fortune and "let it go." He decided not to, vowing to Craig that he would find Lucy and Johnny and then disappear. Dusty took a nice moment to thank Emily and even brushed off all of those mistakes she's made in the past (including, presumably, that time she chained him to a wall for two weeks). She said that if there was anything else he needs, he just has to ask. Dusty protectively warned her to be careful of Craig. He was planning to head to Montega to find out what Sierra knows about Lucy.

Meg followed Craig to the Lakeview to demand answers about his ulterior motives. "I did it for you," he said seductively, but she wasn't about to thank him. He wants her to let him prove that he can be a better man.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Tom arrested Craig for the ridiculous (as Margo rightfully pointed out) charge of getting himself shot. Craig accused Emily and Meg of setting him up. They brought him down to the station, where Dusty played along with the plan by "confessing" to Jessica that he was just trying to scare Craig by threatening him with a gun loaded with blanks. It's funny that Paul — who actually did reload the gun — is not involved in any of this. Craig tried blaming Paul, but no one really listened, because Em was willing to testify that Dusty never intended to kill Craig. A still skeptical Margo warned her that if she's lying, Em won't just have to worry about her legal trouble, she'll have to worry about Craig's revenge. Meg was about to leave when she went to gloat to Craig about how she wanted him to get a taste of his own medicine. He turned the tables by noting that she could have monkeyed with his car or any number of other things to distract him; instead, she chose a sexy dress and a kiss. She brought up his bad fathering skills (and the somewhat rewritten history in which it's his fault, not Jennifer's, that Bryant is dead) and pointed out that Johnny is better off without him. "Man, she's gorgeous when she's angry," was his response to himself after she stormed out. As Dusty, Jess, Emily, Meg, Tom (who looked like he was in a little physical discomfort and popped a pill) and Margo all speculated about what happens next, Craig shocked them all by coming out to confess to the "crime."

Gwen and Will found Iris dramatically sobbing about her sister Candy, who she reported had died. She even gave Gwen a little cat figurine that she had played with as a child, which Will later examined closely before making a phone call. It turned out that the cat figurine was made in 2005; Iris was making inroads in guilting Gwen into a reconciliation when he interrupted to report that she was lying about the whole thing, because Candace is alive and well. Despite Iris's nutty range of tactics — ranging from her longing to repair the mother/daughter relationship to fears of turning back to drinking — Gwen was done with her. Once her daughter was out of earshot, Iris displayed her true character, rattling Will with an "I am who I am" speech about how she can't always contain her bad impulses — something he must understand. He warned Iris that if she came near Gwen again, he'd report her unauthorized L.A. trip her parole officer, then took his wife home. Iris vowed revenge as she watched them go.

Jack begged Carly to stop lying to him about warning Simon, but she pointed out that Jack can't expose her without admitting that he's the one who snitched to her that an arrest warrant had been issued. He noted that he only told her to prove that her sacrifice of Simon had been worth it; she tried making excuses, but he urged her to keep her mouth shut for her own good. Still, it was clear that he wasn't going to arrest her, which she seemed pretty confident about when Parker interrupted them. But Jack came home with Carly and their son, then searched the house for Simon. "I've given you like a hundred chances to save yourself," he argued, noting that he can't believe she'd give up her kids and her freedom for a thief. She responded that not only does Simon love her, but she loves him back. "Anybody who cares about you would never let you go to prison," said a shaken Jack. Carly tearfully insisted that Simon would never hurt her and furthermore, she hopes he's long gone and doesn't come back. After Jack bitterly assured her that he wouldn't arrest her tonight, Carly told Parker that both she and Simon had made a terrible mistake. Outside, Jack ordered his ex-wife be put under constant surveillance.

Katie bugged Henry to report to Mike that Simon was being arrested, as part of her cockamamie plan to win her husband back. "I am done with Simon for tonight," announced an exasperated Henry, who had just mixed up a martini in his room when of course Simon sauntered out of hiding and asked for his help. Their comically golden scene involved Simon's attempts to talk Henry into helping him, which eventually devolved into a bit of a wrestling match when Katie showed up at the door. Simon grabbed the martini and hid in the closet when Henry let her in. Simon overheard her say that she finally blames herself for losing Mike ... but that she still wants Simon to go to jail. After Henry managed to usher her out, Simon demanded that Henry get a message to Carly.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Katie, still out for blood, was delighted when the prince confirmed that the diamond Jack found was part of the crown jewels. Now that they had proof, Katie demanded that Simon and Carly be arrested instantly, then refused to celebrate with Henry and a flirtatious-as-ever Vienna until she had Mike back as well. "I have spent years wanting for you want you want for you," he said, urging her to give up her obsessive vendetta and realize that Simon's arrest wouldn't make Mike change his mind about her.

After Faith refused to dance with her father, Lily and Holden lamented Faith's decreased confidence and sullen attitude and pretty much spent the night being freaked out by her behavior. Later, Parker comforted Faith about the embarrassment of her parents' big dance number. "My parents are a joke.... Tonight, they're cool. By spring? I bet it's over," she grumped, after turning down a plate of food. Parker noted that he'd be delighted to just see his parents even acting happy like that again. He couldn't even find his own mother, after all.

Simon and Carly basked in the glow of their reunion sex and made promises not to leave each other again because they're all in love now. That's when Jack — having just defended Carly to Katie and the prince — called to tell her that he issued an arrest warrant for Simon — so thank goodness she dodged that bullet by leaving the thief! Carly, of course, had done no such thing, so she sent Simon off into hiding (after a passionate farewell) while Jack went to make the arrest and realized that someone had tipped him off. He found Carly's earring in the room and confronted her about aiding the Aussie's escape.

Casey and Maddie were having an incredibly romantic first New Year's Eve together — so much so that she was ready to have sex with him for the first time — until she found a slip of paper in his pocket about the online gambling debt, which she assumed was Adam's. Casey "confessed" that Elwood's the one with the problem and that Adam lent him the money. But Maddie didn't buy it: She wanted to know the extent of his problem. He swore that he's done gambling, but she went home alone.

Emily dragged Tom away from the New Year's party to lay out her convoluted lie to a skeptical Tom about how Craig set up Dusty and should therefore be arrested for his own shooting. Meanwhile, Meg nervously tried to keep an also-skeptical Craig occupied with romance. (Even Margo was suspicious when they returned to the New Year's party together.) Craig was grilling Meg about her weird behavior when Tom showed up with the cops and Emily to have them arrest him. Craig angrily watched Em and Meg share smiles of triumph.

Monday, January 1, 2007
Happy New Year from Soap Opera Digest and Weekly. Our offices are closed today. Recaps will continue on Tuesday.

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