Friday, May 19, 2006
On the islands, Luke had plans for Tracy and Robert and his "lovely," Holly, had equally nefarious plans for the jewels. At Kelly's, Nikolas put "the brakes" on whatever Maxie was planning. At GH, Jason got violent with an orderly looming over Sam. Meanwhile, Sonny was still two fries short of a Happy Meal, knocking the table over as gun totin' Max burst out. "I'm sorry," Sonny whispered to Emily. Luke snapped a pic of his "Spankybuns" cheating on him. Horrified Robert and Tracy sprang apart and screamed like girls. Nikolas called Maxie a "great kid," which made her crumple up the lab reports and wonder if he was still hung up on Emily. Em herself boggled at Sonny but forgave him as he laughed, "It's pasta, right? It's not the end of the world." (We'd hate to see what Sonny does over gelato.) And, okay, it was one of Escobar's flunkies sending a message in Sam's room. So, Jason sent a reply and then apologized to an unconscious Sam. Naturally, Mama Bear Alexis arrived, none too happy. "It's our anniversary!" Tracy reminded Luke, not appreciating his recreation of their Coleman honeymoon. "If she's your scrumptious wife, then why aren't you in bed with her?" Robert wondered. While they argued, Holly vanished. Luke's "lovely", predictably, was suddenly a "ruthless bitch." Nikolas apologized for leading Maxie on and she blasted him for the Emily-Courtney debacle. "Maybe you're getting exactly what you deserve," she huffed.

"There's something really wrong with him," Max told Milo about Sonny, who escorted Emily to GH. There, Noah gave a non-update on Sam's condition and Alexis told Jason that Sam would "survive if you just let her go." Well, would she walk away from Ric if someone asked her to? "My God, you're a hypocrite!" cried Alexis, pointing out he'd asked exactly that of Sonny and Emily. Maxie contemplated the lab report and called someone to talk. At GH, Emily pulled Lainey aside and explained Sonny's "mood thing," beginning with their Spain trip. (It sure sounds like manic depression.) Nearby, Sonny checked on Jason and Sam. At Jax's, Carly brought over mozzarella sticks and planned to make sangria with his Merlot. (Yum!) Their ardor was dampened by misplaced baby toys and paternity secret guilt. Maxie fantasized about telling Nikolas the truth and smooching him. But it was Robin who showed up (That's a fast flight!). Lainey did indeed hit on bipolar disorder as a possibility and suggested getting Sonny in for an eval. Sonny, meanwhile, gave Jason advice about Da Bizness because "it keeps the jackals off Emily and me." Then, Sonny went on to agree with Alexis' point of view, saying Sam is a target (and what were Carly and kids?).

Luke and Robert returned empty-handed from searching for Holly. But Plan B was already in motion, Luke assured. On Holly's getaway plane, she hollered for the pilot — and got Anna! Carly told Jax they were "heroes" for keeping John away from the kooky Cassadines. Jax kissed her appreciatively as someone knocked on the door. Betcha it's Nik. Yep! Back at GH, Jason listened to the rest of Sonny's lecture with a sad face. Fortunately, Noah ran in to check Sam's wonky monitors; She was waking up! We cut back and forth between Kelly's and the penthouse as Nikolas visited with John and Maxie handed the crucial paper to her cousin. (It's official, Robin is the Patron Saint of Paternity Secrets.) As Maxie spilled the beans, Jax told Nik this was the last time he'd be seeing the baby. Anna admitted she'd read Luke and Robert like a children's book and guessed Holly would end up with the jewels. "We'd make a good team," Holly mused. "Except for the fact that we hate each other," Anna pointed out, snagging the jewels and parachuting out. "Geronimo!" Back at the villa, Luke revealed he'd swapped the bling with Tracy's traveling jewelry. Of course, he, Tracy and Robert couldn't enjoy their spoils: The bounty hunters returned and claimed the loot! Back at Greystone, Sonny presented Emily with brand new pasta and a kiss...and found her pamphlets on bipolar disorder. At GH, Alexis asked if a groggy Sam knew her. "Alexis. My mother," Sam smiled, before fixating on Jason. "You are my whole world," he told her, kissing her hand.

