ABC
Laughing Through The Pain: Tracy (Jane Elliot) cracked wise to Chase (Josh Swickard) on GH despite their shared grief over Gregory.
There were so many clever lines uttered on soaps between May 22 and May 29, and in the capable hands of many of daytime’s most dynamic actors, these sitcom-worthy lines truly tickled our collective funny bone. Here’s a sampling of the humorous dialogue that stood out to Digest editors this week.
Bold And Beautiful
(Deacon tries to cheer up Sheila after Finn declined her invitation to attend her and Deacon’s wedding)
Deacon: “This is still going to be one of the most important days of your life. I’ll make it more important. You want jugglers? I’ll get you fire eaters. You want a pony? I’ll get you a fire-eating pony.”
(On her wedding day, Sheila is still blue that Finn won’t be coming.)
Deacon: “He should be here. All your friends should be here.”
Sheila (chuckles): “My friends?”
Deacon: “Well, you know, I mean if you had any. I’m speaking hypothetically.”
(While Finn is out picking up pizza for Kelly and Beth’s playdate, the girls end up going to a friend’s house for a pool party.)
Steffy: “I guess it’s kind of a waste that I sent out Finn to get pizza because they’re gonna be having a feast over there.”
Liam: “No, it’s not a waste because I want a slice.”
Steffy: “Oh, okay.”
Liam: “Aunt Liam is hungry.”
(Finn and Hope observe her dad, Deacon, and his mom Sheila, after they tied the knot.)
Hope: “Aww, our parents grow up so fast, don’t they?”
Days Of Our Lives
(Theresa assures Brady that he will find love again.)
Brady: “ ‘Love will find you?’ You got any more greeting card expressions?”
(Theresa and Brady talk about the prom.)
Theresa: “Let’s hope there aren’t any telekinetic kids trying to get revenge.”
Brady: “This is Salem. They are probably everywhere.”
(Maggie informs Xander and Sarah that Alex is moving back into the Kiriakis mansion with Theresa.)
Maggie: “I try not to pry to the nature of their relationship, but, you know, they’re closer together on some level.”
Xander: “Yeah, on the level that Theresa is after his money.”
Sarah: “I don’t know.”
Maggie: “And I feel that Theresa really cares about him.”
Xander: “Oh, I’m sure she does.”
Sarah: “Honey, Mom has a soft spot for Theresa.”
Xander: “Yeah. I’ll never understand it.”
Maggie: “Well, Theresa is no angel, but I think she just wants to be loved like we all do.”
Xander: “Sure. And when you say loved, you mean ‘showered with the Kiriakis fortune.’ ”
General Hospital
(Tracy and Chase remember his father, Gregory.)
Tracy: “I never heard your father brag. Except when he talked about you and Finn. He was so proud of you. He loved to talk about you. He never stopped talking about you. In fact, it was his only truly annoying quality.”
(Tracy prepares to head out of Chase and Brook Lynn’s place.)
Tracy: “Don’t bother to show me out — this place is the size of a postage stamp.”
Young And Restless
(Claire is at Crimson Lights trying to decide on what to order.)
Esther: “Hi, there, what can I get you?”
Claire: “I’m actually not sure. What would you recommend?”
Esther: “Well, the double mocha latte is very popular and so is the butter pecan swirl. Oh, and the caramel macchiato. And you give it some zhuzh, extra whipped cream, rainbow sprinkles, and you’re good to go.”
Claire: “Rainbow sprinkles?”
Esther: “Yeah, you only live once, right?”
