Friday, July 15, 2005
Nikolas and Courtney traded sob stories about her deviled eggs and the fact that Emily fakes it, even cracking out the bottle of champagne that Courtney had smuggled into the Un-Stable. "If I thought love could heal Emily, I would never give up," bemoaned Prince Nik. Up at the Waldorf-Alcazaria, Jax and Lucky circled like two territorial mutts as Jax accused Lucky of being petty and wanting to stake claim on Elizabeth's uterus and Lucky basically told him he could shove his checkbook where the sun don't shine. Elizabeth broke up the argument, shocking a smug Jax when she told him to back off, but it seemed too late for a hurt Lucky. "Just call us un-engaged," he said, taking back his proposal. Jax stopped his exit, accusing him of taking his ball and going home. Maybe he shouldn't have played at all, Lucky said, sadly. "I don't buy your innocence," Jax snarked. Well, that was the first thing he hadn't tried to buy so far, Lucky snarked back! Liz then blasted Jax for his business-like worldview and his treatment of Lucky and they called off the contract. A tearful Liz removed her ring but, later, she and Lucky sheepishly laughed about having a nice evening out. "You are all I need," reassured Liz, earnestly, asking him, "Lucky, will you please marry me?" Meanwhile, Nikolas and Courtney decided to take out their frustrations sparring with a sack of oats. The Cinderella Man and the Million Dollar Baby, they ain't! Courtney accidentally knocked out Nikolas. They drunkenly giggled and tried to stop the bleeding and Nikolas curled up on Courtney's lap...just as a wet, angry Jax burst in. Uh-oh...

At the Firelit Love Shack, Maxie and Jesse made googly eyes at each other and kept the light off until Jenna arrived looking for a phone to use. Well, she couldn't very well find one in the dark. As she went to flip the switch, Jesse noticed the funky liquid in the lightbulb. He grabbed Maxie and they dove for the door as Jenna got turned into extra crispy nuggets. Murphy loomed over the unconscious couple but Jesse soon jumped him. After a struggle, the kids handcuffed Officer Soap Star to the porch and hightailed it out of there. Over at the hospital, the Scorpio-Joneses plus Dillon were worried about Maxie, but Georgie wasn't too worried to be inappropriately jealous of Maxie's adventure. Dillon stroked her ego and then Mac asked Dillon for "bad boy" insight into Jesse's behavior. "Jesse is no Dillon and you know it!" Georgie defended. Well, they could ask Jesse himself about his behavior. He and Maxie arrived to give the 411 on Officer Soap Star's evil shenanigans and deep fried Jenna. Of course, the minute Maxie left to get a check-up, The Mac Daddy and his uniforms manhandled Jesse. A cop at the Love Shack site saw no sign of Murphy. And that meant Jesse was going to meet Miranda, her rights, and a shiny pair of cuffs!

Back at La Casa Alcazar, Alexis was feverish so Sonny offered to go for help. Uh-uh, no way, if anyone was going, it would be Lorenzo. (What is this, Male Posturing Day?) Ric didn't care as long as somebody got off their duff! Carly cautioned Lorenzo but he really wanted to help the baby (since the Alcazar track record with pregnant Alexis = not so good). In response to her typical Sonny rage, he warned, "Anger and spite can keep the ties between two people alive." Oh, how prophetic. He went off to be heroic after his wife called him "Lo" (aww!) and made him promise to come back to her. Ric continued to be a rock for Alexis, bringing her a raspberry ice pop. They talked about their marriage and Ric haltingly, adorably, wondered if they could postpone that Divorce Thing. In Morgan's room, Reese cuddled a fussy Morgan as Sonny looked on, fondly. Carly was not nearly so pleased. Sonny whisked the boy away before she could take him, leaving her and Reese to snipe at each other. "Predator." "Carnivore." Yo' Mama. Combat Boots. Anger. Spite. Carly didn't know what Reese wanted and if it was Sonny, she could have him. "But you don't get my children," she warned, passionately. Fine. Got it. "Say it again like you mean it," Carly said, grabbing Reese. Reese repeated herself and shoved Carly away...into furniture. G'night, John Boy! As Carly came to, she flashed back to her pal Charlotte's accident and she blearily stared up at Reese. No, it couldn't be..."How can you be Charlotte?" she whispered as Sonny appeared in the doorway.

