Friday, August 26, 2005
The (not so) Bossy Aussie soothed Liz and Lucky's fears, saying he wanted his marriage to be rock solid by the time the baby was born. "There's no pressure," a wet Nikolas promised Emily. She murmured that she loved him and fled with the umbrella. A visibly upset Courtney then joined him on the Elm Cheat Pier. Back at the Little Clinic, Jason Tarantino beat up the Reservoir Thugs. Once the slo-mo faded, he slammed the doctor against the wall and asked where Sam went. During Reese and Sonny's post-coital chatter, Carly appeared on the terrace! (How'd she get up there? What is she, Spiderwoman?) As Carly pressed herself against the glass (where's that Windex?), Sonny asked Reese to move in. The surviving thug crawled into the hall and told Jason about the island that he'd had the luck to forget. Mr. Blank Slate insisted on being taken there. Over at Captive Audience Island, Zyrtec needed Sam to sign some papers and was insulted when Sam wondered if she'd killed Alee-See-Ya, too. Jax continued to make pretty promises. "Well, if you really mean what you're saying...then everything that happened tonight was worth it." Liz said. When Lucky was suspicious, Jax told him to butt out. He needed to convince his wife, not the Curious Cop. On the docks, Courtney waxed poetic about Emily's torch versus her spark and generally rambled in a way that meant "I'm jealous but I'd be a jerk if I admitted it." When she tried to flee, Nik stopped her. "What about us?" Nik wondered. "I don't think we were a mistake." (Then why were you kissing up to your wife five seconds ago?)

"We're past the pain now. I'm so ready for the good stuff," Sonny told Reese. So, she agreed to move in and the flirty couple smooched as Spiderwoman watched. Back at the Allergy Shack, two cops arrested Sam-as-Alicia for killing Andrew (hey, it's a temporary rescue from Helena-Lite). Jason showed up and got more confused as Allegra filled him in on the storyline. The real Alicia (note the heinous wig) strolled in crowing about how she really did off Andrew. Nikolas (at Wyndemere) and Courtney (at her loft) shared an angsty montage about their Not Sleeping Together. This didn't bode well for their marriages...and a glass and a cup shattered Very Symbolically. Reese and Sonny left to go on a "first date" and Carly bypassed the nonexistent security system and let herself in. She wrote "whore" on Reese's mirror with lipstick and ripped up a pillow. (Can she burn that brown blanket, too? Everybody in PC has had sex on it.) At GH, Emily and Liz traded positive news about the baby and Em's marriage. Maybe it was the intervention, maybe the WDST, but Em wanted her man back. Too bad he was pacing with Courtney on the brain. Reese and Sonny ate gelato and flirted and decided to try living in the moment like Jason (I wouldn't — his current moment sucks for him). Reese headed back to the penthouse to grab her toothbrush. Carly was still redecorating it with gusto when she found Reese's gun in a drawer. Uh-oh. Who forgot the Carly-proof locks?

At GH, Liz hoped that craving vanilla ice cream didn't mean her kidlet would be boring. Only if it turned out like Dad, snarked Lucky. "Hey, no Jax bashing!" chuckled Liz. (Does that mean we can't call him the Bossy Aussie?) Lucky had a smart question, though: what if Courtney didn't want to work things out? That's exactly what she was pondering when Nik left her voicemail asking to see her and Jax let himself in to the loft. Jason and Claritin showed up at the jail, Sam knocked out Ali and they left her there. Reese entered the unlocked penthouse to find it totally trashed in the wake of Hurricane Carly's rampage. She called Sonny to give him a heads-up but Carly showed up at Greystone. "You can't leave now," she said, aiming Reese's gun. Jax said All The Right Things to Courtney, swearing, "I just want the future to be about us." "What about Nikolas?" Courtney asked. Well, he was drowsing at his desk when Emily walked in. She saw two wine glasses and wondered, "Were you expecting someone?" "Well, yes." As she smiled tremulously, it was clear he'd been waiting for someone blonder. Back at the island, all the Ali stuff was glossed over and Jason told Sam about the thugs he'd whacked so easily. "That's my business, isn't it? That's the work I do that's complicated?" There was no easy way to say it. Okay, yes, there was. "You kill people," Sam admitted. Reese was still on the line as Sonny unsuccessfully tried to keep Carly calm. "Why did you leave me?" she asked, tearfully. As he approached her, the gun fired and Reese shrieked "Sonny!" into the phone...

