Howard Wise/jpistudios.com
The Neverending Story: Liam (Scott Clifton) wants a new chapter with Steffy (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood).
Triangles come in all shapes and psychoses on soap operas, but they are much more effective when soaps play all the beats.
Take Y&R. There’s Summer all up in the strange pairing of Sharon and Chance but nowhere near the debauchery of her ex-husband Kyle and the amoral Audra.
Summer (to Sharon at the hospital after Chance was shot): “I hope you don’t think it’s weird that I came here.”
Now that you mention it…
Let’s review: Summer’s mother Phyllis was in a triangle with Sharon and Nick for over two decades. In fact, Phyllis getting pregnant with Summer is what broke up Nick and Sharon’s marriage in 2005. Summer grew up and went after Sharon’s boy toy (good) but her parents were nowhere (bad).
Summer: “Chance is dating Sharon.”
Phyllis: “Ain’t nothing gonna happen there.”
Summer: “How do you know?”
Phyllis: “History. Sharon may do her little thing with Chance and marry Rafe and do this cat-and-mouse thing with Adam but at the end of the day it is all about Nick for Sharon. Do you have feelings for Chance?”
Summer: “I do, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it.”
Ha! I suppose it’s progress that Y&R isn’t highlighting the fact that Sharon is a solid 20 years older than Chance (especially after Jack dated the 30-ish Sally) but the historical significance of Phyllis and Nick’s daughter growing up to be Sharon’s rival was not played dramatically enough.
Sharon: “Summer was at the hospital.”
Nick: “She and Chance have been getting friendlier.”
That’s it? Nick’s daughter and his ex-wife lusting after the same man should be much more than a passing comment. At the very least it should put Nick and Phyllis back in each other’s orbits to meddle in their daughter’s life.
Speaking of meddling, Summer should have been all over Kyle’s ill-fated sex romps with Audra but Y&R was so busy highlighting business meetings and syringes that they missed that. Summer should be bouncing between two couples causing trouble and making noise.
If one triangle is good, two are better.
Take note, B&B. Liam was so busy sticking his nose in the Steffy/Finn reunion he almost missed his most recent ex-wife Hope falling into bed with Steffy’s brother Thomas (aka her stalker).
Liam: “We have to convince Steffy to leave Finn for good.”
Ridge: “Do you think you — or anybody — could tell Steffy what do to, who to love, what to do with her family?”
Liam: “No. But I hope she makes the decision to come back to me.”
After three failed marriages to each other, what’s Liam going to do to win Steffy back this time? Trap Finn in a ski gondola?
Nothing that dramatic. Liam went to Steffy’s house to plead his case and found her doing dishes in a black leather outfit and thigh-high boots because of course she was.
Liam (to Steffy): “Think about coming back to safety, to sanity, to me. Our story’s not over.”
It’s a soap opera so the story should never be over. But if wives are interchangeable, none of Liam’s feelings — or his marriages — mean anything.
Liam (to Steffy): “You know I ever stopped loving you right? You will come back to me. And when you do I am never letting you go.”
Yet in literally the next episode:
Liam (to Hope): “Damned if I don’t still love you and always will.”
It’s a quadrangle: Steffy, Hope, Liam and Liam’s ego.
DAYS has been showcasing a quadrangle lately, riding EJ/Nicole/Eric/Sloan until the wheels fall off. They missed valuable beats by having the two couples wed on the same day in quickie ceremonies, but then Nicole gave birth on the side of the road assisted by fugitives Dimitri and Leo and a new story kicked off: A baby switch.
Nicole: “Dimitri was supposed to bring my baby to the hospital!”
EJ: “They’re putting out an APB.”
That turned out to mean “A Peterson Baby.” Dimitri dropped the tot with Sloan and Trask to avoid the cops and Sloan decided to keep it.
Eric (incredulous): “The baby we were going to adopt was born tonight?”
Sloan: “I was surprised myself.”
This is the second time EJ and Nicole have been involved in a baby swap (shout out to Sydney DiMera!) and it’s a soap staple in Salem (Zack Brady, Tate Black) so hopefully EJ will do some digging before blindly accepting another “dead” baby.
Trask (to crib): “I know you miss your mommy Nicole but your mommy Sloan is going to love you as if you were her own. And you’ll be with your real daddy!”
Of all the crimes Melinda has committed, insinuating that adoptive dads aren’t “real” might be the worst.
GH’s Spencer acts like he is Ace’s dad which is even starting to give psycho amnesiac Esme some rooting value. A baby can’t technically be part of a love triangle but darned if that ill-conceived (!) spawn of Esme and Nikolas isn’t raining all over the Trina parade.
Spencer (after Esme said she is moving out): “When I say I am losing my baby brother all you can say is finally?”
Trina: “You’re Ace’s brother, not his father!”
For a more conventional threesome, see Diane, Robert, and any of his exes.
Diane (to Alexis): “It seems like every time Robert and I are cruising down the highway a blast from his past comes to run us off the road.”
First Holly, now Anna. I’m sure it’s annoying, but neither woman is a real threat considering Holly lives in Europe and Anna will probably swear off men for the rest of her life after this latest fiasco with Valentin. His child of the corn menaced Anna and burned down her house and he didn’t tell her until she mistakenly shot the little intruder in her new home.
Valentin (to Anna): “My daughter’s been stalking you for months and I’ve been covering for her.”
HE’S DONE.
Anna: “I trusted him. I won’t make that mistake again.”
See Diane? Nothing to worry about there.
Ditto Lois, whose only mission in returning to PC was to help her daughter Brook Lynn. Tracy tried to make make trouble in Ned and Olivia’s marriage by insinuating that Lois had designs on “Eddie” but Lois shut that down faster than a manicure on a Thursday.
Olivia: “Does Lois figure into this equation?”
Ned: “Yours is the only voice that could have brought me back.”
Are we on the cusp of an Olivia/Ned/“Eddie” triangle? Talk about psychoses…
Hey. It’s only my opinion.