Thursday, July 14, 2005
Maxie and Jesse stopped canoodling before they could get to the Naked Part and it wasn't because of her recent heart problems or their even more recent acquaintance. It was because Jesse wanted to wait and make it "special." Special, shmecial, thought Officer Soap Star and Jenna, lurking outside. Jenna interrupted the lovebirds, kicking them back out into the rain to do some chores, and then the Murph-Man snuck in, having had time to shave off ALL his facial hair AND find some mysterious liquid that, when injected into a lightbulb, would make it go boom! Naturally, when Maxie and Jesse came back in, they decided to make out instead of switching on the light. Just when Maxie finally did get around to the switch again, Jesse cautioned, "No!" Over at the Alcazar's Crystal Castle, Ric and Alexis were waiting out the rains and trying to pick out baby names. Bunny Lansing-Davis? Uh...no. Owen Lansing Davis? His initials would be "OLD!" And so forth. They talked about being raised without mothers, joked names again ("Minerva") and then bantered some more...but then Ric noticed that Alexis felt warm. What if the baby had caught the infection?

Nikolas carried Courtney into the Alcazar Un-Stable after finding her car in a nearby ditch. They bonded in that "we're SO going to be paired together" way as, up at the Wait Till the Storm Abates Motel, Lucky had to cornily (he even admitted it!) assure Elizabeth, "My love was misplaced for a while but it was never lost" and "you're my soulmate" before she'd let him slip the ring on. They smooched and giggled adorably as Jax, Emily, Nikolas, and Courtney all showed up. A quick game of catch-up was played, ending with the giddy engagement announcement and the gals cooing over Elizabeth's cute ring (and how did Lucky afford it if they're broke?) and making wedding plans. Courtney wondered if Jax was feeling possessive over Elizabeth and her uterus because he seemed kinda underwhelmed. She went back to the stables to brood and as Nikolas and Emily showed up there to fight about Emily "faking it," she hid behind a hay bale. Awkward! After Em walked out in a huff, Courtney revealed herself and she and Nik bonded some more over his marital woes. Meanwhile, Jax asked Liz to hold off on the marriage until the baby was born — purely from the "legal perspective." Riiiight. After some chatting, Elizabeth assured him that she and Lucky were flexible on wedding dates. "Flexible about what?" Lucky wondered coming with a tea tray. Uh-oh...

At Castle Greyskull, Jason put passed-out Sam on the couch and ran upstairs as Michael cried out from a nightmare. Dr. Thomas came in and loomed over her creepily as Jason comforted Mikey and actually suggested he talk to Dr. T. about his nightmare. No, he really did! Of course, when they came downstairs, he saw Dr. T. looming and promptly changed his mind. Dr. T. condescended to him about his wishy-washiness. He wound up letting the shrink and Michael chat when Sam came to and groggily reminded him how much Mikey's nightmares suck. Jason gave her some water as they talked about Dr. T. and the looming. "Maybe I wanted to see something that made me doubt him." He just didn't trust the guy. Upstairs, the doc and Mikey had a nice visit and Dr. T. left his shiny PDA behind. Ooo! Jason and Sam were cute (yes, again!) about her lack of alcohol tolerance. She used to drink guys three times his size under the table! Maybe living with Jason was making her soft! They were about to kiss when Dr. T. interrupted. Darn! Then, Jason checked on Michael, and the tyke showed him how to boot up the shrink's PDA. Gasp! He ran downstairs but Sam told him Dr. T. had vamoosed. Oh, no! There was an appointment with Mac Scorpio in his planner. Would he spill about Michael killing AJ? Jason ran out in hot pursuit...