Thursday, August 25, 2005
"Do I know you?" Jason asked Sam, and they both realized that Mr. Blank Slate couldn't remember a thing! At Reese's (formerly Sonny's and, before that, Sean's) penthouse, Alexis refused to sign the law firm contract because she'd changed her mind. Outside Kelly's, Michael and Sonny argued broccoli vs. French fries. After Max took the kids to the car, an erratic Carly popped up, begging Sonny for help. Elsewhere, the Wild Bunch's argument stopped cold as Liz passed out and Lucky carried her downstairs. Once at the hospital, they prepped Liz for an ultrasound. Jax wanted to go, too, because he was the baby's daddy. Liz just wanted Lucky, so Emily told the Bossy Aussie to chill out. At the Little Clinic That Could, Sam caught the doctor up on Jason's medical history while he eavesdropped. When Sam came back into his room, they played catch-up — going over the photos of Michael and Morgan in his wallet, his home address, the Jason Quartermaine Saga, the Sonny Saga, and why Jason and Sam got together. "Now, it's my turn to help you," said Sam. Back at the penthouse, Alexis told Ric and Reese that family was her priority and as Ric went off to grab celebratory drinks, the phone rang. When it wasn't the Dimpled Don, Reese blew the caller off. Alexis called Reese on her obvious Sonny Vigil. "There is no winning with Sonny," she warned. Sonny could literally drive Reese insane. Speaking of crazy...Sonny was boggled by Carly's insistence that he talk to Michael to make sure the kidlet wasn't mad at her. After he promised to help, she wandered off again (it's 3 PM, do YOU know where your Carly is?).

At GH, Emily came out to non-update everyone on Liz's condition — which just led to more finger pointing and snarking between Jax, Courtney and Nikolas (not that they need an excuse). At Castle Greyskull, Sonny tried to explain Carly's wacky antics to Michael and it led into a talk about the Big Kristina Secret and forgiveness. "Why do I have to forgive and you don't?" wondered Michael. "Good question," observed Alexis, with Kristina's pre-school papers in hand. Sam deftly glossed over Sonny and Jason's "business" and tried to keep the subject on Jason's family but Jason insisted on leaving. He instinctively slammed Sam against the wall and then beat up a couple of orderlies. The doctor sedated him as he growled like a dog. Alexis informed Sonny that she'd taken a sabbatical and signed up for yoga and suggested he try it. She'd pay money to see that. (So would we!) And they both might try something even riskier: forgiveness. "Watch me!" she challenged lightly, walking out. Monica advised Lucky to keep Liz calm as Emily promised she'd butt into Liz's personal life some day so they could call it even. Back in the lounge, Nik railed at Jax for paying too much attention to Liz's uterus and Courtney chirped the requisite WDST. Emily walked up with a solution: "Give up the child Elizabeth is carrying." To which Jax said, "Huh?" That might fix some problems but not Emily's marriage. "I was living in a fool's paradise and I don't care to revisit," he said, stalking off. Nik was left wondering what the heck had happened. (Well, we know YDST...) At their separate abodes, Sonny and Reese brooded, drank, read, and watched the same fake black-and-white movie as they contemplated the "f-word." (Forgiveness, of course.)

