Friday, March 30, 2007
Craig was meeting with the board of WorldWide when Dusty (his forehead mysteriously scratched) arrived to demand that he explain himself. Craig kicked him out again, so Dusty headed to the Lakeview where he shared a drink and mature conversation with Lucinda. When he assured her that she'll get her company back eventually, she noted that she could get it back now by giving up Lucy, but she reiterated to Dusty that she doesn't know where they are; he claimed not to either. She suggested that it would be interesting to let Craig believe that they do, but decided to table that option for another day. After they agreed that there are many things in life that are more important than business, Lucinda promised a supportive Dusty that she was going to be gentle and understanding with Lily.

Not long after Lucinda left, Craig (having apparently zipped through that board meeting) ran into Dusty, who had resigned from WorldWide. Dusty noted that Craig hasn't won anything, because he's still never going to see Lucy and Johnny again, then took a sad little walk through the dark little shopping village. There, he saw Jennifer's image in a window. "Jenny, I miss you," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I lost Johnny. I lost everything."

Lily was a little freaked to learn from Emma that Holden is coming home sooner than expected. "When Holden comes home, he's going to find out what a failure I really am," she lamented, which Faith walked in just in time to hear. She snuck back to the porch to eavesdrop as Emma assured Lily that Holden would not blame her for baby Ethan's illness and Lucinda won't stay mad forever. "There's nothing in the world that a mother can't forgive her child," reminded Emma, pointing out that as a mother herself, Lily should know that. When Emma headed to the barn for some chores, Faith went inside to find her mother digging for pills in her purse. "Please, I can't hear how I ruined someone else's life today," she told her daughter, but Faith just gave her a big hug, driving Lily to tears. Faith was still a little nervous that her parents could end up like Parker's, but Lily, neglecting to mention her own dalliance with home wrecker Simon, assured her that "there is no one else in the world for me except your dad." They then exchanged "I love you"s for the first time in awhile, which Lily definitely needed. She needed her pills though, too; she had already taken one when Lucinda arrived to talk, which is probably what made her so defensive when her mother asked why she went to Craig for help. In their nuanced argument, it was clear that Lucinda was mostly hurt that Lily didn't just trust her, while Lily assumed that Lucinda would never forgive her. That's when Lily dropped her pills and fell over herself trying to get them back from her mother, who demanded to know how long she'd been taking them. "I got the answer that I was looking for," sighed a deeply saddened Lucinda, handing them back. Lily protested that the pills are over the counter and perfectly safe. Lucinda pushed her to answer her question, and Lily broke down about how awful the last few months have been for her. La Walsh argued that the daughter she raised would hit the gym and fight, instead of going for the quick fix. She then realized that Craig knew about the pills and got really frustrated. A desperate Lily unconvincingly insisted that she can quit at any time, so Lucinda ordered her to tell Holden the truth. "Companies can be rebuilt. Families can only take so much before they break," Lucinda said before leaving. Faith, meanwhile, had listened to their entire conversation. She stepped in again later and saw her mother sobbing.

In the snowy border-town cabin, Gwen folded her torn shirt and flashed back to Evil Adam's vicious attack. The jumpy girl was being comforted by her husband when Casey and Maddie came back in to announce that it was time to go home; Casey pointed out that he's the only one who is legitimately in trouble with the law now. He also (kindly) noted that the whole mess was his fault in the first place because of his gambling problems, but the gang wasn't ready to just hang him out to dry. They pushed for resuming their original plan for a bohemian life on the run in Montreal, in which they could start anew as songwriters and Canadian college students. Casey pointed out how silly that little fantasy was, how they'd likely get caught and how he can't just desert his parents. Maddie worried that if they go home, they'll be forced apart. After he convinced her to go home and face the music, she noted that it's probably their last night together. They're teens in love, alone in a cabin, living like it was their last night on Earth — what do you think they decided to do to kill some time? Sex by candlelight! Casey thought they should wait for a more special locale, but Maddie was ready to get the romance on. (Thank goodness someone stocked that cabin with tasteful pillar candles!) "You're the kind of guy who makes a girl see that sex doesn't mean that a man is taking something away from her, it's that he's giving her something," she told him, all sweet and embarrassed, before they exchanged "I love you"s and started kissing.

