Girls Gone Wild: B&B’s Luna (Lisa Yamada) kidnapping Steffy (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) is gripping fare, while Willow’s (Katelyn MacMullen) inability to keep her lips off Drew’s (Cameron Mathison) is a head-scratcher on GH.

The Best

General Hospital: Returns ’R Us

If you’re looking to round out a soap canvas, you can’t do better than the children of one A-list character and the dad of another. Laura has been the heart of this show on and off since 1977, so it made no sense that all three of her kids (Nikolas, Lucky and Lulu) were MIA. With comatose Lulu needing a transplant, Laura visited Nikolas in prison to test his liver for viability; it failed. “Find Lucky and bring him home,” Nikolas counseled his mom. Whaddya know? Lucky was just spotted in Africa, so Laura and Kevin set off to do just that.

Back home, Molly had lost her baby, her relationship with her sister and faith in her mom when her troublemaking dad turned up at her baby’s funeral. Lawyer Ric Lansing stepped up for Molly, scolding Alexis for not being there for her daughter after the surrogacy debacle. However, it was this exchange with his former sister-in-law Carly that secured the thumbs-up on Ric’s return:

Carly: “Look what the cat dragged in.”

Ric: “Was that really necessary?”

Carly: “Was chaining me to a wall necessary?”

Welcome back!

 

Young and Restless: Sally Busts Adam!

After months of lying about the one-night stand they shared in Baltimore, Adam and Chelsea’s partners finally found out what happened. But it was Billy who told Sally the truth, not Adam. “I didn’t want to hurt you,” offered Adam lamely. That was the last straw for Sally, who had given her beau every opportunity to come clean. She drilled down on his pathological behavior, wondering how he could be such a good liar — does he rewrite the truth in his head or is he so dead inside all he thinks about is getting caught?

Yes and yes. Adam’s offer of couples counseling was too little, too late, so Sally just had one more question: Did love play a part in his sex romp with Chelsea? Yes, he responded.

That packed more of a punch than Adam’s actual cheating — so Sally packed a bag.

 

Bold and Beautiful: Luna Traps Steffy

The timing was perfect for Steffy to disappear. She had just found out Hope kissed her husband, Finn, so she told Finn she needed space and took off. A quick stop at Bill’s house gave her an eyeful: Bill’s “daughter” Luna kissing him. Steffy followed Luna to her apartment to confront her about the smooch and learned Luna and Bill weren’t father and daughter after all. How about some iced tea? queried Luna.

Steffy woke up drugged and locked in a cage. Finn tried to “honor her wishes” by not texting or calling, and despite Steffy being CEO of Forrester, her disappearance raised no eyebrows at work. That gave Luna free rein to continue gaslighting Bill, Poppy, RJ etc. while popping in to her apartment to taunt the screaming Steffy about how she’ll never see her kids again.

Another twisted angle to this story is that Poppy sits in jail worrying about Luna while Luna is the one who actually murdered Tom and Hollis and framed her mother for it. “Thank God you have Bill,” said the clueless Poppy to her psycho daughter.

But who has Steffy?

 

Days of our Lives: Brady Confesses To Hitting Sarah

Too bad he didn’t do it. Viewers watched Xander’s mother Fiona position Brady’s drunk body behind the wheel after she struck Sarah, and then walk away like it was nothing. She’s been lurking around Salem ever since, talking to the unseen baby about her crime and nosing around for news about the investigation.

Meanwhile, Brady added 2 + 2 and got 5, assuming he must be guilty because he woke up drunk in the front seat. A conversation with Tate about why people lie caused Brady to flash back (literally) on Kristen telling him she hid his car to protect him so, in an effort to set a good example for his son, he confessed. Justin agreed to represent him but was surprised to hear Brady didn’t remember any details of the accident. “It had to have been me,” said Brady. Not so fast, said Justin.

That would have been good advice for Maggie. She encouraged Sarah and Xander to join her at the Kiriakis mansion for the paralyzed Sarah’s recovery and invited hit-and-run driver Fiona to join them.

 

The Worst

GH: Drew And Willow Betray Their Family

It’s hard to pinpoint which is ickier: Willow cheating on her devoted husband with his uncle, or Drew cheating on his current bedmate Nina with her daughter. Nothing about their trysts makes sense, including their sappy dialogue. “Am I imagining this?” gushed the formerly tough Navy SEAL to the much younger Willow. “You and me? The man that sees you and wants you — and you want me too?”

Apparently yes. They smooched as Michael waited at home for Willow to join him and their children for dinner. Family supposedly means everything to Willow (to the point where she quit her job as a nurse to spend more time with her kids) but there she was having a romp in an office where anybody could walk in. Risking their jobs, lives and extended joint Q family for this out-of-left-field attraction makes them both reckless. Willow spent too much time in a cult to fall for a slippery wannabe congressman who also happens to be the great uncle of her children.

Don’t get us wrong — we love the soapiness of a messy affair. We just wish the build to this one had a little more logic behind it.

 

Y&R: Crash Zone

Children getting into car accidents is rarely entertaining. Y&R killed Cassie that way in 2005 thanks to a drunk Daniel, but got years of story out of Nick and Sharon mourning their daughter and Nick’s subsequent affair with Phyllis (which produced Summer). Fast forward to 2021 when Nick and Sharon’s daughter Faith drank vodka and smashed Victor’s truck into a tree. Faith’s kidney failed but she got a transplant from her Uncle Adam. Crisis averted.

Now it’s 2024 and Daniel’s daughter Lucy is following in her father’s footsteps, coercing another child of Nick and Sharon’s into a car. Lucy got drunk in the park and called a now-sober Faith for a ride home. Faith agreed, but somehow crashed, landing both girls in the hospital. Obviously Y&R is using yet another alcohol-related accident to push the unbalanced Sharon over the edge, but the overuse of kids and cars needs to hit the brakes in Genoa City.

 

Applause, Applause

Good callback on DAYS when Maggie talked with the paralyzed Sarah about the long-ago car crash that also left Maggie (temporarily) paralyzed.… Y&R’s Victor and Nikki taking Lily under their wing is a good harbinger for the Chancellor story…. Another great performance by Jane Elliot (Tracy) as Tracy lit into Dante for his past treatment of Lulu on GH.

 

Picky, Picky

That was a sweet scene between Y&R’s Billy and Connor at Crimson Lights but someone should mention that Connor only has his eyesight because Billy’s late daughter Delia donated her corneas…. Yes, it was raining, but why would GH’s Kristina have had heavy boots and a coat at her mother’s house in August in New York?… Why is Body and Soul eating so much screen time on DAYS?