Mr. Blank Slate came to...still blank. Jason wondered why his violence hadn't scared Sam. It was because she trusted him. She begged him to stay put while she went to make some arrangements. The minute she stepped out, Allegra and her goons grabbed her. "Well, my dear, we meet again." (Does anyone else miss Helena?) Back at GH, the Four Musketeers had an uncomfortable moment. At Liz's urging, Em admitted she couldn't stop loving Nikolas. Dr. Meadows told a relieved Liz and Lucky that Liz was just dehydrated. Yay! Helena-Lite told Sam that Ali had vanished so she needed Sam's mad mimicking skillz again. Goon Number One carried Sam off as Two and Three went into Jason's room. Back in Port Chuckles, Ric got shifty when an exuberant Alexis thanked goodness she hadn't chased him into Reese's arms after all. A drenched Sonny arrived at the penthouse. All the forgiveness lectures had inspired him to run five blocks after his car broke down. "Not being able to forgive is one of the things I hate about myself," he admitted to a wary Reese. "I'm starting to realize that change could be a good thing." As Reese kept her distance, he walked up and kissed her. Allegra's thugs came in to shoot Jason, so he kicked their butts like Antonio Banderas in Desperado, grabbing their weapons and pulling that really cool two gun cross-over move. Afterward, he looked totally baffled. Nikolas and Emily's dialogue was nearly drowned out by the rain, but Nik wished Em would believe the WDST. "I do believe you," she told him. Well, then he'd wait for her until she was ready to come home. And an unhappy Courtney watched them from afar. Back at GH, Jax interrupted Liz and Lucky's adorable snuggling and said he'd changed his mind about a few things. Reunited, Sonny lowered Reese to the glass dining table (is that Windex's streak-free shine?) and then they got frisky by the fire.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Emily and Michael met up outside the Greyskull gate and her new living arrangement led to the tricky subject of divorce. At the Elm Street Pier, Nik and Courtney's hot smooch was interrupted by Lucky snarking, "I'm sure glad you two aren't having an affair." "We Didn't Sleep Together!" whined Courtney as Lovely Lucky blasted Nefarious Nik for claiming mere hours before that he'd wanted to fix his marriage. Meanwhile, the Bossy Aussie invited Liz over and claimed he had a better offer than Lucky's marriage proposal. Say, what? On the Overwrought Yacht, Sam woke a deep-sleeping Jason, who'd been drowsing all day (fully dressed and with his shoes on, of course). At the Pizza Shack, Jesse interrupted Dillon, Maxie, and Georgie's banter and blasted them for putting Maxie's life in danger with The Freak somewhere out there. On one heck of a roll, Lucky observed, "You don't even need a bed when you've got a pier." As Nikolas told him to relax, Lucky got riled about best friend Emily and true love Liz and what all this "not sleeping together" was doing to them. And there was one more person at stake: the baby. A tearful Courtney actually agreed and strode off. At the Jacks' homestead, Jax offered the "incentive" of paying for Cameron's education if Liz kept from marrying Lucky and cementing their custody claim. Uh, no thanks. Elizabeth whipped out "They Didn't Sleep Together" and warned Jax that he and Courtney needed to work things out or she'd fight for the baby. A hidden Justus had heard everything...but he, too, advised that Jax and Courtney make amends.

Jason got defensive with Sam but the dizziness continued and his nose bled. Ew! He admitted that it could be a side effect of the memory drug and he was having headaches, white flashes, and black-outs. "No hospitals!" he insisted in the face of Sam's worry. Courtney interrupted Justus and Jax's powwow and Justus reluctantly served her with divorce papers — which she refused to sign. Back at their apartment, Lucky and Liz boggled over the Nik/Courtney kiss and Jax's baby fixation. "This is so complicated!" Liz moaned. No kidding! Meanwhile, Nikolas and Em met at the pier (where he'd been kissing Courtney. Classy! Not.). "I love you," he said, tacking on...WDST! Emily handed back her engagement ring and wedding band and walked off. At the Pizza Shack, Jesse and Maxie's hostility turned into googly eyes and he mentioned that lead paint found on the victim's clothes tied The Freak to PCU. Elizabeth and Lucky made calls to Nik and Em, asking them to come over — for, you guessed it...an intervention. "Two down, two to go." A BIG intervention. Uh-oh. Especially since Jax and Courtney were fighting and she WDST'd at least twice! "I'm all out of faith and trust," Jax told her. Courtney told him he'd poison his child's life if he fought Liz for custody and stormed out. Justus re-emerged from the back burner...er, back room and wondered if Jax was going to trash his happiness for his pride. Back on the Love Boat, Jason kept assuring Sam he was fine but crumpled on the deck the minute her back was turned.