Wednesday, July 13, 2005
At Castle Greyskull, Jason wondered if he was hurting Michael because of his brain damage and Sam assured him, "Normal is way overrated." She touchingly waxed poetic about how he was a wonderful and amazing person (despite the fact that he's a hitman). While over in Jenna's Love Shack, Maxie chose quality time with Cute Wanted Jesse over sleep. Jesse admitted involving her in his shenanigans had been "reckless and dumb" but he was a sucker for her eyes (so's Diego, go figure!). The two began a heavy make-out session and Jesse tried to pull back but Maxie promised he wouldn't be one of her bad decisions. (Would their pairing be "Messie"? The relationship sure might be...) Sam's impassioned tears took an intimate turn but the fact that Dr. T. and Michael were in the house kind of killed the mood for Jason. So, the duo chose tequila shots and a domino challenge over more horizontal pursuits (because drinking tequila with a child upstairs is SO much better?). Kelly Monaco and Steve Burton possibly ad-libbed the cute drunken tomfoolery as they literally swapped some spit.

Over at Hurricane Central (aka The Crystal Castle or La Casa Alcazar), Liz assured Jax she wanted to keep being his womb with a view. Jax provided Liz with insight as she told him she didn't get why Lucky was so darned ticked off. "Men...naturally insecure." And he'd probably have issues if Courtney were carrying Lucky's child and there was that whole Pride Thing, ya know. "Cameron's another man's child," a fearful Liz pointed out. Jax countered that Cameron's father was dead and there's room for Lucky in his life. The Awesome Aussie's words seemed to sink in as, in another room, Emily basically told Lucky to suck it up and get over himself because at least he and Liz were in better shape than her and Nikolas. That seemed to work as well as Jax's approach because Lucky and Liz wound up in a room together and they traded heartfelt apologies. Aww! "Baby don't you get it, you DO make my dreams come true," Liz told Lucky, "Our life together IS my dream come true." "I want to give you more than that," Lucky told her, tearfully kissing her and then getting down on one knee. "Elizabeth, will you marry me?" he asked.

At YET another large room in the Alcazar compound (what IS this place, the Waldorf?), it was seven years bad luck as Carly noted Lorenzo was feeling kind of Sonny. Er...funny. Well, Sonny seemed to hold her attention, her hubby reasoned. He asked Carly to 'fess up so they could walk away from each other "before more than a mirror gets broken." Over in the Un-stable, Sonny provided Reese with an analysis of Carly and her inability to share. "The best way to get back at Carly is not to engage," he advised. That settled, the two hit the hay...literally. When post-coital Reese woke up murmuring "Caroline," she told some penny-ante story about high school that didn't remotely jog Sonny's memory about his ex-wife being named Caroline. That bullet dodged, the twosome chatted about Sonny's views on betrayal and forgiveness — how he hates the first and is baaaad at the second. "Promise me that you will never betray me," he urged of the person totally lying to his face. Back at the Crystal Castle, Carly professed her love, but wondered, "Maybe you can only love an ideal." Which version of her did Lorenzo love? "My love for you is no illusion. It is the driving force of my life," he assured. The two made up and Carly promised to never lie about Sonny again. Back in the hay, Reese was stalling but ended up pulling a Scarlett O'Hara. "As God as my witness, Sonny. I will never betray you," she swore. And, amazingly, lightning didn't strike either woman! Percy Sledge's "When a Man Loves a Woman" did, however, start playing as Liz nodded "yes" to Lucky's proposal, Sonny and Reese danced, Lorenzo unbuttoned his shirt ready to christen the couch with Carly and Maxie and Jesse began making love (should she even be DOING that in her condition?). Not quite getting lucky (or Lucky) were the ultra-playful Jason and Sam. As they tussled, Sam passed out, learning the important chant of one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Jesse and Officer Soap Star struggled over the gun and Maxie bonked Murphy over the head. Unfortunately, Jenna and her shotgun interrupted before they could get him to confess. She shooed away Murphy and told the kids they had to hit the road the minute the rain stopped. After she left and met up with the Murphmeister outside, Jesse kept trying to get Maxie into bed. No, not THAT way. He wanted her to rest. She didn't quite comply and the two chatted about family and bonded and Stared Longingly. They even had a Meaningful Montage of their two weeks or so of history. Jesse gazed out the window in a Sonny-like fashion and then stroked Maxie's hair. "I'm not asleep," she murmured, taking his hand. Ooo. Somewhere vague and road-like, Courtney was driving through the pouring rain and she swerved and crashed. Ouch! Meanwhile, back in Port Chuckles, Jodie and Michael had a creepy visit up in his room where she wondered how he would know for sure if he killed AJ unless he talked about it. Downstairs, Sam and Jason's wine and marshmallows were interrupted by Dr. Thomas, who wanted to headshrink Jason. Sam tried to defend her man as Dr. T. talked about Jason screwing up Michael with his lack of empathy and lack of love for therapy. "He's right," a haunted Jason conceded. He didn't know how to imagine, he didn't know how Michael felt. He went out into the rain to brood as Sam turned on Dr. Thomas. "You bastard!" she hissed, railing at him. Despite all her Jason cheerleading, when he came back from brooding, Jason asked Sam, "Do YOU think I'm hurting Michael?"