Will and Gwen were at the general store to pay for the damages caused when he and Casey were locked in by Jade, who appears to have beaten it out of town already. The sheriff urged Will to stay out of trouble. "I'll try," he answered, heading back to Gwen, who was having a bit of a panic attack because some guy in the corner looked like Adam. Will started to grasp how completely freaked out she was by the horrible things that she'd done and that had happened to her. No matter her state of mind, he was in it for the long run (away, if necessary) with her. "Your whole family's [in Oakdale]," she protested. "You make that sound like it's a perk," was his response. She wondered if Adam called Margo and told her everything, but Will doubted that he'd want his mom, a rape victim, to know what he'd attempted. (So they remember that bit of history, but not the part where Adam was Never! This! Evil!) She then flinched when he tried to kiss her, but ever-understanding Will promised that he would wait until she was ready to talk about what happened with Evil Adam. "I'm not going anywhere," he vowed.

Thursday, March 29, 2007
Will and Casey arrived at the snowy cabin to find Maddie passed out outside. Casey attended to his girl while, unbeknownst to them, Will and Adam struggled over a knife inside. Will gained the upper hand and got that intense I'll-poison-your-mouthwash-in-a-heartbeat look in his eyes. "I don't see my brother; I don't know where he is. All I see is the pig who tried to rape my wife," yelled Will, which as far as we're concerned is the perfect excuse for us to continue our fantasy that the real Adam is tied up in some recording studio basement in L.A. and will be coming home soon to destroy his evil doppelgänger. Gwen tried to stop Will from killing his brother as Jade snuck out to get Casey and Maddie. Gwen finally managed to talk Will down by pointing out that if he killed him, he'd be just like Evil Adam. "That's the worst thing she could say to me," seethed Will, pulling away. Casey then went on the verbal attack, ordering Adam to just scram, so they can all get away with their various crimes. "I'm really glad our father never knew who you were," said Will, before Casey threatened to tell Margo everything if Adam doesn't call and convince her all is well. With one last word about what hypocrites they've been, Adam disappeared, presumably forever. "I think when dad died, he might have just snapped," noted Will. You think? Sure, that's a good excuse. Next up was Jade: To ensure their secret would be kept, Maddie went all Mean Girls on Jade, sneering that the Snyders would likely stop loving her if they knew she helped Adam haunt Oakdale's chosen kids. Jade won us over by making the excellent point that they've stolen, threatened and "killed" people (Well, not Will. Not recently, anyway.), but she's still considered the bad guy. "I thought you guys were cool. Well, three of you anyways," she snarked (she was looking at you, Maddie!), before bitterly agreeing to keep mum. Outside, though, Jade told herself that it's actually not over. Inside, the teens pondered what to do next. Surely, they'll find another smooth-talking psychopath to keep them busy soon enough.

After finishing up their show, Katie and Brad perused a little reader mail; Brad was hung up on a hair critique, but one fan requested a visit, so Brad pitched a contest: Win A Day With Brad And Katie (which is totally real — check our Calendar section for info), in which they'll go to someone's house and do a chore for them. Katie eventually relented, even after Brad lied to Kim that she had agreed before she actually had.

Sage was bummed because it's mother-daughter day at school and her mom is, of course, on the lam, sending Jack into the kind of Perfect Father mode that could melt even the coldest of kid-allergic hearts. "You're just like your mom. She'd rather be mad than sad," he said, sweetly assuring his daughter that Carly loves her so much, nothing will stop her from trying to see her again. He then decided that she didn't have to go to school and took her to Al's for a treat. They were discussing their clashing tastes in movies when Katie arrived to perk up Sage's (and Jack's) day with an offer to bring her to WOAK for a makeover. Sage was delighted; it turns out she's a fan of OAKDALE NOW, thanks to Emma. Jack was so touched by her gesture — even though little Sage came back all painted up with piles of makeup — that he impulsively asked her out to dinner. She accepted, but later learned she couldn't make it because she and Brad had to shoot the promo for their contest. Observing their bickering over the script, Kim whispered, "That's what they call old-fashioned chemistry" to Jack, whose face fell.

