Theresa watched as Gwen and Ethan began to have sex. Gwen shrieked in horror as she spied Theresa hiding behind the curtain. She admitted to Ethan that she saw Theresa, but he didn't see her, even when he checked behind the curtain. Rebecca popped in, uninvited, and Gwen told her what was going on. Rebecca was not happy. Ethan called for Theresa to come out of hiding, but she wouldn't. Rebecca stopped him, pointing out how upset he was making Gwen. "Theresa is dead. Let her rest in pieces," Becks snarked.... Theresa hid under a desk and wondered how she'd escape without being seen. Later, Gwen concluded that Theresa was a ghost and was trying to haunt her. Then, as Theresa crawled out the window, Gwen thought she saw someone out on the ledge. Rebecca smacked Gwen when Gwen stated that Theresa was indeed alive. Ouch!.... Little Ethan and Ethan discussed how much they miss Theresa, while she watched them from outside.... Becks again instructed Gwen on the art of seduction. "You can cuff him to the bed or drip some candle wax on him and he'll be yours in no time!" From outside, Theresa's ears perked up as she overheard Rebecca suggest that Gwen hire a nanny.... Gwen planned to follow her mom's advice and make Ethan forget about Theresa.

Meanwhile, in another room in the Crane mansion, Ivy and Sam hit the sheets. After, they declared their love for one another. They then went downstairs to the kitchen, where an amorous Noah and Paloma stumbled into the room. Ivy and Sam were embarrassed to be caught by the kids. Ivy remedied the situation by grabbing the nearest bottle of wine. Sam then told Noah and Paloma that he wanted to discuss their upcoming wedding plans. He advised his son and Paloma to avoid making the same mistakes he'd made, and stated that love will get them through anything. Aww. Later, Ivy and Sam hoped the younger couple would follow their advice. Sam encouraged Ivy to believe in their love and life together. Ivy vowed not to plan any more schemes.

Tabitha read aloud a postcard from Norma and Edna, who were somewhere in Europe. She was interrupted by the Demon Elf, who got snippy when Tabby told him to get lost. "Is that how you always treat your guests?" he asked. "I consider an overgrown vermin a pest, not a guest," she replied. She then warned him not to mess with her or she'd cast a spell on him. Elfie reminded her that she wasn't supposed to be using witchcraft, but she didn't care. Elfie half-heartedly agreed to leave her and Endora alone. To prove her point, Tabby caused an earthquake in her home. The elf wasn't too shaken and planned to wreck Noah and Paloma's relationship, and had a mystery person following them. Later, Paloma and Noah took a walk by the docks, while someone watched them.

Everyone gathered at the church for Theresa's memorial service...even though she already had one at the Crane mansion. Gwen tried to comfort Ethan, but in private was annoyed with him for being sad about Theresa. Esme was relieved that she didn't have to look at a dead body during the service, but Ethan felt it wasn't complete without the body. After everyone left, Theresa entered the church, wishing she could tell Ethan she was alive.

Also at the Crane manse, Ivy and Rebecca toasted Theresa's demise. The moms plotted to help Ethan get over Theresa and fall in love with Gwen.... The Demon Elf stopped by the manse and swiped Rebecca's drink. After, Becks suggested to Ivy that they hire a nanny so Gwen and Ethan don't have to deal with the children. Theresa hid out in the manse and listened in.... Gwen again urged Ethan to put Theresa in the past. Later, Ivy and Rebecca shared their idea with Ethan, but he wasn't thrilled with it. Ivy promised him that the nanny would only help out, but he'd still be the one to raise their kids. Gwen was happy when Ethan promised to give a life with Gwen a chance. Later, they began interviewing nannies. The first was a Paris Hilton look-alike whom Rebecca threw out immediately because she was too good-looking. Becks explained that they needed to hire someone ugly. As Theresa listened in, her eyes lit up as she got an idea. Theresa eventually returned, donning a hideous disguise. Rebecca loved Ugly Nanny on the spot. Theresa was thrilled to be hired.