Thursday, May 18, 2006
"Spanky?" Luke gasped as Tracy's shirtless bearers set her down. Wasting no time, Tracy sailed into the villa, greeting a tied-up Anna and saying of the Scorpio family reunion, "I would've brought a casserole!" (Somebody at GH loves casserole.) Back home, Carly wondered why enemies Maxie and Diego were chillin' at Kelly's while Monica admitted she thought Sam was in danger with Jason. Across town, Sonny was aflutter with plans for Emily until Milo told him someone else bought the bling he'd wanted. Sonny went ballistic! Sheepish Luke untied everyone and explained himself as Robert marveled at "Ma and Pa Kettle together again." Luke, Holly and Robert realized that it was Tracy who had put up the bounty on them. Diego and Maxie covered and called Jax again. "Taking me on will be the last mistake you ever make," Jax warned. Monica urged Jason to wait for Sam to awaken and contact him. Things got stranger at Greystone when a bruised Mike arrived looking for cash. All Sonny said was, "How much you need?" Inside Kelly's, Carly had a powwow with Dr. Meadows over the paternity test results. Jax told his blackmailer that he'd rather go the cops "than pay you a dime!" Alexis heard him hollering from the hall! Jason asked Stan (Sans dreadlocks! Sob!) to find Sam and then Bernie brought Bizness to his attention.

Back in the tropics, Lulu's "stepmonster" told the gang she'd fixed their problems with money — even Holly, who was "nothing but a cheap tart." (Anna joined Tracy's fan club for that.) As for Luke, Tracy was torn between getting even or getting "conjugal." Luke tried to postpone the latter as Lulu, Dillon, Robin and Anna headed for the airport. Robert and Robin shared a warm goodbye hug and Luke groped Anna, snaking something from her pocket. "Sonny, are you okay?" Mike asked, boggling at Sonny's new 'tude. At GH, Epiphany caught Stan poking around the nurses' station. Alexis opened up to Jax about the Sam situation as Carly came to Jason's looking for a little "muscle." Diego told Maxie she was crazy for trying to blackmail Jax and left. Maxie immediately called Nikolas, asking to "meet up." Alexis confided, "I wanna have a future with her, but I can't do that if Jason gets her killed." And it wasn't about Jason's love for her, "He's a hitman, for God's sake." Jax understood a parent protecting their child. Needing a distraction, Jason asked Carly to explain her desire for intimidation tactics. Epiphany read Stan's "criminal backside" the riot act for his hacking. At Greystone, Sonny and Mike were still in the Twilight Zone: "I've been punishing you too long! It has to stop!" Emily arrived at the tail end, finding Sonny beaming and grinning. Luke put Anna's famous knockout drops in Tracy's wine as Tracy and Holly snarked.

Jason cut Carly's big explanation down to the simplest level: It's blackmail. "The whole thing blows up," Jason warned, wearily, not wanting her to get hurt. Robert returned and found Luke crabby because Holly wanted Robert while the "Royal Sparky" waited for him. The knockout drops came out again as Luke and Robert toasted and drank. "Sam is at the New Hope clinic," Stan whispered to Jason on the phone before his mama caught him again (Silly Stan!). Jason rushed out but found Alexis at the door, saying she'd moved Sam back to GH, but she wanted one thing: for him to give Sam up. At the airport, tearful Anna said she wasn't coming with Robin. She had one more thing to do. Mother and daughter hugged and traded damp "I miss you"s before Robin boarded. Amorous and stoned, Robert fell into bed with Tracy while victorious Luke romanced Holly. Back in PC, Jax and Carly felt better about the blackmail situation, kissing and calling John "ours." Elsewhere, a dressed to kill Maxie ushered Nikolas in for dinner at Kelly's. The menu? A lab report. (Mmm, tasty!) On the Greystone terrace, Sonny criticized his own cooking and knocked his dishes to the flagstones. Emily (and the recapper) looked at him like he done lost his mind....

Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Morning hit the Maarkam Islands with Holly realizing she'd been robbed of her bling! "One of you is a thief!" she gasped. Jax brought little John home and opened his (black)mail from Maxie. At Kelly's, Carly demanded payback for the Panic Room from Ric in the form of Sam's location. Alexis checked on Sam via phone and then ragin' Jason burst into her office. Holly zeroed in on Lulu and Dillon. Anna stepped in, telling her to let a professional take over. At GH, Lucky came out of the elevator in time to see Patrick and Liz looking adulterous again. Back at GH, Nik assured Emily he didn't know where Alexis had stashed Sam and Maxie popped up to beam at her new crush. (Emily noted this. Clueless Nikolas did not.) Ric and Carly tangled over the Jason vs. Alexis issue while cops arrived to assist Alexis. They could discuss this calmly or Jason could go to jail. Amazingly, Jason sat! (Good Jason. Have a biscuit!) Epiphany laughed that Patrick could be sued for groping nurses in public. He and Liz chuckled. Grouchy Lucky did not. Anna played Poirot about Dillon nicking the jewels — complete with a recreated scenario. Nikolas and Emily ruefully compared Maxie's crush to Emily's thing for older men. Jax called Carly, cutting short a passionate appeal to Ric on Sam's (really Jason's) behalf. Meanwhile, Alexis asserted that she'd use the law to bury Jason if Sam didn't get better.

Robert and Anna got snarky as Robert took himself off the suspect list. Then, Anna turned her focus on Luke. Back at GH, Lucky was jonesing for a fix as Patrick dragged him in for an exam. Jason pointed out that Sam had chosen to be with him. "I want you to look me in the eye and I want you to tell me that Sam is safe with you," Alexis urged. Notoriously honest Jason turned his back and walked out. Carly rushed over to Jax's and he showed her the paternity test. Carly told him to chill and wait for the blackmailer to contact him. Jax would go one better: He'd tell Nikolas the truth. "Me a crook?" Luke gasped. Anna wasn't havin' any of the Spencer charm, though. Cue another theft scenario, Luke huffing, and Holly patting him down. "Keyser Soze!" Dillon cried, accusing Holly of stealing her own stuff ´ la The Usual Suspects. "Right movie, Dillon. Wrong suspect," Robin interrupted. "Where are the jewels, Mom?" "Don't forget my refill," Lucky reminded Patrick, laughing off the reminder that hydrocodone is addictive. Maxie had contacted Coleman but it was his flunky Diego who arrived with a voice distorter. Carly, meanwhile, tried to get Jax to hold his horses. Emily (and casserole) greeted Jason at the penthouse. He wasn't havin' it, though — especially when Em compared herself and Sonny to him and Sam.