Dillon and Georgie bantered on the docks and The Freak called, breathing heavily. "This is Maxie's phone," Georgie realized. And Dillon noted the sound of a bell in the background. Naturally, at the Shack, Jesse made note of the PCU bell tower (Sanctuary, sanctuary!) and revealed he'd be going undercover in Maxie's dorm and in her classes. The two started dancing despite the Imminent Danger that had drawn him there. Everybody arrived at Liz and Lucky's for the Big Intervention. "Nobody's leaving until we fix our broken lives," said Lucky as the proverbial you-know-what hit the fan. Sam insisted on taking Jason to a hospital up the coast. She wasn't going to watch him die! Maxie and Jesse kept dancing. Mr. 21 Jump Street was worried about passing as a student. Thank goodness Dillon and Georgie ran in and mentioned the naughty call and the bell. Gasp! The PCU Bell Tower! (Sanctuary!) The Freak had a hide-out on campus! (A sanctuary!) The Wild Bunch continued to argue and Cameron miraculously slept through it. Lucky and Elizabeth even admitted their own mistakes about the surrogacy and his medical bills, but all Nikolas could do was cry WDST. "Can we find a way to stop hurting each other?" Liz wondered. At the hospital on shore, a doctor urged Sam to talk to Jason and keep him from sinking into a coma. "Please don't leave me," murmured Sam at his bedside. As Lucky and Liz kept trying to talk sense to the Quarrelsome Quad, Jax pushed one of Lucky's buttons — so Lucky pushed him into the wall. The stress began to get to Elizabeth, who doubled over in pain. "Lucky, something's wrong." Sam continued to talk to Jason, telling him, "I want to be with you forever, so don't quit on me." He finally opened his eyes and looked at her, asking..."Who are you?"

Tuesday, August 23, 2005
The Dimpled Don came down the stairs at La Casa Corinthos as Reese stormed in, telling him he couldn't run her out of town. At the gate, Max informed Courtney that she was on the "no fly" list but Emily came out and said she could stick around to plead her case. Outside Kelly's, there wasn't so much pleading as there was Nikolas saying "Jax" and Jax replying by knocking him into the wall. Ouch! Back at Sonny's, Reese blasted Sonny for pressuring Ric to dissolve their partnership and for wussing out on their relationship. Meanwhile, on the Elm Street Pier, Skye and Lorenzo were making nice when Carly steamrolled in, accusing Lo of scoring with "the skankiest piece of trash money can buy." Slightly more rational was Alexis, who reached out to Ric by using Jax's marital troubles as a metaphor for theirs. "Sometimes I actually follow my own advice," she admitted, sheepishly. Back at Kelly's, Nikolas whipped out the We Didn't Sleep Together excuse (do NOT play a drinking game) and told Jax that Courtney loved him. Across town, it was Courtney's turn to whip out the We Didn't Sleep Together (or 'WDST,' for short). Emily lashed out, "What happened in that hotel room is not faithful. That's the opposite of faithful." (And, trust us, she would know — she cheated on Zander with Nikolas.) Emily went on to mock "poor" Courtney's problems and wondered, "How's it feel, Courtney, being held up as a homewrecker?" Similar hypocrisy went on between Jax and Nikolas. Fed up, Jax growled, "You know what, Cassadine, I don't really care what you think."

