ABC/CBS
Tell It Like It Is: GH’s Molly (Kristen Vagnos, l.), Y&R’s Victor (Eric Braeden) and B&B’s Taylor (Rebecca Budig) aren’t mincing words, and we’re here for it.
My favorite characters are the ones who do not suffer fools. And soaps have a lot of fools.
Imagine telling your no-nonsense boss (with whom you are not close) about your love life like Audra did on Y&R.
Audra: “Nate and I are involved.”
Victor: “Spare me.”
That’s the only logical response. Victor’s approach to his former (and future?) son-in-law Cole about dating Victoria was less so.
Victor: “I have seen my daughter fall in and out of love with a bunch of losers. We had a huge wedding in Italy with that schmuck! You’re next in line.”
Cole: “I won’t back down.”
Victor’s got PTSD from Ashland Locke which I respect. But, as Nikki pointed out, it’s not up to her and Victor to choose a partner for their middle-aged daughter. Victoria’s also trying to keep her dad from taking her other ex-husband Billy’s company from him because she’s worried about how that will affect their children. Victor doesn’t care about the “no good bastard” who fathered Vicky’s kids.
Nikki: “What was Billy thinking?”
Victor: “To think requires a brain. He doesn’t have one.”
Firing Lily proved that, because she knew all Chancellor’s secrets and ran straight to Victor with them. Chance called Billy out about that and lost his job, but Phyllis weaseled her way into the company and had better luck speaking truth to power.
Phyllis (to Billy): “When you’re in a corner you make rash decisions.”
Exhibit A: Gambling away Ja-boat.
It’s too bad Nick Newman hasn’t taken a page from his father Victor and ex-wife Phyllis because someone in Sharon’s orbit needs to tell her the truth: Get back on your meds, girl. This story of her talking to a bloody corpse has gone on waaaaaay too long. Her house is a mess, she’s screaming at everybody and she’s talking to a dead guy in broad daylight at Crimson Lights.
Esther: “The blueberry sage is a great de-stresser.”
Sharon: “Go away! Leave me alone!”
Esther (confused): “I’m just dropping off your tea.”
Make it stop.
B&B’s nuTaylor is trying to be a voice of reason for her messed-up family. There was the shrink telling Brooke she should be concerned about Hope’s mental health — and she’d better keep her daughter away from Finn.
Brooke: “The last thing Hope wants is to go after Steffy’s husband.”
Taylor: “Then she shouldn’t have kissed him.”
True. How dumb is Hope to cross her boss? Steffy ordered Hope to attend a meeting where everyone thought she was going to axe Hope’s line, but Steffy’s mother and husband were sitting there.
Hope: “I was assuming you summoned me for a business meeting.”
Steffy: “I did.”
Brooke: “With Finn and Taylor? Last I checked we didn’t have a line of scrubs or straitjackets.”
Maybe they should. It’s crazy that Hope brought Brooke while Taylor accompanied Steffy to a legit meeting. Only at a family company would they have “Bring your mommy to work day.”
DAYS’s Holly is on the warpath after finding out Eric was the drunk driver who killed her father Daniel 17 years ago. (That’s a long time to keep a secret, so kudos to DAYS for that one.) Her anger at Nicole for leaving — and everyone else for lying — means she’s willing to risk her romance with Tate in order to get revenge.
Holly (to EJ): “Tate’s dad is not going to get away with what he did to my Aunt Sarah!”
Fiona is the real criminal there. Hopefully that doesn’t take 17 years to come out.
Time was when EJ would have welcomed a sexy woman into his bed but his genuine hurt after getting his divorce decree from Nicole caused him to see the same pain in Gabi.
EJ: “I’m that irresistible?”
Gabi: “Stefan broke my heart. I want to punish him.”
EJ: “You already have. At this point the only person you’re punishing is yourself.”
Straight talk from EJ DiMera?! You only get that from Salemites when they talk to themselves (Fake Abigail, Connie, Fiona).
If only there had been someone around to give GH’s Alexis the straight dope when she impulsively grabbed Kristina’s gun and threw it off a bridge. Diane got there after Cates was murdered, but it was too late.
Alexis: “You don’t think I did it?”
Diane: “Of course I don’t. But you threatened the man hours before he was murdered and two trustworthy individuals saw you throw a gun off a bridge.”
Alexis: “I wouldn’t call Ric trustworthy.”
Diane: “That’s what you got out of what I just said? It’s not what you did or didn’t do. It’s what you can prove in a court of law.”
Diane couldn’t represent Alexis because she’s on retainer for the real killer (Sonny) so Alexis represented herself and went straight to jail. To quote Abraham Lincoln, A woman who is her own lawyer has a fool for a client.
Molly could have told her mom that, but Alexis doesn’t listen to Molly. She told Alexis to stop covering for Kristina or she would go down for capital murder and then confronted her dad for telling the cops what he saw.
Ric: “As an officer of the court I am obligated to report anything I witnessed.”
Molly: “I love you, Dad, but doing the right thing has not been on top of your radar.”
It is, however, for Molly, who told the cops her sister had no alibi for the night of the murder and then had to face more of Kristina’s boohoo-ing.
Molly: “This is not about you! This is about Mom. Mom would throw herself in front of a train to protect you and you’d still find a way to cry ‘poor me.’ ”
Kristina: “I didn’t kill John Cates.”
Molly: “Just like you weren’t going to steal my baby?”
Bullseye. Molly is turning into one of those “I am woman hear me roar” characters and I’m here for it. She calls every crooked Corinthos on their foolish antics and then marches back to the DA’s office to bust the next PC dope that breaks the law.
Tracy Quartermaine is another one who doesn’t suffer fools but that doesn’t mean she’s always right. Hiring a dialect coach to get rid of Lois’s accent because “it sounds like a car alarm” took away the best thing about Lois: her authenticity. But thumbs up to Tracy if we have that dialect coach to thank for Martin ditching his Kentucky fried twang…!