Robin's scenario was up next, involving Anna's use of knockout drops and her reputation as a fence. "That is a beautiful piece of detective work!" Robert praised. "You're too clever by half, darling," Anna grumbled as Robin searched her bags and held the jewels aloft. Of course, Holly appeared with the machine gun and ropes. Naturally, Luke offered to be her partner-in-crime. In their street clothes, Liz and Patrick kept sounding shady as they stepped on the elevator. Suspicious Lucky called Rodriguez. "What is more dangerous than a bullet?" Emily demanded. If Jason wouldn't ask Sam to leave him for his own safety, how could he ask her to leave Sonny? Jason thanked her for the food (and the recapper snickered). "Trust no one," Luke advised Lulu as he finished tying her up. The gang spat threats as Luke and Holly left with the jewels. "Step away from my husband!" Who could that be? It was Tracy, arriving on a litter carried by nubile shirtless men. Rodriguez informed Lucky that Patrick and Liz had gone into a hotel together. Sad Lucky popped a pill. The ever-so genius Diego and Maxie called Jax from outside Kelly's. Naturally, Carly walked up on them. Back at GH, Nikolas caught Emily crying about Jason. She repaid his concern with snarkiness about dumping Sonny and returning to him. Ric found Alexis at the Super Secret Clinic and told her she wasn't being fair to Sam. Meanwhile, Monica told Jason she'd found Sam but couldn't tell him where. Gee, thanks, Mom!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Carly pulled a Sally Field as Jane mentioned planning a Fauxstralian wedding: "You really like me!" But Jax squashed the new gal pals' nuptial glee. In the islands, Anna apologized to Robin for her and Robert being bad parents. Robert disagreed, calling Robin's HIV "a pothole in the highway of life." He was proud of how tough she is — she even has a "new doctor boyfriend!" In Port Charles. Emily and Ric looked at Sonny like he needed a straitjacket for suggesting a Vegas vacation. At the PCPD, Alexis dropped the charges against Jason, Liz, Epiphany and Patrick. Speaking of the doc: "Patrick Drake is not my boyfriend!" Robin huffed. Anna and Robert ignored her, giddy over their daughter's new romance. Outside the villa, Lu wondered, poignantly, if her mother would like her. "You're a miracle of genetics," Luke told her, saying Laura would be proud of her. But he reminded her that "the now" is all they have. Inside the villa, Dillon was wowed by Holly's cleavage...er, tutelage. Back at GH, Maxie lorded over baby John's paternity test results and shared her plans for blackmail with Lucas. Amidst more drunken tomfoolery, Jax pulled off Jane's engagement ring and got down on one knee before Carly. "Let's let bygones be bygones!" cheered Sonny, but Ric nixed Vegas plans, telling Sonny about the surgery snafu while Alexis blasted those involved in it.

Robin reluctantly described Patrick to Anna. "You made our daughter fall in love with you!" Anna growled, socking Robert in the stomach. Outside, the Spencer reunion was going equally well. Lurching about, Carly said she liked marriage — and Jax — but it wasn't the right time. Jane gave Carly's sensibility props and they toasted. Bottoms up! Lucky got snarky with Liz, who followed Patrick back to work. In the interrogation room, Alexis told Jason she'd put this behind them as long as she was responsible for Sam's care from now on. "I knew that you would pull something like this!" Ric assured Sonny and Emily that he'd get Alexis to drop the charges (too late!). Sonny followed him to bail out Jason (also too late!). Anna drew parallels between Robert and Patrick. Well, what was wrong with loving him, Robert wondered. Lulu assured Luke she wasn't holding out hope for father-daughter sack races and Dillon fled from Holly's wiles. Holly was glad for Luke's "more adult" company. Jason lashed out at Alexis for taking over Sam's life and Alexis asked Mac to stall Jason's exit from the PCPD. Mac did exactly that, using the classic, "Because I SAY SO!" excuse. Robert named off his exceptional qualities, insulting "that toilet flush, Lavery" to boot. Anna called him a "spiteful toad." "Did you two ever love each other like normal people?" Robin asked. "More than you'll ever know," Robert assured.

Georgie came to the PCPD to plead Maxie's case to Mac while Sonny and Jason shared A Moment in interrogation. "We experienced a once in a lifetime love," Anna admitted, saying the greatest thing she and Robert had done together was create Robin. Robert couldn't disagree with Anna there and said he'd loved Anna beyond reason. Uncomfortable with all the "soul-baring," he fled. Back at GH, Lucas was shocked to realize Maxie wanted to blackmail Jax. At the station, Sonny thanked Jason for giving him his freedom. Of course, Jason was the one holding Da Bizness bag now and that sort of sucked for Sam. "It's just the coin toss that we pulled," Anna said of her and Robert's situation. She asked Robin to give Robert a chance and assured her that she and Patrick weren't doomed to repeat her parents' mistakes. Nearby, Lulu apologized for dragging Dillon away from Georgie because of her "lame idea." Holly and Luke praised the merits of companionship over love and necked on the couch — as Robert walked up. Sonny came home and scared Max by joking about sideswiping the Maserati. "He never jokes! Something bad is going down!" Max told Milo. No, but something was getting down: Sonny and Emily shared a dance near the terrace. At GH, Patrick and Liz were sounding vaguely adulterous as Jason found Sam's room empty! Oh, no! Alexis had Sam moved to a Super Secret Location! In transit, Alexis told Sam she was devoted to getting her the best possible care.