Craig offered Lucinda a deal: she can keep her company if she reveals the whereabouts of Lucy and Johnny. La Walsh insisted, quite convincingly, that she doesn't know, nor does she want to, where his children are. So it's war: after some low blows about how badly Lily screwed up, Craig declared his intention to take complete control of WorldWide. Lily, tears welling in her eyes, admitted to her mother that it was, indeed, all her fault. A rather forgiving Lucinda suggested that she make a concerted effort to change as she promised. Craig soon returned with security and had Lucinda escorted out — but not before she slapped him a few times with her gloves! Alone, Lily berated Craig for his betrayal; he weakly apologized, saying he never meant to hurt her, only use her to destroy her mother. Lily warned him that La Walsh won't give up with a fight, and now she'll help. Lucinda went to Al's to cool down and ran into Emma. These two divine mothers had an awesome heart-to-heart — nothing was more fabulous than Emma sighing about how everyone expects her to bake and be the happy homemaker all the time — about how much they worry about and are disappointed in their beautiful, intelligent, warm, mistake-prone daughters. (Though considering Lucinda and Emma's close connections to each other's daughters, maybe they should just trade problem kids.)

Wednesday, March 28, 2007
At the police station, Tom reported to Margo that Casey's missing; she noted that their son left a message saying he'd be at the dorm patching things up with Elwood, which she neglected to mention before now. They moved their conversation to Al's, where Tom — who has lost his temper so much more often than ever before since he had the heart attack — got a little overheated about Casey's inability to pick up a cell phone. Elwood then arrived to inadvertently blow Casey's cover by asking the Hugheses where their son was.

In their rustic cabin in an undisclosed snowy location (a hop and a skip from "Canada"), the runaway gang woke up in sleeping bags, and Casey provided juice boxes and animal crackers to fuel their run for their border. Will, who's always been pretty hard core about running away, suggested that they ration their food in order to keep public sightings to the minimum. No sooner did the boys decide to do just that by going to get them all fake IDs while the girls stayed home to clean. That's when someone — duh, Evil Adam — snuck up through the fluffy fake-looking snow to freak out Maddie and Gwen. They investigated and saw a raccoon; a charmed Maddie wanted to feed him, but Gwen rejected the idea of messing with the balance of nature. They looked forward to their fabulous new lives in the Canadian wilderness and Maddie declared her desire to make up for that whole manslaughter thing by doing something to "help people, study to become a nurse or something." She then went to gather firewood when the mystery person — Evil Adam! — hit her on the head with a log (tit for tat, really). Gwen was inside doing a full-on extreme makeover on a bed frame (aren't they leaving soon?) when Evil Adam appeared and set her off on her patented high-pitched screaming. He then grabbed her and, after noting that Will mourned him for about five minutes (true!), confessed to his brilliant job of haunting her. "I want to see the look on Will's face when he walks in here and sees us together," he snarled, before arguing with a terrified Gwen about who's to blame for the various twists in their storyline. (While understandably vengeful, he soon began saying and doing more evil things until we had to pretend once again that he's just some random guy named Adam.)

At the general store, Will distracted the jovial local sheriff with lies about the film he's shooting while Casey talked to his fake ID contact on the rotary phone (we were spared the full dialing today). They needed more money to buy the passports, but after a failed attempt to get day laborer jobs (the sole narrative purpose of which seems to have been giving Adam a chance to jump the girls), they got ready to return to the cabin. But first, they commiserated about how bummed they feel when they remember that their brother is dead (!) and Casey noted that he hopes Margo never finds out. Before they left, they saw Jade peering through the frosty window like the Poor Little Match Girl; she ended up creepily locking them in. Realizing that their women were helpless and alone, they gathered up all of the heavy stuff in the store for use as battering rams.

Iris ran into Barbara in the little shopping village in Oakdale. After some who-knows-more-about-what-the-children-are-up-to jousting, Iris "let it slip" that Gwen, Will and Maddie had run off, and also didn't do much to hide the fact that she seems to suddenly be flush with cash. Babs beelined it to the Hugheses. "I see I'm not the only one out of the loop," she mused, hearing the lame excuse they had accepted for Maddie's absence over Spring Break, and noted that Mads had likely gotten all the kids in trouble as usual, because Barbara gets bored if there's no female friend of one of her sons on which to spew all of her scorn. Tom and Margo didn't let on that they were currently unaware of the whereabouts of their bail-jumping son. (Or the other, Evil one, for that matter.) After Barbara left, they checked Maddie's alibi, which didn't stand up, and discussed her sketchiness of late, as well as the fact that the kids they've "raised" all suddenly went delinquent, like they'd hit their expiration date or something. The cop and DA finally deduced that Casey had run off with Maddie because she was in trouble. Tom asked Margo to stall for 24 hours before once again putting out an APB on one their sons.