At La Casa Alcazar, Emily was a big downer telling Alexis that she and her baby were at risk. After some cheering up banter with Ric and Jax, they got Alexis upstairs to a bedroom. She and Ric bonded over a call with Kristina and she asked Ric to take care of the tot in the event of her death. Ric told her to invoke her force of will and beat this "because you can" and said he would be there to help her. Awww! Not so bondage-y were Nikolas and Em, who hashed out their non-relationship on a hunt for pillows. "You pretend to be happy. I pretend to believe it. I just can't pretend anymore," said Nik, accusing Emily of looking for the door. Downstairs, Lucky overheard Elizabeth and Jax making nice and when Liz questioned the Awesome Aussie about his bruised face, the Cranky Cop interrupted with, "I hit him." Lucky's anger and bitterness toward the "sugar daddy" shocked Liz and Jax quickly excused himself as the two had their first major fight over the bills, his pride, her uterus, etc. "I can't believe you would rather have a baby for Jax than be with me," concluded Lucky, his voice breaking. Jax later came upon a teary Elizabeth and offered to call things off but pay her anyway. "What if I'm already pregnant?" she wondered.

Over in the Alcazar Un-stable, Dimples and Duct Tape came upon Carly crouched over Reese. Sonny automatically assumed Carly had whacked his bed bunny a good one. No way, Jose, defended Lorenzo. She didn't do this, just like she didn't clobber Reese at the penthouse. "I DID do that," sheepish Carly admitted. Oh. Whoops. But she didn't do it this time! And Reese was saying funny stuff! When Reese woke up, Sonny tried to get her to finger Carly as her attacker, even implying Reese was covering for his ex. Reese waved away the suspicion and dodged the queries about her strange mumbling. The Alcazars went back to the main house, leaving Sonny to question Reese again about her version of events. Reese assured him she could handle Carly and he couldn't help but wonder what she really wanted: To have a relationship with him or to beat Carly. In the Crystal Castle's great room, Carly vented about everything going wrong (would that be Officer Murphy's Law?) and the Dimpled Don thinking she'd hit Reese, etc. "Enough!" yelled Lorenzo, pulling a Sonny and pitching furniture across the room. "You will not make a fool out of me while you chase after Sonny Corinthos," he warned as Carly looked at him, shocked...