Noah walked Paloma to the docks. She wondered if they really had a future together, but he assured her that they did. She explained that she didn't want to live with him until they were married; they were frustrated about finding alone time. They then kissed. Elfie arrived at the scene, prepared to start trouble. Paloma's ex-boyfriend, Roberto, then showed up. Noah promptly punched him. Paloma begged Noah to stop; Noah then told Roberto that he and Paloma are engaged. Roberto congratulated them. Elfie was happy to see that Paloma still had feelings for Roberto. Later, the pair went to Paloma's house — and Roberto emerged from the shower.

At the Crane mansion, Esme assured Viki that things weren't always so bleak in Harmony. Esme suggested to Julian that they go someplace where they could have a little fun, which angered Viki. They went to the mausoleum, where they sipped champagne and kissed. Viki followed them, vowing to stop Julian.... Esme presented Julian with appropriate costumes for the setting: a skeleton suit and a mummy outfit. Esme insisted that he be the skeleton. "I wasn't very good at biology," she purred, "but you have one bone that interests me very much." (Yowza, hard to believe that made it past the censors.) Meanwhile, Viki clutched her knife and hid outside the monument. Later, they relaxed in the coffin together (ew!) and discussed Viki. Julian suggested they send the teen to boarding school, which horrified Viki. She continued to listen in as they got frisky and freaked out. While Julian and Esme were sleeping, Viki marched into the crypt and stabbed Julian.

At the Crane mansion, Gwen was thrilled when Ethan agreed to finally begin a new life with her. Gwen wanted them to renew their wedding vows, but he wasn't ready to do that. Pilar was aghast when she spied Gwen celebrating their "new life" and again blamed Gwen for Theresa's death. Pilar planned to tell Ethan that he's Little Ethan's father.

Unbeknownst to them, Theresa, disguised as a hideous woman named "Gertrude," landed the job as the Crane nanny. Theresa was offended when the ladies mocked "Gertrude's" name. She almost revealed herself when she slipped that she knew that children's names, but quickly covered. Ivy was suspicious when Theresa didn't have a resume, but Rebecca didn't care. Theresa explained that she's always gotten jobs by word of mouth and named the last family whom she worked for. Ivy and Rebecca then stated that they know who "Gertrude" really is.

In Eve's kitchen, a very pregnant Vincent scolded his mother for drinking so early in the day. He then complained about his back hurting him. "Is that normal?" he wondered. "Normal?" scoffed Eve. "My son is pregnant by Julian, who doesn't know that Valerie, the person he slept with, is really Vincent. When he finds out, it's going to be like he was kicked in the groin." Ouch! Eve wanted to tell Julian the truth, but Vincent wouldn't let her go.

Cut to the crypt, where Viki stabbed a sleeping Julian....uh, down there. Yowch! "Julian, you're so loud," muttered a clueless Esme, who was napping next to him. "Are we having sex? Is it good for you? Is it good for me?" Julian kept screaming in agony. "Stop screaming, you're gonna wake the dead," Esme warned him, then laughed at the fact that they were in a crypt. "Ha, ha, wake the dead." Once she realized that Julian had been stabbed, she screamed, too. She called Sam, who ordered an ambulance to rush Julian to the hospital. However, Julian passed out before he could name his attacker. Soon, Viki arrived, pretending to be scared. Esme blamed herself for Julian's predicament. Later, Eve got a call about Julian and was devastated by the news.... At the hospital, the doctor informed Esme that Julian was alive, but had been castrated. "Oh my God, you mean 'Little Julian' got whacked?" Esme moaned. Julian later awakened and shrieked when he realized what he was missing.... Vincent demanded that Eve fix Julian, but Eve knew she couldn't, as she was drunk and high. Still, Vincent insisted that she "do the right thing." Eve was impressed that he wanted her to help Julian out.... At the hospital, Sam assured Esme that Eve would get the job done. "She's done plenty of these procedures," he stated. "How often does this have to be done?" Esme marveled. "You'd be surprised," Sam replied. "Industrial accidents, explosions, nail guns... angry girlfriends." "I guess you guys think about this a lot," Esme said.... Viki planned to finish what she started and actually kill Julian. She went into his hospital room and got out her favorite knife, but was interrupted by Sam and ducked under the bed. Sam again questioned Julian about his attacker, but Julian couldn't name the person. Vincent planned for Julian to die.

PASSIONS takes a break on Thursdays and Fridays. Recaps will resume on Monday.

PASSIONS takes a break on Thursdays and Fridays. Recaps will resume on Monday.