Howard Wise/jpistudios.com
Pour Me: B&B’s Eric (John McCook) was ready to enjoy a cocktail with Donna (Jennifer Gareis).
There are so many clever lines uttered on soaps, and in the capable hands of daytime’s most dynamic actors, these sitcom-worthy lines truly tickle our collective funny bone. Here’s a sampling of the humorous dialogue that recently stood out to Digest editors.
Bold And Beautiful
(Friends and family gather at the Forrester mansion for a party.)
Eric: “That’s what I love, this house full of love and laughter. The only thing better would be a couple of really dry martinis.”
Donna: “Sparkling water maybe.”
Eric: “That’s what I said, isn’t it?”
(During a heart-to-heart, Bill is surprised when Katie pays him a compliment.)
Bill: “Wow. All this time I thought I was bullheaded and arrogant and aggressive.”
Katie: “Yeah, and a sore loser and boastful and… did you mention bullheaded?”
Bill: “I think I did. I think I checked that box.”
Katie: “Okay, okay. I just wanted to make sure.”
Days of Our Lives
(Tate proposes a plan for Aaron to switch places with him and go to lacrosse camp.)
Tate: “I had this brilliant idea. I thought, basically, when I go away to camp I’m off-grid. So my parents will be relieved when I’m there, and they’ll stop worrying and paying attention.”
Aaron: “Yeah, or they could set up a Tate Cam in the camp like they do for baby pandas at the zoo.”
Tate: “Could they do that?”
Aaron: “What? No. Dude, no. I’m kidding. Bro, lighten up.”
(EJ tells Stefan he’s holding a press conference to boost his image as DA.)
Stefan: “Will there be cheerleaders? I hear free food and booze always helps.”
(Jada tells Rafe about visiting “Bobby” and the claims he made.)
Jada: “He claims to have information on a crime, and not just any crime. A murder.”
Rafe: “Murder? That does change things. So it’s like Mr. Plum in the library with the candlestick? Or something less obvious?”
General Hospital
(Alexis interrupts her boss Nina’s conversation with her boss, Drew.)
Nina: “It’s going to have to wait because I am busy. Or have you forgotten that I’m your boss?”
Alexis (in a singsong voice): “Not anymore.”
(Alexis confronts Adrian over The Intruder article about Kristina and Blaze.)
Alexis: “By posting that loathsome recording, you intruded on my daughter and her girlfriend.”
Adrian (laughing): “Is that what’s snapping your brassiere?”
(Adrian gets his wrist slapped to stay quiet before getting fired.)
Nina: “I don’t think Italian shoes come in designer cement.”
Young And Restless
(Nick encounters Phyllis and Summer with their heads together and their behavior immediately tips him off that something is up.)
Nick: “Well, hello, ladies.”
Summer: “Dad, hey, what are you doing out so late?”
Nick: “Well, clearly this is the happening spot. All the pretty people hanging out.”
(He’s suspicious when they don’t react.)
Nick: “So, no snappy comeback? No patented eye roll?”
(When Summer shares with her parents that Kyle’s decision-making could lead to disaster, Phyllis assumes the problem is Claire.)
Phyllis: “Are we talking about Harrison’s new nanny, Scary Poppins?”