At the hospital, Alexis and her big rambly Jax metaphor boiled down to one thing: Ric making her happier than any man ever had. Aww! "Yet you feel the need to test me every day, " Ric marveled, adding that they needed to focus on the part where they made each other happy. On the docks, Lorenzo defended Skye to Carly, who wound up stalking off as her ex feigned nonchalance. "Nice try but I can tell your heart is breaking," said Skye. Reese accused Sonny of being a coward and the two fought about his lack of trust. Ric interrupted and Reese stormed off. Back at Kelly's, Nik moaned about the WDST not working and Lucky admirably didn't slap him upside the head, instead reminding him that this affair could cost him, Elizabeth, and the baby, too. At the Jacks' penthouse, Courtney mooned over wedding photos and told her grouchy hubby, "You accused me of never loving you but that's not true, Jax. I did. I still do." Back on the docks, Skye put Lorenzo and his inner child under the microscope, telling him he still loved Carly...who moved her paranoia to GH, where Alexis was handling some pre-school papers for Kristina. As she accused Alexis of using the papers to get to Sonny, Alexis observed Carly was obsessing more than usual. "He's all ready the center of his own universe. Don't make him the center of yours," she advised.

Back at Greyskull, the center in question and Ric were going 10 rounds about forgiveness. "I can't get over somebody who betrays me." "Well, then how did you forgive me?" "I didn't!" Ric blasted Sonny over that admission and Emily burst in, defending Sonny. As Ric apologized for Emily's pain and issues with Nikolas, it was clear he really meant "please don't tell Sonny I slept with Reese." He left Sonny and Emily to commiserate over how everybody had done them wrong. Sonny sighed to Emily, "Ric's dead on about me but he doesn't have to be right about you." At Kelly's, Nik's pity party about Emily continued as he confided in Lucky, "I can't figure out where the rape ends and where the rest of her life begins." (But he sure can figure out the exact location of Courtney's lips.) Jax was fresh out of pity. "I won't be your consolation prize," he told Courtney, who kept insisting she'd made a mistake. (WDST!) She told him to take a long look at their wedding snappies and left. Lorenzo revealed he was skipping town for a bit to get some clarity on the Carly situation (probably some drugs and duct tape, too). At Castle Greyskull, Dr. Kill warned Emily that ending up like him, trapped in pain, sucked. "'Cause all you do is end up alone in it." On the docks, Courtney and Nik turned their mad blame skillz on each other. Sonny approached Reese at Kelly's, apologizing for his Issues. "It's just who I am." But couldn't he try? He walked away without saying a word. Meanwhile, Hurricane Carly blew into Greystone and freaked out Michael. Aw! As Carly wandered back out, Mikey looked terribly worried. Jax gazed down at his wedding photos and Emily began to take off her wedding ring as Nikolas and Courtney kept pointing fingers on the Elm Street Pier. "Why didn't you just leave me alone?" Courtney demanded. "Why meeeee?" she wondered, channeling her inner Nancy Kerrigan. As their argument turned physical, the tears and anger turned into a passionate kiss.