Meanwhile, "I want what I've always wanted — more!" a crazed Adam yelled at Gwen, who tearfully noted that she belongs to his brother. No matter: After invoking Hal's (Hal's!) name, Evil Adam simply forced himself on her. Jade walked in and after an initially unconvincing order that he let go of Gwen, tried to pull him off of her. Evil couldn't-possibly-be-the-real-Adam then knocked out Jade before pinning Gwen to the ground and ripping off her shirt, as Maddie started to wake up outside.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Henry met Katie for a swanky dinner party celebrating his engagement to Vienna, who was a bit late, so Henry left Katie to awkwardly wait by herself while he tracked down his bride-to-be. Luckily, Jack showed up to be flirty and sweet to Katie before the betrothed pair returned. But since there weren't as many guests as they seemed to be expecting and Jack was soon called away on police business, Katie became the awkward third wheel again — and also had Henry's happiness (rightfully) rubbed in her face. Luckily (depending on your perspective, this time) Brad showed up; Katie begged him to stick around to make her feel more comfortable. Henry and Vienna then went off to dance, leaving the co-hosts to their lighthearted bickering. Trying to impress her with his many "skills," Brad strolled over and — Don't do it! Don't do it! — started strumming a guitar, which of course Simon totally used to do (which we were reminded of instantly, so kudos to the show for including it). Katie naturally burst into tears and ran out. Henry almost went after her, but Brad pointed out that he's the one who apparently upset her so he should go. Henry still continued to fret about not going after her himself, exasperating Vienna. "Why do everybody have to run after that blonde killjoy?" complained the heiress, struggling with the language in her blind rage.

Outside, Brad found Katie first (thanks to Henry's tip that she window shops when she's upset), and learned that the "jewel thief that ran off with Jack's wife, the Australian guy" is the guy he reminded her of — the guy she wishes she'd forgotten long ago, because it ended up costing her her marriage as well. Brad gently said she's lucky to have had such great love twice in her life, because he's never had it even once. Brad then got her to laugh by suggesting that when he finds and inevitably loses love, they can sit on a bench together while he cries on her sleeve. That's when Jack showed up to take over the comforting duties, earning a big hug and an "honorary brother" distinction from Katie, which didn't seem to thrill him. Gosh, Vienna's right — everyone's worried about Katie! It sure was making Vienna (of all people!) insecure, but Henry sweetly assured her that she's the only woman he loves and wants. She dragged him upstairs for some romance, which left Brad with the check. (He passed it off to Jack.)

Meg caught Craig spying on her kissing Paul and went outside to explain that while he's her buddy, Paul's the one she wants to kiss and she's still confused anyway. Or something like that. "Hard to believe I am human," admitted a hurt Craig, who was taken aback by the sight of her and Paul but noted that they never made any commitments to each other. Meg looked a little perplexed by his cold and blasé attitude, but went back inside to defend her good friend Craig. Paul asked what Craig wanted in return for his kindness, warning her that a jilted man could cause problems. After much discussion about the space he's given her in which he teased "you like me," with a goofy grin, she suggested that they agree to disagree on Craig; Paul surprised her by accepting, then grabbed her hand to leave. He then actually faked a vision (!) of their brilliant future together.

Craig pulled into his parking space at WorldWide (which should likely improve soon) to have a few more guilty flashbacks of Meg thanking him for his selflessness before calling his lawyer to order that the papers be filed. Upstairs, Dusty and a very nervous Lily were just breaking the E. coli details and the lawsuit news to an increasingly more annoyed Lucinda when Craig arrived. "Please tell me that you've wandered into this office by mistake," hissed Lucinda, but poor, gullible Lily noted that Craig "generously" offered a loan to bail them out of trouble — here, Craig slyly foreshadowed that it wasn't exactly a loan — before finally handing the papers to Dusty and Lucinda. They pored over them and quickly deduced that Lily had made a horrible, horrible mistake. She protested that she didn't read the fine print, because Craig's her friend and all. "Fine print? You didn't read any print!" Lucinda scolded, before berating Craig for taking advantage of Lily, using the old candy-from-a-baby analogy. Craig coolly suggested that they meet in the morning to discuss the "transfer and reorganization" of WorldWide. Dusty followed him out to call him a coward and was punished with a security escort out of the building. In her most stern voice of parental disappointment, a pragmatic Lucinda told an overwhelmed Lily that it was too late to do anything to save WorldWide from Craig's clutches, which she said "is not as appalling to me as the news that my own daughter handed it to him on a silver platter."