Monday, July 11, 2005
Maxie and Jesse played tonsil hockey in Jenna's firelit love shack and then Maxie saw Officer Soap Star in the window! Eeee! She screeched and armed, wet, sexy Jesse rushed into the storm pursuing the peeping Tom...er...Murphy. Over at the hospital, Maxie's family and friends were worried about her being out in the hurricane with the Cute Wanted Dude — except for Brook who was annoyed that it was all about Maxie, Maxie, Maxie. When Jesse came back, a cranky Jenna sent him and Maxie out into the rain to prep for the downpour. After Mac dissuaded the teens from running off to the rescue, Brookie called Diego on his Maxie Lust. "Fine, I admit it," the hombre 'fessed up despite his weeks of saying otherwise. And Brookie wasn't so happy with his honesty, nuh-uh! She said Maxie was a "lying, conniving..." and that's as far as she got because Felicia came up and made her apologize. Go, Recast Mom! A huffy Brook ended up 86-ing the whole romance with Diego and it would've been more effective had her blouse not looked like she made it out of curtains. Meanwhile, Dillon sweetly comforted an increasingly upset Felicia. No, not THAT way (here's to you, Mrs. Scorpio-Jones...) because he kept mentioning his Georgie love. "You're such a sweet boy," said Recast Mom. Awww! Back at the cabin, wet, sexy, Officer Murphy visited Jenna. They were in cahoots! And when Maxie and Jesse returned to the Love Shack, there was no time to dry off...Officer Murphy burst in and held them at gunpoint. Gasp! He was the dirty cop! And he was going to shoot them! Gasp! As Jenna watched through the window, a shot rang out...and Maxie screamed!

At the Crystal Castle, Lorenzo and Carly's party guests weren't exactly enjoying canapes. Ric brought in a cramping Alexis and Lorenzo hauled out a magic stash of duct tape and passed it out for people to start reinforcing the windows (so THAT's what he's importing now). Carly overheard Reese talking about Hurricane Andrew and horse care but Reese covered, saying she'd been in Florida horse country on a case. Riiight. Meanwhile, Elizabeth, Em, and Ric hovered over Alexis and snarky Lucky punched out Jax for being rich. "You can pretty much buy anything you want," he accused. "Even babies." Jax offered to call things off but still give him the dough and Lucky told him to stick it. Elsewhere, The Dimpled Don actually complimented the Duct Tape Don for giving Carly her Barbie Dream House. Then, he advised, "Don't hold on to her if she doesn't want to be with you." "You think I could've fallen in love with a happily married woman?" Lorenzo countered. Ooo! But Carly was chained up in the Panic Room when he met her. Oooo! "She was chained to YOU!" Lorenzo snarled, listing all the ways Sonny hurt and dishonored Carly. Sonny's new bed bunnies would never measure up! Game, set, and match to the Duct Tape Don!

In Girlfight news, Reese snarked at Carly and called her a prostitute, saying "it must be genetic." Can Bobbie please fire her now? Carly slapped her a good one, the Dons arrived to break up the battle and BOTH guys sided with Carly. "I don't know what sick game this is but I obviously don't know the rules," Reese snapped, walking out into the rain. "Maybe she'll melt like the witch she is," Carly hoped. Nearby, Lucky complained about Jax to an unsympathetic Nikolas — who had no room to talk since he and Em were oh-so-dysfunctional. Elizabeth waved off some offers to help out with Alexis, even though Lorenzo volunteered, "Well, I've delivered children in the past." Dr. Meadows parlayed suggestions via Jax's mighty-mighty satellite cell phone. It turned out Lex's amniotic fluid was leaking. And that could be very, very bad. Ric held his estranged wife close. Aww. And was that Sonny subtly apologizing for another stormy night, another pregnancy, and a bullet to the head? Maybe, but Carly didn't want to get into All of That Stuff (for once). She headed out to the stables to resist the temptation and found Reese unconscious. Reese came to long enough to mutter something like "how could you sleep with...?" and accuse Carly of destroying...something. But she conked back out before saying what...