Monday, August 22, 2005
At Castle Greyskull, Emily turned down Sonny's "cement shoe" brand of help. Nikolas and Courtney flew home to PC, figuring if they just explained their Big Oops to their spouses, they'd be okay (boy, are they delusional!). A horrified Liz assured Jax that "If Courtney's out of the picture than our agreement no longer applies!" and Lucky told the Bossy Aussie to quit stressing Liz out. Sonny played Dr. Kill...er, Phil for Emily about forgiveness and betrayal — and joked, "Do as I say, not as I do." The Delusional Duo had a flight of fantasy as they imagined Em and Jax forgiving them once they got home. Affronted, Jax wondered why he couldn't be a single parent like Liz (maybe because you're acting nuts?) and stormed off in a huff. At the hospital, Em told her parents she wasn't moving back to Avenue Q. Nikolas arrived at Chez Corinthos, where Sonny told him the guest house would be Em's new digs. A safe haven from "two-timing bastards." (Sonny...do you see this pot and kettle? Note the color.) Finally home, Courtney went to see...Liz and Lucky, blaming Liz's loose lips for sinking her ship. As Liz pointed out Jax's new fixation on single parenting, Courtney got defensive about how she and Nik weren't having an affair and Liz had told "everybody." (Even the cashier at Wyndham's?) Nikolas and Sonny snarked about who was a bigger hypocrite and Sonny asked the TMI question of, "How did you get in my sister's pants?" (Seriously. They're a size 2.) "Unlike you, I have the discipline to keep my fly zipped," Nik shot back, referencing Sonny's disposable parade of women. "I'm not going to give up on my wife or my marriage," he assured as Emily walked in.

In light of all the drama, Liz wasn't so sure that Courtney and Jax were going to be so good for the baby she was carrying. And she was right since Jax showed up at GH and asked Alexis to facilitate his divorce. His most amicable ex-wife told him to take a deep breath and cool his jets. If he asked again in six months, she'd do it for him. Dr. Kill exited so Nik and Emily could chat. Jax arrived home for a chat of his own with Courtney where he got WAY harsh after her "we didn't sleep together" explanation. "It's all so provocative isn't it, having to resist temptation?" Jax icily wondered. "Maybe you didn't get naked...but you still cheated on me." Ouch! Meanwhile, Alcazar and a flunky discussed his renewed business as Sonny strolled down the Elm Street Pier. Third grade sniping about their mutual mistreatment of Carly ensued. Back at the house, Nik explained that he still loved Emily even though he'd been surgically attached to Courtney's face for weeks. He wasn't going back to Wyndemere without her. Uh, no thanks. Jax wasn't buying Courtney's sales pitch either. "We're done. I want out," he told her. Meanwhile, Lucky hoped that Cameron was beginning to think of him as a father, telling Liz that he'd love to be the new baby's daddy, too. "Marry me," he suggested. And Liz lit up. It would make Lucky the baby's legal father and give Jax one biiiiig problem...

Back on Captive Island, Jason went off to find Sam as Ali and Allegra traded boring barbs. Sam wasn't quite up for the "delicious" anticipation of a wedding night with Andrew — especially when he bent her back and kissed on her like Gomez Addams. "Okay, here's the truth. My name is not Alicia. It's Sam," she said, pushing him away. "Admit defeat," Ali urged Allegra, toying with the key as Thuggo #1 arrived with a gun to help his mistress. Andrew scoffed at Sam's outrageous story. Sam pointed out her two left feet. "I'm a klutz." And she loved a guy who was, "a worse dancer than I am." Andrew agreed to help Sam rescue her lover but he'd envy the guy till the day he died. They left just as Jason arrived and collapsed on the floor of the room very slowly and lamely. Sam and Andrew arrived back at Helena Lite's allergy palace, telling her to drop the act. Meanwhile, Allegra's Thug Parade grabbed Jason off the honeymoon suite floor but he got in some punches and fled. After hearing the whole tale, Andrew was still willing to marry the real Ali and Allegra's goon squad grabbed Sam and tossed her in the wine cellar. Some good Sam-aritan (Sam-aritan! Get it?) slid a key under the door and she got out, rushing upstairs to find a Very Dead Andrew and a Very Groggy Jason (I guess that's the end of Andrew's envy). Uh-oh. Allegra, happy that her daughter was a rich widow, shooed Jason and Sam off the island with the threat of Jason being accused of Andrew's murder. But her problems weren't over: the rich widow had flown the coop. Finally back on the yacht, Sam wanted to know what was wrong with Jason and he turned to her, blank-eyed...