Monday, March 26, 2007
Lily insisted to a livid Dusty that Craig is only helping by offering to take care of the tainted baby food lawsuits. He challenged her drug-addled faith by making her realize that she doesn't even know what she owes Craig in return. Dusty was further horrified when she admitted that she'd already signed papers without reading them. At the Lakeview, Meg praised Craig for his seemingly selfless salvation of Lily. His protests made him look even more humble, but he was actually feeling a little guilty. She spent some time trying to "convince" him that he really is the good person she always knew him to be at heart before heading home. Dusty then arrived to find out how much of her soul, exactly, Lily inadvertently sold Craig to save WorldWide. A lot, as Craig hinted while Dusty simmered. Craig then coolly noted that his response was "measured," considering the things that Dusty has done to him. "I don't know how you live with yourself," responded Dusty matter-of-factly, noting his complete betrayal of Lily. Craig flashed guiltily back on Meg's praise before Dusty took off. Craig's lawyer then arrived with the paperwork: as soon as it's filed, the company will belong to Craig. He urged the lawyer not to file it just yet.

Lily was taking some of her diet pills when Dusty returned with the bad news: Craig wouldn't show him the contracts. She got a lot more defensive in her hopped-up state, but an annoyed Dusty just picked up the phone to call Lucinda.

Paul walked Faith home, telling her that he wanted to walk off the cookies she brought him because he's "feeling a little fat." That earned him a pointed look from the girl, as Parker joined them in the Snyder kitchen. Calling himself "the swami," Paul sat the kids down on the floor and unwrapped a brand-new Ouja board. Lots of cutesy attempts to contact spirits commenced. Parker, adorably, was completely skeptical about the whole silly game, so Paul decided to ask the "great spirit" what Faith's deepest, darkest secret was. She was understandably upset about that creepy query, but Paul coaxed her back by apologizing for asking such a personal question. She sat back down and as Meg arrived, Paul asked the next question — "Who does Aunt Meg love?" — The answer: P-A-U-L! He shrugged and grinned goofily at his ex, as if to say that he has no control over what info those mischievous "spirits" will impart. She smiled widely back, indicating that perhaps the spirits are correct. The kids then lured Aunt Meg into the game, and Paul asked the great spirit who "Aunt Meg can't resist." Meg teased him with a "C," but soon made the pointer spell out Paul again. All the romantic tension soon sent the kids scurrying upstairs with a lame excuse, and Paul moved in for some "canoodling," as he called it. Meg, as usual, was rendered weak-kneed by his onslaught of sweetness. Craig spied their tender kisses.

In their rustic cabin hideout, Will and Gwen frantically packed as Maddie nervously wondered what Casey is going to do. The Munsons pointed out that not only has he just learned that his brother is dead, but that his girlfriend killed him, another friend helped bury him in a shallow mound in the woods and then his very best friend helped them run away to escape justice. And worst of all, they didn't trust him enough to include him in their lawbreaking! Will suggested that they row across the lake and catch a bus there, in case Casey goes straight to the cops. Indeed, Casey ran into a sheriff as soon as he got to the general store. Rather than ratting out his friends, he mumbled out a request to use the phone. After about five minutes of old-fashioned rotary dialing, he asked to speak with Margo. Meanwhile, Maddie had decided to turn herself in while her friends fled to Canada. Casey returned to the cabin just then and confessed that he called Margo, but hung up (and after all that dialing!). He was still a little conflicted about what they'd done (because he's the one family member to actually be mourning Adam, who was a really great brother until he wasn't), but he decided that he's got no right to pass judgment on them for their mistakes, even if those mistakes include manslaughter. Regardless, he still loves Maddie and he's now jumped bail to find them, so Casey will be joining them on the run ... forever. Luckily, Casey also met a guy online who can make them all fake passports. Will reiterated that if they do this, they've got to become completely new people, so they all sat in a circle and burned their IDs in a cast iron skillet, then joined hands like they were about to play round of Ouja themselves.

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