CBS/Sony
Sharon (Sharon Case, l.) and Mariah (Camryn Grimes) talk on Young and Restless.
There are so many clever lines uttered on soaps, and in the capable hands of daytime’s most dynamic actors, these sitcom-worthy lines truly tickle our collective funny bone. Here’s a sampling of the humorous dialogue that recently stood out to Digest editors.
Days Of Our Lives
(Stefan chastises EJ when he doesn’t come through with getting Gabi out of prison.)
Stefan: “We had a deal, EJ. I agreed not to tell Nicole the truth about Jude’s father, and you agreed in exchange for my brotherly silence to get my wife out of prison.”
EJ: “Would you keep your voice down?”
Stefan: “No. Not until my wife is out of prison.”
EJ: “I tried my best, damn it.”
Stefan: “You tried your best? How cute. This isn’t Little League, EJ, this is life. You don’t get a box of orange juice and some apple slices and a participation trophy for striking out. You lose your family. So try harder. Your house of cards depends on it.”
General Hospital
(Carly explains her precarious situation to her attorney.)
Carly: “Someone in that meeting was wearing a wire, so the FBI has an audio file of me committing RICO violations.”
Diane: “And how did you become aware of this recording?”
Carly: “A reliable source was able to hack into the FBI’s database and retrieve the audio file.”
Diane: “Oh, good! Another felony!”
(“The Empress” invites Brook Lynn and Chase to move into the mansion with Violet)
Chase: “So, was Tracy’s suggestion that we move in here an invitation or a demand?”
Brook Lynn: “It was a very strong invitation.”
Chase: “And she decided this unilaterally?”
Brook Lynn: “Well, Monica and Olivia both signed off on it.”
Chase: “Monica and Olivia agreed with Tracy? Both of them?”
Brook Lynn: “I know. It’s like the seven seals of the apocalypse all burst open at once.”
Young And Restless
(Sally shares her good news about Adam with Audra.)
Sally: “He actually just asked me to move in with him. He’s letting me buy throw pillows.”
Audra: “Oh, well, that is love!”
(Sharon and Mariah catch up, pictured above.)
Sharon: “It’s so wonderful having Faith back home. I did her laundry earlier.”
Mariah: “You did? You’re kidding.”
Sharon: “It was fun.”
Mariah: “Oh, I think you need to revise your idea of fun.”
(Faith and Lucy are hanging out together at Crimson Lights.)
Lucy: “When my mom and I were living in Savannah, there was a college nearby and it seemed like everyone was having so much fun all the time. You know, living in the dorms, and all the freedom and parties. It just seemed like a blast.”
Faith: “There’s this one thing called studying you kind of have to squeeze in every once in a while.”
(On a video call with Jill, Lily and Devon ask how she is doing in light of her heart condition.)
Jill: “I’ve got a lot of good doctors, so many that I can’t even remember their names. And there’s even a rumor that I might live.”