Monday, May 15, 2006
Ain't that a kick in the head? And the ribs. And a few other places. Anna and Robert's reunion on the Maarkam Islands was definitely less than friendly. Meanwhile, in Fauxstralia, Lady Jane passed out cold after Carly told her off. Back in PC, Sonny got frisky with Emily in the backseat of his shiny Maserati. "Who are you and what have you done with Sonny?" she asked, tactfully avoiding phrases like "mid-life crisis." At GH, Patrick operated on Sam as Alexis lashed out at Jason. Robin shot off a machine gun to stop her parents rasslin': "Enough!" Also having enough, Carly roused Jane with a bucket full of cold water. Sonny wrote off his wacky behavior as feeling footloose without Da Bizness. Alexis blamed Jason for Sam's condition and then Patrick came out and told them that Sam had survived surgery (but odds are Alexis still won't forgive Jason). Anna lumped Luke in as a deadbeat along with Robert and Holly noted that Anna is still the same "abrasive, ice-cold bitch" she always was. Back at Lover's Lane, Emily gave in and dragged Sonny back into the backseat.

At GH, Noah interrupted Liz and Patrick's mutual OR Admiration Society to rail at his "genius son," and then Rodriguez arrested Patrick and Liz for violating Alexis' injunction. D'oh! Nearby, Mac arrested Jason and Epiphany. Double d'oh! Luke stepped between Anna and Holly, who kept snarking at one another. Anna was determined to hand Robert, Holly and Luke over for the bounty but machine gun totin' Lulu wasn't havin' it. Back in Fauxstralia, Jane dried off and she and Carly went another 10 rounds about Jax. Emily and Sonny got caught by a cop...who was more interested in the car than the lovers buttoning themselves up. (Too. Much. Information.) Alexis explained her actions to Ric and Noah confirmed that the surgery had been successful. At the PCPD, Liz jumped to Jason's defense. forcing Patrick to the same. Stan showed up to spring Epiphany, smug about his mom breaking the law. "Mama's spending the night in jail," she snapped, turning him down. Noah gave Ric and Alexis a hopeful prognosis but all Alexis wanted was someone without agendas to treat Sam. Carly assured Jane that Jax sees her clearly. "Jax genuinely likes me just the way I am."

The Maarkam mavericks talked Lulu down and she gingerly handed the gun to Robin. "It's time for some family togetherness," Robin told her sparring parents. Could she have a few minutes of their undivided attention? "My son is a hopeless romantic!" bemoaned Jane, bringing up Brenda and Sonny. Carly denied this was a redux of that old story: "I vote we get along for Jax's sake." Jane had one more test for her first. Giggling Sonny and Emily came home and gave Max the keys to the Maserati. He fantasized about taking Carly for a riiiiide and realized Sonny was acting a little odd. High flyin' Lucky hobbled into the PCPD but Liz refused to leave until everyone was released. Holly poured some of the local Shiraz for herself and Dillon and offered to teach him a "thing or two about women." (Ick!) Outside, Lulu marveled at Luke's typical adventure. Luke touted the "surprise factor" of Anna dropping out of the sky but didn't envy Robert the "domestic drama." Elsewhere in the villa, the family Scorpio caught up. "Aren't you just a little bit sorry?" Robin asked her folks. Jax found Jane and Carly three sheets to the wind on the family moonshine and Jane mentioning weddings. Ack! Ric found an equally giddy Sonny and Emily — with Sonny wanting to take Em and his brother to Vegas! Lucky confronted Patrick about "sniffing around" Elizabeth while Jason mused that his problems with Alexis were just starting. Back at GH, Noah told Alexis there could be complications with Sam (no kidding!)

2005 recaps